“Be careful with that one. Her bite is deadly,” I mumble heatedly toward him.
His eyes fire at mine before looking down at the woman in his arms. Apparently, he’s just noticing for the first time that she is wrapped around him like a little monkey. No, monkeys are cute. Snake. That’s it. Like the deadly snake she is.
I don’t give any of them another second of my time. I can feel the tears coming, but I refuse to let one drop in this room. I vaguely hear Ivy say something as I walk through the room and down the hallway. My silent, shoeless footsteps pad quickly and the tapping of Kirby’s heels follow right behind me.
Without a backward glance, I leave behind another part of my life that was slowly drowning me.
Six months earlier
The offices of Buchanan and Buchanan
I’M NOT EASILY ENAMORED WITH someone. In my line of work, a beautiful face is a dime a dozen, and usually, those beautiful faces hold nothing but vapor between their ears. It’s made the simplest of relationships all but impossible. The intrigue was missing. Nothing there was compelling enough to keep my attention past a quick glance.
I wouldn’t say I’m a saint, but I’m losing interest in meager exchanges of sweaty bodies and awkward good-byes. That dreaded period of holding my breath and waiting to see if our shared encounter would make it into the rags. Meeting someone when you’re a celebrity of my status has also been a big consternation for the last few years. Women want Kane Masters the icon and not Kane Masters the man. They couldn’t care less what makes me tick, what makes me happy, what goals I desire for my future. They want the status and money that comes with being on my side. The only future they can see is one I would have to pay for.
It’s been fifteen long years since I starred in my first lead role. Fifteen years of nothing but success that has no chance of slowing down anytime soon. I could stop making movies tomorrow and that success would never die. It used to be the only thing I wanted in life. Acting was my one and only aspiration. It was never a question of if I would become one of the most demanded names in Hollywood—it was always when. Two years after my first major motion picture role, I won my first Oscar. The year after that, another. Multiple awards followed. SAGs, Golden Globes, BAFTA—British Academy of Film and Television Awards—you name it; I hold it in a shiny case in the media room of my Malibu beach house.
But in all of that success, it’s become painfully obvious to me in the last couple of years that I was missing something in my life. The meaningless affairs dwindled down to nothing. The attraction to the women in my normal circles disappeared. I began to see them for what they were, and I’ve been struggling significantly with that.
I want companionship. I want a partner I can build a life with outside the insanity of my celebrity status. I want more for my future than bright lights around me.
Aside from my brothers, my few closest friends, and my parents, there really wasn’t anything left for me. I’ve begun to believe I would never find someone to fill the emptiness haunting me.
Bottom line—I’m lonely. Surrounded by millions and still the loneliest motherfucker around.
But I will never be lonely enough to settle for one of the vapid, fake women who surround my lifestyle. I want someone real. I need a challenge. I want to feel that connection to someone I’ve never been able to find. That one you read about. The one that makes you feel alive. Awakens you with just a glance. I know it’s out there because I felt it once before; a fleeting feeling gone just as quickly as it hit, but it’s out there … otherwise, the movies they pay me millions to create wouldn’t be instant blockbusters. Everyone dreams of finding that feeling. And until I find it, I’m afraid I’ll spend the rest of my days wandering around like a lost puppy.
Even my agent has noticed a change in my normally full throttled drive. I’ve slowed down on the circuit; taking fewer offered roles, I’m focusing more on producing and directing. If I’m quite honest, I’m not even sure acting is something I want to do anymore. The industry has lost its glamor; I know if I have any hopes of finding that life partner I crave and a chance at making my dreams a reality, being in the spotlight will blind me from the path to find those things.