Perilous Waif (Alice Long #1)

“I see. Do you think I’m worrying too much, then?”

“I think that if you were some sort of brainwashed assassin we would have noticed, Alice. We do check for these things, you know. It seems to me that you’re simply a practical young woman with a warrior’s courage, and perhaps a bit more emotional stability than most. But if you’re concerned, the wisest course is to keep close comrades at hand and listen to them if they tell you that you’ve begun acting strangely.”

“That makes sense. I guess my medical checkup would show if I was a psycho or something, wouldn’t it?”

“Indeed. Now, I’m pleased that you’re preparing properly for tomorrow, but take care that you don’t miss the obvious in your pursuit of subtleties. Have you considered what sort of gift to bring?”

“Gift?” I stared at him stupidly for a moment. I knew what he was talking about, of course, but guesting gifts were a noble custom. Why would a little nobody like me try to imitate a real lady like that?

Then I thought it through, and groaned.

“Crash, this is one of those status negotiation things, isn’t it? Lord Akio is inviting me to act like a lady, and if I can pull it off no one will be able to question it without slighting his judgment. But if I go in acting like I’m nobody, then I’m declaring that I don’t matter and anyone who wants to can pick me off just like I was an inugami or something. Thank you, sir. I didn’t even think of that.”

“Sometimes experience has its benefits,” he said. “You’ve already created some distance between us by bringing your own bodyguard to the palace. If we’re going to be here for a week or more you’ll need to establish your own role in this drama, or else our enemies will establish it for you.”

“Enemies, sir? I thought this was just a misunderstanding.”

“Anything is possible,” he said mildly. “But I wouldn’t count on it. I suspect someone believes that being the man who recovered the Yata no Kagami would bolster their chances of taking power here.”

I wrinkled my nose. “That old mirror?”

“That ‘old mirror’ is one of the three sacred treasures of ancient Japan, Alice. It means a great deal to traditionalists.”

“I guess it would. Well, I don’t know Lord Akio well enough to come up with something personally meaningful, and I’m certainly not rich enough to go for an impressive trinket. Do you have any ideas, sir?”

“A proper gift must be chosen by the guest,” he pointed out. “But I would suggest examining the customs of other colonies that were settled by survivors of Japan. There are thousands of them, and four hundred years of cultural evolution has produced many fascinating variations. I suspect you will find a suitable idea.”

I ran a datanet search, and sifted quickly through the results. He was right, there was an amazing amount of variation in how different colonies thought this kind of thing should be handled. A lot of it was surprisingly old, too. There was a huge explosion of variation in human cultures in the first century of interstellar colonization, when travel times were long and colonies had minimal contact with each other. Since the Masu-kai were all stuffy traditionalists I narrowed my search to customs that went back at least three hundred years, but that still left a lot to work with.

It was kind of funny, how almost all of these colonies claimed they were preserving the authentic traditions of ancient Japan. Even the historians didn’t seem to know who had it right, if anyone did. Had humanity really lost that much history in the Diaspora, and the long cycle of war that had left our homeworld a monster-infested wasteland?

Well, what mattered right now was that it gave me flexibility. I could go with any variation I wanted, as long as it was a few centuries old and didn’t clash with Masu-kai culture.

So, what kinds of things did people use as gifts? I needed something cheap, which usually meant informal, but not anything that implied intimacy. A contribution to the meal was a common idea, but breakfast was too early for alcohol. There was no way I was going to compete with Akio’s cooks, either, so forget any idea that involved making something myself. Maybe… oh! That was cool!

“I’ve got it, sir. Someone in this settlement is bound to have proper osuno.”

“Ah. Yes, that sounds like just the thing. Perhaps you can even find some exotic blend that appeals to an enhanced palate? But if you’re going to go for an evening stroll in the shopping district you’d best be careful.”

“Of course, sir.” I agreed. “I’ll bring Emla, and we’ll both go well armed and keep our eyes open. Um, should I talk to Chief West?”

“I’m afraid it wouldn’t do for Jim to escort anyone else during our stay,” he pointed out. “Nor would it be wise for our entire party to attempt to leave the palace at once. Perhaps you can find a vendor who will accept remote orders?”

“Like I can trust datanet ads in this place? No, I need to go in person if I’m going to know what I’m buying.”

“Then I shall leave you to prepare for your shopping.”

I checked the time. Already five, and I needed to eat before we could get going. Was I really about to wandering around a shady market in yakuza central at night? When the port registry said there were eleven pirate gangs, three slavers, four drug dealers and a flotilla of nomadic colony raiders in port? A pair of cute little girls would get eaten alive, wouldn’t they?

The captain put his hand on my shoulder. “Courage, Alice. This is far less dangerous than your last battle. Simply keep your wits about you, avoid trouble if you can, and act decisively if words fail you. You’ll find that you meet far less trouble than you might think.”

“Really? Why is that, sir?”

“Because you and Emla look far too much like a trap, Alice.”

I giggled. I guess he was right about that.

Naturally Emla wanted to fab up some heavy armor and a giant gun or two for the trip, but I had to veto that idea. We didn’t have the time, and besides I figured it would just make us look insecure. Instead I had her wear a professional-looking armored skinsuit in the local style, while I put together a variant of the look I’d used for the club back on Zanfeld. This time I added a knife to go with the pistol, and my gloves had electric stunners build into the knuckles just in case.

“Why are you bothering with those things?” Emla asked, as she checked her pistol. “If you’re that close to a normal person you could just crush their heart with your field or something, couldn’t you?”

“I might not want them dead,” I pointed out. “But mostly I want anyone who scans me to see some hidden weapons, so they think they know what to expect.”

“Gotcha. But what if that isn’t enough?”

Ash pulled his tail out of a power outlet, and hopped up into the couch next to her.

Guard! He declared.

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