***
I gave Bryan her pills with a glass of wine, hoping that would help her relax even more. I made her get comfortable and then placed the bag of ice where she needed it. I waited for her to fall asleep, drawing light circles with my fingers over her perfect skin. Then I headed back downstairs. There was no way I’d be able to get any rest. My mind was going a mile a minute. I was such a motherfucking prick. I went into the studio and picked up my guitar. I didn’t normally turn to the music when I was feeling like utter shit. I wasn’t Smith or Luke. But I couldn’t very well grab a bottle of liquor off the bar and get loaded. I needed to be functional when Landry woke up. I was halfway into an old tune by The Band when Smith came in. I didn’t stop playing, so he just picked up his bass and joined me. It’d been a long time since we’d sat up in the middle of the night and just jammed out. Letting riffs come and go, never stopping. We played well together; our bond was a big part of what made The Devil’s Share so fucking great.
After a while Smith stopped playing, and a minute later I did too. He sat his guitar on its stand and then handed me a bottle of whiskey. “Great minds and old habits.” I smiled and took a pull, much smaller than I normally would have. Then handed it back and he did the same. “Did I wake up the whole house? Or just you?”
“Just me. Couldn’t sleep.” He handed me back the bottle.
I took it but didn’t turn it up. “I can’t be hung over tomorrow.”
Smith chuckled. “Really? You think a couple pulls off a whiskey bottle are going to make you hung over? We both know it would take much more than that.”
He was right. I took a few swallows and handed it back.
He took another drink and then sat it on the floor between his feet. “Why aren’t you in your bed, wrapped around your girl?”
I looked at the ground, not answering.
He chuckled. “You show me yours, I’ll show you mine.”
“I’m an asshole.”
He nodded. “We all are. Care to elaborate?”
“Bryan needed ice and ibuprofen.”
Smith grinned. “I told you she would. That’s not your fault, man. You were born with a big rod and you fell for a petite chick.”
I nodded slowly. “You think B was the first petite chick I’ve fucked?” I felt wrong calling what we’d just done fucking. But I was pissed at myself. “I’ve never gotten anyone else ice before. I never fucking cared. How many chicks have I walked away from without a backward glance? How many girls have stayed awake at night, with pain and regret? What if I was the bad night that turned Landry’s mom into the disaster she is? I can assure you, I used her and then tossed her to the side.”
Smith picked the bottle back up and handed it to me. “We went over this the other day, man. We were all dicks. We all treated women like complete trash. But we grow up. We learn from our shit. You made sure Bryan was okay, right?”
“Yeah, of course.”
“Do you think I ever cared about hurting anyone but Dylan? I didn’t. She was the first girl in my entire life who I cared about. Who I wanted to take care of. And I doubt one heartless fuck from a rock star is what caused Landry’s mom to be a shitty parent. Trust me, that kind of behavior takes years of conditioning.”
I nodded, swallowing the whiskey in my mouth. “It just keeps coming, you know? It’s like, I have these amazing moments with Bryan, and then something happens to make me remember what an asshole I’ve been.” I shook my head. “And it’s double. Because it’s not just Bryan, it’s Landry too.” I took another sip. “Those chicks we treated like that? They have dads out there, lying awake at night hoping and praying that no one ever hurts their little girls.”
Smith grabbed the bottle back. “You and Dash are truly and utterly fucked.”
I put my head in my hands. “No. Shit.” I grinned. “It’s karma. We’ll probably all have nothing but girls.” I stretched my legs out in front of me, feeling slightly better after unloading my guilt on Smith. “Your turn.”
“I was actually waiting up for Luke.” He sighed. “He’s going down a bad road, man.”
“I know.” I pointed to the second set of drums in the corner. “He’s giving Landry music lessons though.”
“Last week he overheard Dash tell me and Dylan that he was going to ask Lexi to marry him.”
“Holy shit.” No wonder Luke was going off the deep end.
“It can’t be easy for him, especially now that Bryan is here, to be around all of us.” Smith stood up, checking his phone for the time.
“We’ve all been pretty occupied, I guess.” Other than studio time the only person who ever really spent any time with Luke the past couple of days was Landry.
“You think he’s in love with her?”
“With Lex? I don’t know. I think he thinks he is.” I snorted. “Does that make sense?”