“I mean do you feel what it does? It’s not as painful as cutting, but I think this could work for the worst times. To relieve the pressure, you know?”
Her eyes water as she stares at me, and I half wonder if I’ve fucked up by bringing this up. She swallows audibly then clears her throat.
“Yeah. I think it would work,” she says in a rasp whisper as a tear falls from her eye.
I smile at her before changing out the ink, but she catches my hand before I can resume the process.
“Something wrong?”
She shakes her head before tugging at me, and I lean in to press my lips to hers. She doesn’t kiss me hard, but the kiss is one full of everything she feels, and I half consider fucking her in the reclining chair.
When I pull back, she nods at me, and I flash her one more smile before resuming shading in the eagle. It might sound crazy, but maybe this is why I learned to be a tattooist.
Life is a bitch, but sometimes that bitch knows what she’s doing.
Epilogue
MIKA
Ten years later…
“Aunt Mika! Make him stop!” Kayla squeals while wrapping her little arms around my leg.
At seven, she’s freakishly strong, because I can’t pry her off me enough to pick her up. Laughing, Chase lunges, but she squeals and buries her face in my leg as though that’s going to protect her.
He wrangles her off me with very little effort, and a shrill scream pierces the air when he tickles her. She finally dissolves into giggles when he stops, and she breathes out in relief before racing back toward the house.
She loves spending the summers with us.
Aidan is locked upstairs in his room with Whit. Never would have thought they’d end up together, but I couldn’t be happier they did. They gave me a beautiful, precious, sweet niece, after all.
We’ve added on to the house so everyone had their own rooms. Aidan and Whit only stay the summers here, and visit on holidays. Hunter and his wife have their own room, and their son has his own room as well. We’ll have to add on again if they pump out any more babies.
Chase grins at me as he comes to wrap his arms around my waist, tugging me to him as his lips brush mine.
“Ever wish we could have had children?” I ask as I wrap my arms around his neck.
He shakes his head rapidly, and I try not to laugh.
“I love her, but every time summer ends, I feel like I need to sleep for a month to rest.”
I can’t stop my laughter this time, and he waggles his eyebrows at me.
“Besides, I still like having you all to myself instead of sharing you. I’m selfish like that.”
“Oh?”
He nods, but just as he lifts me from the ground, a wet spray slams into us, and Chase groans while I snicker and run away from the spray of the garden hose. Kayla giggles wildly as Chase goes to snatch her up from the ground, even though he gets soaked in the process.
Smiling, I wring out my shirt around my waist then head inside to change while Chase deals with the little girl who is still squealing and giggling like she couldn’t be happier.
When I reach the bedroom, I pull my shirt over my head and toss it aside. My eyes flit to the mirror, and my gaze lands on the numerous colorful tattoos. Chase found a way to deal with the worst days, but instead of leaving behind scars, he leaves behind something beautiful.
The high from the pain isn’t as intense, but I was never chasing the high cutting gave me. It was always about the relief, and there’s just enough pain to relieve the pressure when it hits.
That’s thinking outside the box.
I get a little better every year, so the roughest times are few and far between. The best part is that I don’t have to live without emotions in order to actually live. I even get to hug my brother whenever I want to—when he’s here. I get to snuggle with my niece when they visit, and watch movies I haven’t seen.
Chase, of course, makes sure there’s no major cliffhanger ending that would result in a minor attack.
I’m in control. Well, we’re in control. None of this would be possible without Chase. I’d still be holding everyone at arms’ length and going through the motions of survival.
“Son of a—” Chase cuts his words off before he says something in front of Kayla’s small ear as he stumbles into the room. He closes the door behind him and locks it, and I hold back a laugh as he shakes his wet hair like a dog.
“She’s relentless,” he groans when Kayla starts knocking and calling out for him.
His eyes fall on me when I start laughing, and he licks his lips as he stares at some of his artwork. Kayla persists, pounding on the door, and I move closer to him until he grabs me at the waist and pulls me to him the rest of the way.
His forehead presses against mine, and I sigh happily while hugging him.
“Uncle Chase! Aunt Mika! We’re going swimming. Come on!” Kayla says while pounding the door.
“Yeah, Uncle Chase and Aunt Mika, let’s swim!” Aidan goads, laughing like the ass he is on the other side of the door.