Dash chuckled. “Dylan wanted to eat brunch at some new vegan place.”
“So you are all hiding down here, waiting for the chicks to leave?” I sat at Luke’s drum set and started to play. I wasn’t near as good as Luke, but I wasn’t as bad as Dash. I laughed as Luke covered his ears and Smith jerked awake. I hit the cymbal and then reached out to calm it with my hand. “Now that I have your attention, what do you guys want to do today? Because I’m sure as shit not spending this beautiful Saturday indoors.”
Dash sat up, putting his phone down beside him. “How ’bout you tell us what happened with you and Bryan last night?”
I sat Luke’s drumsticks down. “What do you mean? We went out with Smith and his cock-blocking girlfriend. Danced, drank, came home, and went to bed.” I was never one to mind a good kiss-and-tell. Although the banging had always been implied. But with Bryan it didn’t seem right to talk about it with my bandmates. Last night meant something to me, even though it was only kissing, I didn’t want to cheapen it with high fives. Not that any of them would actually high-five me for making out with my best friend…but, whatever.
Luke turned off my PS3. “Dude. Did you bang Bryan?”
I rolled my eyes. “Really? What are we, sixteen?”
“Sixteen? I thought you started earlier than that.” Luke winked.
I sighed. “We may have crossed over that friendship line, just a little.” I held my finger and thumb up, about an inch apart. Then two inches, then three.
Smith let out a loud chuckle. “Just a little? You two can’t even see that damn line from where you’re standing.”
“I asked her to stay for the summer, to help me with Landry.” I gestured around the studio. “I need to be in here with you guys working on the new album and I want Landry to be with someone she likes and trusts.”
“And you aren’t ready to give Bryan up yet.” Dash said it like a statement.
I nodded.
“You two just boning?” Luke sat up, running his fingers through his hair.
I shook my head. Technically we hadn’t boned yet, but even when we did (and we would) it still wouldn’t be just sex.
Smith grinned. “You tell her how you feel?”
“Yeah, I told her last night. We’re going to take things slow, and she doesn’t want to tell Dylan yet.” I shot Smith an apologetic look.
Smith held his hands up. “No way, Dylan hates secrets, man. If she found out I knew and never said anything? She’d shoot me. For real.”
“Look, all you know for sure is that you saw us kiss and that I like her. I’m sure Dylan has already figured that out by now. And one kiss isn’t that big of a deal.” Even if it was the best kiss of my entire life. I scrubbed my hands down my face. “I feel like a chick. I’m the one who started calling her every night, I’m the one who begged her to come here. I’m the one who basically put my heart on the line last night. I don’t know what the fuck happened. It’s like one minute my life was all groupies and drugs and then the next I’ve got a girl and a kid.”
“Do you actually want Bryan? Or are you just getting caught up in all this because of Landry? Because if you’re just looking for a mother for your daughter, that’s not fair. To any of you.” Dash stood, stretching his back.
“I think I fell for Bryan back in New Orleans. I don’t know what it is about that girl, I can’t get enough.” I rose and stepped around the drums. “We spent weeks talking and texting, and then when Landry showed up, all I could think about was how I needed Bryan here with me for this.” I threw my arms out. “To be honest, she’s the best friend I’ve ever had. She makes me laugh; she makes me happy; she gets me. You know? And she makes me feel so…capable. It all happened so damn fast! My life is unrecognizable.”
Smith stood and clapped me on the back. “Welcome to the club, bro.”
I collapsed on the couch, my head in my hands. “I have a daughter.” I looked up, near hysterics. “I have a kid, and she’s had a horrible shitty life. Because of me. Because I can’t be bothered to learn chicks’ names, or to make sure they are okay after I leave. I use them, and then I throw them away.”
Smith wore a understanding smile, “Jacks, bud, you—”
“I don’t deserve Bryan’s love, and I sure as hell don’t deserve Landry’s.” I nodded slowly. “But I want to.” Dash threw his arm around me and pulled me in for a hug.
Chapter Sixteen
Bryan
“Well, all the testosterone sure as hell isn’t down here.” The guys broke apart at the sound of Lexi’s voice. Dash walked to the base of the stairs, his hand out to help his pregnant girlfriend down. I followed, and I couldn’t keep my eyes off Jacks. What was it about him down here in the studio? Seeing him in his element always turned me on. Was the lust just the buildup from not being together yet? Or would it always be this way between us? I hoped it would, I prayed that it would. I never wanted to tire of this man.