“Why not you, Will?” Eddie snaps. “Do you even see how attractive you are? No, I guess you don’t, seeing as you keep hiding under clothes that are too big for your body and you go out of your way to downplay your beauty. You, Willow, are stunning, and if I have to drag you down South myself just so that Kane can help you realize that, I will, dammit!”
“Well said, Eddie!” Kirby exclaims and reaches out to slap his outreached palm in a high-five.
“This can’t be real. I can’t be … I can’t do … I can’t be that person he thinks I am.” I wheeze in panic.
“What exactly do you think he wants you to be?”
“Some sort of play toy? He’s known to be a playboy, Kirby. Whatever weird fascination he has with me will pass and I’ll be left to pick up the pieces. I’m not one of those perfect women who belong at his side. Oh God, maybe he wants me to be the other woman!”
“Just shut up!” Eddie snaps. “I’m so sick of you thinking you aren’t worthy. Honey, I get it. Kirby gets it. I used to be overweight too. You know I struggled with my self-perception for years, but Willow, you need to stop. I am so sick of watching you destroy yourself because you aren’t willing to see your worth. You’re stronger than that. You’ve come so far since that douchebag Brad.”
“He’s right,” Kirby interjects. “I might not have to deal with the body issues like you two do and have, but being on the smallest side of skinny, I’ve always had to deal with people laughing at me because I was so small. There isn’t just one way for a body to be for someone to have confidence issues, Willow. You don’t see how beautiful you are because you’re too busy hiding to avoid more pain.”
I wipe the tears that have begun burning down my cheeks and take in my two best friends. They’re right. I know they are. But I’ve also had years of behavior that is hard to shake just because I know they have a point. I’ve been in this position before when an attractive man paid attention to me, and I’ve been picking up the pieces since. It’s hard to trust the strength I’ve worked so hard to obtain and take a chance when it could cause me much more pain than Brad did. I have a feeling a man like Kane Masters would leave an emotional scar more painful than any physical marking if it went the same way as my last relationship.
“He’s met me twice, guys. Twice when I’ve been at some of my lowest of lows. How do you expect me to believe he saw something sexy enough to pursue during those times?”
Kirby smiles sadly. “Because, like us, he can see past all the bullshit and just see you. The Willow who is stunning inside and out. Let me ask you something. Can you honestly sit here and tell me that if you turn this opportunity down, you won’t regret it?”
No, I can’t, and she knows it.
“This whole situation is so far out of my comfort zone that I’m terrified down to my bones. He. Is. Terrifying.”
“Sweet Willow.” Eddie laughs. “Didn’t anyone ever tell you that life starts at the end of your comfort zone? When you break free of the fears that have held you back, you’re going to be free to fly, and that, honey, is when you’re going to find the happiness you deserve. But you have to start somewhere. You have to push that fear aside and just wing it—trusting you will never be alone should you fall.”
With a deep breath, I do just as Eddie suggested. Despite the fear clawing at my insides, I look at Kirby and tell her that I’ll be on that flight with her Monday. This is my chance to prove to myself that I’m not the weak Willow of my past. Take a chance, they say. Well, maybe they’re right. It’s time I take the last remnants of the old me and be the strong person I know I can be.
“Willow?” Eddie questions softly.
Turning, I look into his eyes. “Yeah?”
“You’ve come so far, honey. Promise me that you’ll try and look over those walls you’ve trapped yourself inside.”
I nod, not trusting my voice. Eddie reaches up and brushes the lone tear that trails down my cheeks. “I’m ready, Eddie. As scary as that is … I promise to go into this adventure with an open mind.”
“Even if that adventure takes you to Kane?” he asks softly.
I take a fortifying breath before speaking, a small smile playing across my lips. “Even if,” I promise.
I’m going to be sick with worry all week wondering if I’ve made a huge mistake, but they’re right. I would regret this if I said no, and maybe, just maybe, this is what I need to find some happiness.
I’M GOING TO BE SICK.