“Krissy!” Simon calls, cupping his hands around his mouth. “Jennie can come tomorrow, can’t she?”
Her mouth quirks as she looks me over. “I didn’t know you liked to dance, Jennie.”
I bite my tongue to keep from calling her a giant twat, because I’m a fucking dance major, the same as she is. “You know, for fun,” she adds. “Of course you can come.”
Simon’s as oblivious to her attitude as he always is, or maybe he just doesn’t give two shits. He barely spares her the time of day anymore, and sometimes I think that’s what bothers Krissy most about me. I get the attention she wishes she had.
He pops a loud smooch on my cheek. “See? Told ya you could come.” He starts jogging away. “I’ll text you tomorrow before I pick you up.”
Krissy’s tight smile lingers on me. “I was just saying to the girls, I don’t know why you never come out for drinks with us.”
I’m about to remind her they’ve never once invited me, but Ashley number one beats me to a response.
“Jennie doesn’t drink.”
“What? You don’t?”
I shake my head.
Krissy’s nose wrinkles. “Ew. Why?”
My chin juts, because her tone is pissing me off. “I don’t need alcohol to have or be fun.” While true, it’s not my reason. But I don’t need to explain myself to anyone.
She shrugs. “Guess we’ll see you on Monday then,” she tosses over her shoulder as the three of them walk away, leaving me standing here, wondering why being sober means I’ve suddenly been uninvited.
Krissy pauses, and I hate how my body buzzes, eager, hopeful for inclusion, when she calls my name.
“Yeah?” My grip tightens around the strap of my bag, waiting.
“We heard you’ve been recommended for the job in Toronto. I won’t be at all surprised if you get it.”
My face beams with pride, tension in my chest easing, shoulders dropping. “Thank you. I’m really excited about the opportunity.”
“Apparently talent isn’t their priority this round, which is why I’m not going to bother applying. I heard they’re looking for someone willing to follow blindly like a sheep. It makes sense Leah thought of her favorite student. They know you won’t stir any dirt up there. You’re so…” Her gaze drifts down, then back up. “Vanilla.”
I open my mouth to tell her to go fucking fuck herself, but instead, my chin trembles. My teeth quickly descend, biting into my lip, trying to still the quiver before she can derive any pleasure from seeing it, from knowing she’s succeeded in hurting me.
I don’t know what I’ve done to make her dislike me so strongly over the years, not when I’ve worked so hard to stay in my own lane.
But staying in my own lane doesn’t make me vanilla. Following the rules because I see no need to break them doesn’t make me boring.
Does it?
“I’m a good dancer, and I’ve worked my ass off,” finally leaves my mouth. “I always work my ass off.”
“Oh, of course.”
“I deserve to be considered.”
Krissy gives me a condescending pat on the shoulder. “I didn’t mean anything bad by it. There’s nothing wrong with being predictable.”
“It’s called being reliable.”
“And it certainly doesn’t hurt that your brother is Carter Beckett. I’m sure that plays into this. Think of the extra publicity, the donations…They have so much to gain by having his little sister teach there.”
My fists clench, nails biting into my palms. “My brother has nothing to do with this.”
Krissy gestures for her friends to follow her. “Anyway, Jennie. We’ll see you on Monday.”
Ashlee lingers, giving me a small wave paired with a sympathetic smile. “Have a good weekend, Jennie.”
I watch their retreating forms, demanding my brain to drop it, to not let it get to me. But then the sound of heels clicking in the hallway echoes in my ears, matching the pounding of my pulse, and my throat feels thick and tight when I try to swallow.
“Jennie! There you are. How’s my favorite student? I wanted to ask you how you’re feeling about the job, with graduation getting closer.”
My eyes shift, barely meeting Leah’s. The lines in her face soften, her brown eyes full of compassion as she steps into me, clasping my elbow.
“Hey, are you okay? Wanna go grab a bite?”
Is this what Krissy was talking about? Aside from Simon, my teacher is my only friend at school, the only other person who invites me to sit with her in the cafeteria, who just fucking…talks to me.
No, I tell myself, squeezing my eyes shut and shaking my head. Don’t let her make you doubt yourself. Don’t fucking let her, Jennie.
“Jennie,” Leah urges softly. “What’s going on? Let’s grab a coffee and sit down.”
“I…” I feel like an idiot. I feel alone. I feel so…vanilla. I don’t fit in with the rest of them, and while I’ve always known that, today it feels heavier and darker than it ever has. Is there anything special about me?
“I have to go,” I finally mumble, peeling Leah’s hand off.
She calls after me, but I’m already out the door, stepping into the blustery afternoon. The damp wind slaps at my cheeks, making my skin sting. It was mild this morning, rainy, but the temperatures have taken a sharp dive and the rain has turned to snow. It’s that thick, heavy kind, sleet that makes every step an icy hazard as it coats the ground.
I slip twice on my way to the car, barely catching myself before I faceplant. I whip the door open and shove my coat and bag in the backseat before climbing in. The snow falls heavier the longer I sit here, gripping the steering wheel, telling myself these people aren’t worth my tears, but that doesn’t stop them from prickling my eyes. By the time I’m creeping out of the parking lot, the blowing snow and my flooded vision make it nearly impossible to see.
My heart slams against my rib cage and my pulse thunders in my ears as I approach a four-way stop sign, and when I tap on the brake, the car skids forward.
And forward.
The car going through the intersection blares its horn.
Every muscle in my body tenses and my knuckles turn white as I grind down on the brake as hard as I can and swing the wheel. My tears finally spill at the crunching of metal.
CHAPTER 23
INDIANA BONES TO THE RESCUE
GARRETT
“You call that girl yet?”
My thumbs pause on my game controller and my heart skips a beat. “Huh?”
Emmett looks at me. “The photographer? The one Carter hooked you up with.”
“You’re welcome,” Carter mumbles around a carrot stick. Apparently Olivia’s on a health kick because she’s getting down on the way her body’s changing the later she gets in her pregnancy. She’s banned cookies from their house, and Carter’s trying to be supportive by not eating them. We’re at Emmett’s, and Olivia’s not here, so I’m impressed he’s sticking with it.
“Uh, no,” I finally answer, hoping we leave it at that.
“Why not?” Carter asks. “She seemed nice.”
“Yeah, Garrett,” Cara chimes from the kitchen. “Why not?”
“Uh, I donno.” I rub the back of my neck. I’m tired of doing this, dodging questions about my relationship status, or why I keep going back to my hotel room early and alone. “I don’t think we’d be a good match.”
“How do you know?” Emmett asks. “Maybe you’d really get along if you gave it a chance.”
“I just wasn’t feeling her.” I keep my eyes on the TV screen as my player nabs the puck then barrels down the ice.
“You’re never feeling anyone lately,” Emmett points out. “I don’t think I’ve seen you entertain anyone for the last two months.”
“Yeah, what gives?” Carter asks.
“How come nobody asks Adam these questions?” I grumble.
“Adam’s not here right now,” Emmett reminds me. “And he’s still sorting through his shit. And don’t even think about bringing up Jaxon. That guy’s got three girls in his lap on any given night.”
“Well, maybe I’m sorting through some shit too.”