“I don’t know. Maybe we can get her advice, see what she thinks is best.”
That sounds like a good idea, but if I’m being honest, there’s more on my mind than just telling my brother about us without giving him a heart attack and sending Olivia into labor too early.
“Garrett?”
“Yeah?”
“You said you didn’t see any end in sight, but…What about my interview? Maybe I should just cancel.”
“You have to go,” he insists quietly. “I know you aren’t sure if it’s what you want anymore, but you owe it to yourself to check it out, give it a chance. Go to Toronto and see how you feel.”
“But what if I feel empty without you?”
“I don’t think that’s possible. You don’t need me to make you feel full. You’re already enough. It’s okay to not want to be apart, but I don’t want you to make any decisions because of me.”
“I don’t want to lose this.” Him. I don’t want to lose him.
“We won’t. If you want this, even if you want to leave, we’ll work it out. I promise.”
A soft moan leaves my lips as he trails his fingers along the inside of my thigh in the warm water as he palms my breast. “It’s hard to focus when you’re doing that.”
“That’s the point,” he murmurs against my neck. “I want you to forget, just for a few minutes. Forget about today, forget about tomorrow, forget about the job.” He drags one finger up my slit, making me shudder. “Let me take care of you. Let me do something.”
“You do everything.” My head falls to his shoulder as he pushes inside me. “You are everything.”
“You’re my everything.”
I’ve never been anyone’s anything, but Garrett makes me feel like I haven’t missed a thing, like all this time I was simply waiting for him so he could show me what it meant to be loved so wholly, to find your best friend, your partner, your soul mate, all in one. To find the person who knows just how you tick, how to help when you’re too stubborn to ask for it, how to be patient and let you crawl out of your shadow at your own pace, all while being confident in knowing that he’s there, he’s waiting, and he’ll keep waiting. The person who matches your rhythm, whose smooth edges soften your jagged ones.
I don’t know how to put all that into words, to tell him exactly what he means to me, so as his fingers move inside me, each thrust purposeful and deep, as his thumb circles with precision, I reach back, fingers sinking through his locks, holding him close. And as he stares down at me, so much unbridled love shining in his eyes, as he brings me higher while the music drifts around us, encasing us in this perfect bubble of happiness, I press my mouth to his.
“Just a small cup,” Garrett tells me sternly, watching me slip on his button-up shirt over my panties as he drains the tub. “Too much hot chocolate will keep you up.” He pulls his boxer briefs on and claps a hand to my ass as we stumble into the hallway, and he calls for Google to turn the music off.
“What if I’m not tired?” I press him against the wall. “What if I wanna take you to Pound Town?”
He chuckles, hands sliding up the backs of my thighs, squeezing my ass. “If anyone’s taking anyone to Pound Town, it’s me taking you.”
“Maybe you can take me first, and I’ll take you second.”
“Tomorrow, sunshine.” The amused but firm look in his eyes tells me he’s not going to relent, and when I sigh, he takes my chin and sears me with a kiss. “Don’t be a brat.”
“Sounds like a challenge to me, big guy.”
Taking his hand in mine, I tow him toward the kitchen. The glow of the light above the stove throws shadows across the dark hall, and my chest tightens as one of those shadows steps out of the doorway, into the light.
“Carter,” I breathe out, Garrett’s body crashing into mine as I skid to a stop.
“Shit.” Garrett wraps his hands around my waist, keeping me upright. The warm air from the vents nips at my bare legs, like the heat from his bare chest as he holds me to him.
“I knocked,” Carter whispers, gaze ricocheting between us, barely dressed and still wet. With each moment that passes, his chest heaves faster, each breath shallower than the last. “But you didn’t…I was worried you…I…”
“Hey, man, listen.” Garrett takes a step forward, hands out in front of him like he’s approaching a trapped animal.
Carter’s eyes flash with anger, betrayal, and his fists ball as he stares at me. He steps back.
I shake my head, reaching for him. “No, it’s not…it’s not…” My heart leaps to my throat as he takes another step back, then another. “Carter.”
I don’t know what I expected, but it wasn’t this, the silence. Rage, I think I could deal with. Screaming. But not this, not my brother who always has something to say just standing here staring at us, at me, like he’s never felt so deceived.
I want him to fight with me, to get it all out. I want him to tell me he’s angry we lied. I want to tell him that for the first time in my life, I’m in love with a man who treats me like the dream he always wanted.
Instead, he grips the doorhandle and turns away.
“Carter, please,” I beg. “Don’t go.” The weight of the day returns all at once, crushing my chest. I lay my hand over it, clutching it as I struggle to breathe. Tears come without warning, streaming down my cheeks, and as Carter hesitates, head down, I whisper, “I’m sorry.”
He looks to the ceiling, throat bobbing.
“No,” he finally utters, the word barely audible. He tugs the door open, but before it slams behind him, he gives us two more words, and that bubble I was so content to stay in shatters around us like glass. “Fuck this.”
CHAPTER 40
CLUSTERFUCK
GARRETT
Carter hasn’t answered his phone in six days.
Six fucking days.
On the fourth day, Jennie gave up. She cried and she got angry. She sat by herself on the couch and said she wanted to be alone, and she curled into my side and asked me not to let go.
Every time Jennie closed her eyes and drifted to sleep, I called him.
But if Carter Beckett isn’t answering his sister’s phone calls, he’s sure as hell not answering the calls of the guy who’s fucking her.
Because that’s all Carter thinks this is. He thinks I see Jennie as an opportunity, easy access four floors below. He thinks I would lie, throw away years of friendship over a piece of ass.
He doesn’t see the commitment, the love, the fucking endless, earth-shattering friendship we’ve built, poured all of ourselves into in order to build the trust, to overcome every obstacle, to help each other be better on our own so we can be better together. He doesn’t see that I can’t imagine my life with anyone other than Jennie by my side.
If he’d just pick up his goddamn phone and listen, he’d know.
I keep telling Jennie he just needs time, but I don’t know how much more distance she can take. The longer he’s silent, the more Jennie thinks he’s never coming back.
We had a plan, but if life has taught me anything, it’s that nothing ever goes to plan. Almost everything goes to shit.
I guess that’s not entirely true. Because life gave me Jennie, and Jennie gave me life.
But I’m running out of ideas. I don’t know how to get Carter to listen, to just give us a damn chance to explain that we never meant for any of this to happen. I sure as hell didn’t imagine she’d sweep into my life and become my best friend, my favorite person, in such a short time. Only she did. She’s mine, and I’m hers. I think that’s the way it was always meant to be.