Dinner went surprisingly well. Dylan loosened up after a glass or two of wine and she and Bryan made us all laugh with stories about when they were little. Even Landry was giggling. After it was over Bryan went into the kitchen with Dylan and Lexi. Leaving me alone once again with my daughter. Was she my daughter? The more time I spent with her, the more convinced I was that her mother had actually been telling the truth. But we wouldn’t know for sure for a few more days. In the meantime this kid deserved some comfort and happiness and warmth. And I was going to make sure she got it. But I wasn’t super positive what to do next. It was late and she’d had a big day. That meant bedtime, right? “Do you want to come upstairs and pick out a room?”
Landry nodded and got to her feet. We stopped and grabbed all her bags before heading up the dark wood stairs. There were two empty bedrooms on the second floor, which was where Luke’s and my rooms were. Whichever one Landry didn’t want, Bryan could have. I doubted it would go over well if B stayed in my room, even if nothing was going to happen. Plus, was that a good example for Landry? I had no clue what was good for her and what wasn’t. I was so out of my element it wasn’t even funny. “Okay, this is my room and the one at the end of the hall is Luke’s.” I flipped on the lights in both empty rooms. “Which one of these would you like?” The one across the hall from me was super girly-looking and had its own bathroom where the one next door to me shared a bathroom with my room.
“Uh…this one.” She picked the one right across the hall from mine. The doors were lined up exactly.
I nodded. “Good choice, the bathtub in there is huge. It’s like a swimming pool.” I sat her bags down. “Uh, do you want to use it? The bathtub?”
She peered inside and smiled. “Can I?”
“It’s your bathtub, Buttercup. You can use it whenever you want.” Right? Wait. Did I have to bathe her? She seemed old enough to do that herself. Right? “Do you take baths by yourself? Or did your mom…? I can get Bryan to come sit with you, if you want.”
She shook her head. “No thank you. I can do it myself.”
I nodded. “Okay. Well, uh, how about I stay out here and unpack your stuff?” I dumped all her bags out on the bed. “Want to grab some jammy jams?”
She giggled at my words and I felt like I’d just won the lottery. Like every giggle, every time she was happy and carefree was a gift. After she shut the bathroom door I made myself busy putting away all her new stuff. After I was done I reached for her tiny pink suitcase, unzipping it and opening the lid. Just like I figured, all her clothes were tattered and worn. All her shoes had holes in them. Did her mom work? If she knew I was her dad, why didn’t she come to me for money? There was nothing personal in her bag. No stuffed animal, no pictures. I went across the hall to my room and opened my top dresser drawer. I had a stuffed elephant named Ello that I’d had since I was a kid. I took him with me everywhere, every tour and every hotel. I kept him packed in my bag, I didn’t sleep with him or anything…but I just liked having him close. Maybe Landry would too.
Chapter Six
Bryan
Landry and Jacks had been gone for a while by the time I’d helped Dylan clean the kitchen and put away the leftovers. Smith, Luke, and Dash were all stretched out in the living room watching a movie. Lexi was lying with her head in Dash’s lap and her feet across Luke’s legs. Smith smiled when my sister walked into the room, holding his arm out for her to climb onto him. I liked Smith for Dylan; it was so obvious that he loved her, cherished her. I stood for a minute watching the two of them talking quietly while he ran his fingers through her long hair. Jacks was right, I was going to break up with Shep. I never once looked at him the way Dylan looked at Smith, or the way Lexi looked at Dash. I’d never looked at anyone like that. I’d dated some really nice guys, and some really not nice ones. But either way, Dylan was right, it never lasted. I was a wild card, a fly-by-the-seat-of-my-pants kind of girl. And I had just never found a guy who held my interest past a certain point.
I headed up stairs and smiled when I heard Landry’s laughter. I leaned against the open bedroom door, watching as Jacks pulled back the covers and then tucked her in tight. He handed her a stuffed elephant. I couldn’t hear what he was saying to her, he was talking softly. But the look on her face was priceless and she tucked the elephant in next to her. I stepped back into the shadows and waited for him in the hallway. He closed her door partway and then gestured to the room across the hall. I followed him in and shut the door a smidge when he turned on a lamp. We were in his room. I recognized the dark gray walls and the plaid bedding from our FaceTime calls. “Think she’ll be okay in there?”
Jacks stood staring across the hall. “I hope so.”
“My gosh, I can’t even imagine what she is going through right now. You know? I mean her shitty mom bailed out and abandoned her, then she was plucked from the only home she knew and brought to live with people she’d never met.”
Jacks hung his head. “I know. It’s fucking gut wrenching. To top it all off she thinks her mom is lying about me being her dad. And I can’t set her mind at ease, I don’t want to tell her I am and then the paternity test says otherwise.”
“What if it does? What are you going to do? Let her go into the system?” I felt sick just thinking of Landry being passed around from one foster home to another.