“Oh my god,” Izzy said, shocked by the AstroTurf; the buildings looked like a computer simulation.
“Isn’t it wonderful?” Dr. Grind asked, and Izzy could only nod. It was a world unto itself, and Izzy understood now that this space would be her home for the next ten years. It was as if she had fallen through a rabbit hole, into an unexplored dimension, and, as the car pulled up to the huge main building, Izzy saw the people waiting on the steps, eight or nine people, some of them holding babies, waving as Dr. Grind stopped the car and turned off the engine.
“I need a second,” Izzy said. “I can’t go out there just yet.”
“Take your time,” Dr. Grind said. “It’s okay.”
Izzy unstrapped Cap from his car seat and lifted him into her arms. He started to nuzzle against her chest and she felt the contained heat of his body now against her own. She held him for a moment longer, and then she nodded to Dr. Grind. He got out of the car, came around to her door, and opened it. She took a tentative step onto the driveway and she could now clearly see the faces of the men and women, all so happy and so calm, waiting for her and Cap to join them. Dr. Grind put his arm around Izzy’s shoulders, like a cape of protection, and the three of them walked into whatever would come next, the family now complete.
chapter nine
the infinite family project (year one)
Izzy tilted her head and took a quick intake of breath before she returned to the water, her strokes heavy with intent though still lacking the perfect form she desired. She had been swimming for forty minutes, no breaks, going nowhere in the endless pool, which kept pushing her slightly back, forcing her to keep moving. She had never seen one of these pools before she arrived at the complex, the constant current letting you swim in place for as long as you wanted, but she had immediately taken to it. A swim instructor had come for a week, as if summoned by magic, to teach Izzy the proper strokes, since she’d only mastered a modified dog paddle from her time in public swimming pools. Now, it was how she greeted almost every morning, shaking off the sleep, or lack of sleep depending on the babies and their night patterns. It felt good, even though it was a losing battle, to struggle against the resistance and find herself stronger for it.
In the regular pool, standing in the shallow end and wearing weighted mitts, Asean churned the water around him. He was in his early twenties, in perfect shape, and he was Izzy’s only companion in the early mornings here at the pool. She waved, and he grinned and lifted a blue mitt in greeting. “Good morning,” Izzy said, and Asean simply nodded, listening to music on his waterproof MP3 player. She checked her watch; she had fifteen minutes before she was due in the nursery. She took a deep breath, willed herself to be happy. When she stepped outside, she tried so hard to keep the fear out of her facial expressions, wondering, as she did every day in this new world, if today was the day that she finally reached her limits, finally admitted that she could not live in this strange place.
It was June, not quite overwhelmingly humid, which would come in July and August, but warm enough that it felt distinctly like summer. And after the winter and rainy spring, Izzy was grateful to have more excuses to be outside. Her house was nice enough, sparsely decorated and furnished, though she sometimes counted down the minutes until she could leave it. It was strange that a lifetime of solitude, whether she wanted it or not, had now turned into a need to surround herself with other people. She knew why this was the case; it did not take scientific or psychological inquiry to find out. It was Cap; it was, truthfully, all the babies. Having them in her life, she felt slightly untethered from the world if she wasn’t actively participating in their lives. And when she was alone, it was so easy to doubt herself, to worry about the smallest mistakes, so she tried to attach herself to the other people in the complex. If she could observe them and compare herself in relation to their own ability to adapt to the complex, then she could ward off any signs of disaster.