“Apparently that’s what she wanted.” Mike didn’t have a clue if Elsa was in the right frame of mind for this kind of bomb. There were days when Elsa was feeling much better, and other days when it seemed as if Shelly had died just a week ago, and everything was raw and hopeless.
He’d almost shoved these letters in a drawer to worry about later. But it seemed mean to withhold her mother’s last gift.
“I’m not reading it tonight,” she announced, flipping the Elsa envelope onto the coffee table.
“Okay,” he said quickly. “That’s fine. Can you do me a favor, though?”
“Sure?”
“Tell me when you have read it? I’ll read mine too, then.”
“All right.” She handed the Mike letter back to him. “Yours is thin.”
“I noticed that.” He shoved it into the FedEx envelope for now. He had no idea what Shelly wanted to say to him. While Elsa had been too terrified to acknowledge Shelly’s imminent passing, he and his wife had already said their I’m sorrys and good-byes. What was there left to say? He was half afraid he’d only find a note inside that read: Don’t fuck this up.
And was it awful that he’d seen these envelopes and thought that it was just like Shelly to get the last word?
Whether Elsa was struggling with the contents of the letter, he couldn’t tell. She pointed the remote at the TV and pressed Play. “Let’s watch this thing.”
? ? ?
The movie was long and he found himself nodding off near the end. When his eyes fell closed, he drifted to the memory of the previous night. The win on the ice. And then the kiss on the sidewalk.
He hadn’t meant to kiss Lauren. But when he’d held her in his arms it just felt right. He’d never been as drawn to anyone on earth as he was to her. Hell. Hopefully she wasn’t too upset with him for making her talk to him again.
When the movie ended, he shut off the TV and followed Elsa upstairs, where they got ready for bed in their respective designer bathrooms.
His was on the third floor. The master suite was the least lived-in part in the house. There was plenty of furniture, but no pictures on the walls and no personal touches. He hadn’t turned the decorator loose on this floor, because nobody else ever saw it.
After brushing his teeth, he jogged back down one flight to say good night to his girl. She was in her bed already, but poking at her phone, which she put down guiltily when he came in.
“Good night, honey.” He sat down on the edge of the bed. “Tomorrow I’ll have training in the morning. But we can go out for dinner together later. “
“Okay. Can I pick the place?”
“Within reason.”
“Did you lock the doors?” Elsa was still a little weirded out by living in the city. She often asked about locking the doors.
“I sure did.”
“Hans isn’t coming home tonight?”
“Doesn’t seem like it,” he said quickly. “Probably crashing at Justin’s. The trains don’t run as frequently at night.”
Elsa rolled her eyes. “I know they sleep together, Dad.”
Yikes. He didn’t know what to say about that, and not because Hans was gay. What were thirteen-year-olds ready to hear about sex? He had no fucking clue. The fact that it was solely his job to successfully parent this child was beyond comprehension.
“Daddy?”
“Yeah?”
“Do you think it’s serious with Justin?”
“Uh . . . maybe?” Good answer, champ. Really eloquent. “Hans tells us a lot of funny little stories about the places he and Justin go, but he doesn’t really tell us how he feels about him.”
“I noticed that,” Elsa said, picking lint off her comforter. “But Hans wouldn’t spend so much time with someone unless he cared. I’m worried that he’ll leave us.”
“Ah.” Hell. He might. “Hans will leave someday no matter what, right? But he’ll always be our friend. You can still have him over for Thai food and orchestra gossip.”
“Mmm,” Elsa said, looking put out. “I don’t want him to go.”
“Why don’t we wait until he wants to go to worry about it? He has a pretty sweet deal here right now. He lives rent free with two people who are pretty great. Who would want to leave us?”
“True.” She smiled up at him.
“Hey, Els? Can I ask a favor?”
“Sure.”
“If you happen to, uh, run into Lauren again before the play-offs are over, can you just give her a smile?”
“Why?” Elsa made a face like she’d tasted something bitter.
“Because I’m asking you to,” he said quietly. “It’s not her choice to work with the team right now. But Nate asked her to step in because Becca is taking a temporary leave.”
“Becca is great, but I don’t like Lauren.”
Mike took the sort of calming breath that one takes while speaking to a teenager. “You don’t really know Lauren, honey. You haven’t seen her for two years. But she and I used to be close, and it’s important to treat her with respect. Maybe you’re not a fan of everything that happened when your mother and I were separated. But none of that is Lauren’s fault.”
“That’s not what I heard.”
His blood pressure notched up. “What?”
“Mrs. Chancer said Lauren stole you away from Mom. That she’s a sneaky little bitch who doesn’t know that karma is real . . .”
“Elsa,” he snapped, cutting her off, because he couldn’t stand to hear any more. Anger crackled through him, and he had to take another deep breath and remind himself that Elsa was only repeating what she’d heard from the hockey wife with a mouth the size of Long Island.
“That’s what she said.” Elsa defended herself. “And more.”
Shit. “Okay, listen to me,” he said as calmly as he could. “None of that is true. Lauren didn’t do a thing wrong. She was in no way responsible for the time that your mother and I spent apart. That was all me and Mom, okay?”
His daughter eyed him sulkily. “Then why did you leave in the first place?”
Mike closed his eyes and tried to think. He wasn’t going to throw his dead wife under the bus on this one. And they were both responsible for their shitty marriage, anyway. “Your mom and I had some troubles. I know you didn’t like it, but you don’t get to blame Lauren for it. Or . . .” It actually took him a moment to come up with the name of the tennis instructor. “. . . Tad. Or anyone.”
“I didn’t like Tad either.”
He smiled suddenly. That makes two of us. “You don’t have to like him. But you can’t be rude to him, and you can’t blame him for what happened. I mean it—be polite to Lauren. She’s important to me, and she doesn’t deserve any scorn from anyone.”
Elsa scowled. “Okay. Whatever.”
That was the best he was going to get from her tonight. That was obvious. So he kissed her on the forehead and told her to sleep tight.
Then he went up to bed alone, the way he always did.
ELEVEN
BAL HARBOUR, FLORIDA
APRIL 2016
Lauren flew to Florida with an extra suitcase full of dresses and accessories. Not only had she promised Ari some wardrobe assistance, but she was having a fashion crisis of her own, too.
Waiting at the baggage claim, she felt eyes on her back. When she turned around, Mike Beacon was watching her from across the room.