Challenge accepted. I grabbed my glass of wine and sat back in my chair, awaiting the fireworks.
Poor Adam looked like he had just stumbled upon a den of rattlesnakes. He clearly knew that a war had been waged, and he didn’t want to give allegiance to one side and risk pissing off the other. And I didn’t blame him. He’d get verbally bulldozed by either of them.
“Lily told us you’re an architect?” Shane was trying to get the conversation rolling again. He couldn’t make a show of actively ignoring Amanda if she didn’t have an opportunity to speak.
“Uh, yeah.” Adam’s eyes were darting between Shane and Amanda. He may not have known either of them well, but he knew enough to understand that this was far from over.
“That’s interesting. What do you build?”
“Houses mostly. My crew is currently putting up a housing development about an hour from here.”
Shane nodded. “Guess we have that in common.” Adam looked perplexed so Shane continued, “Building. You build houses, and I build muscles. I imagine both are equally gratifying.” Shane’s lips twitched, and I wondered if anyone else noticed. His response sounded fairly douchey, and I guessed from his attempt to suppress a smile that it was intentional.
Well played, Shane. Amanda wouldn’t be able to resist a smartass comment after that pompous display.
“He’s also working on building quite an ego, Adam. I’d tell him to show it to you sometime, but, well he just did.”
There’s my girl, right on cue. I almost felt bad for taking such enjoyment in watching Shane play Amanda like a violin. But it wasn’t often that she found a worthy opponent, and I reveled in it.
“Umm, yeah, it’s pretty gratifying. I guess.” Adam picked up his wine and took a large drink.
“Oh, so you’re going to ignore me too, huh, Adam?” Amanda charged.
“No.” Adam sounded horrified. Exactly what he’d been trying not to do had happened. He’d made an enemy. “I didn’t . . . I mean, I wasn’t ignoring you. I just didn’t know how to respond to what you said.”
Adam looked to me for help, but I just shrugged. I figured he should get the full experience that my friends had to offer. That’s what I’d gotten from his flock of assholes. Plus, I thought of it like immersion therapy. I’d immerse him in the crazy and eventually he’d get used to it.
“So respond now. Shane here has quite an ego, don’t you think?”
I looked at Shane and watched him roll his tongue around his mouth. He’d underestimated Amanda. If he was going to ignore her, she’d have to outsource and drag someone else in who Shane couldn’t ignore. And Adam was that someone. Poor bastard.
“I don’t . . .” Adam looked around helplessly. “I don’t know him well enough to make that assessment.”
“Please,” Amanda said as she batted a hand in Adam’s direction. “Don’t be worried about hurting his feelings. He doesn’t have any. Answer the question, Adam. First impression of Shane and his ego: what was it?” Amanda was leaning on her arms, which were crossed on the table.
“I . . . I . . . Jesus Christ, you people are driving me insane,” Adam blurted out as he ran a hand over his face.
Shane and Amanda looked at each other and then burst out in howls of laughter. I couldn’t resist chuckling along with them, though I tried to tone it down for Adam’s sake. He looked completely frazzled.
Adam stared at the two of them for a minute before finally sighing deeply. “Glad you two find me so amusing.” One side of his mouth was turned up into a slight smile, which was appropriate because I could tell he was only half kidding.
Shane held up one of his hands and tried to rein in his laughter enough to respond. “Sorry, Adam. I know Amanda and I take a little getting used to.”
“Yeah, sorry, Adam. We get a little carried away sometimes,” Amanda added.
“Sometimes?” I asked skeptically.
“Okay, all the time,” Amanda conceded.
Shane served dessert and we chatted a bit more about nothing much in particular. Adam was nearly silent, obviously spent from his ordeal with the two of them. I figured I’d put him through enough, so after we helped clear the table, I spent a second talking to Shane, announced our departure, and we said our goodbyes.
Once we were tucked safely in the car, Adam turned to me. “Are they always like that?”
I shrugged. “Pretty much.”
“I don’t know how you hang out with them so much. I’m exhausted just from watching them argue.”
“You’ll get used to it,” I smiled.
“I doubt it. I’m going to need a month to recuperate before we hang out with them again. I should be good by the wedding.” He huffed out a laugh.
“You don’t have that long.”
“What do you mean?” He looked alarmed.
“I told Shane and Amanda we’d see them Wednesday. At CrossFit.”