My mom scowled at him. “I’ll stay here. You go.”
He pulled at her elbow, knowing that I wanted to speak to Harper in private. “No, come on, Cynthia. She’ll be fine here with Harper.”
My mother rolled her eyes but grabbed her purse. My dad winked at me. Thank you, I mouthed.
Harper continued to avoid my gaze as my mom and dad left the room, closing the door behind them. As soon as they were gone, I said, “You need to tell me what’s going on. Where’s Sam? Is he okay?”
Harper’s chest rose as she took a deep breath. She finally looked at me as she moved from the chair by the window to the one closer to my bed. “I don’t know, Grace. I really don’t. I’ve got Max trying to call him.”
“I don’t understand. He was here before, wasn’t he?” I was sure he’d been by my side before my leg had been reset. He’d kissed me on my forehead and held my hand and told me he loved me.
“Yeah, but when he’d seen you he told me that he had to leave.”
“Did he say when he was coming back?”
She shuffled her chair closer and clasped her hand over mine. “I’m sure he’ll be back soon. I think he’s feeling bad about the accident—guilty.”
Why would he be feeling bad? He hadn’t caused it. “It wasn’t his fault.”
“I know,” she said. “But you know how guys are. They like to think they control the universe.” She shrugged. “And they like to protect the people they love.”
And Sam only had Angie and me.
He was feeling bad, not guilty. The accident would have been a trigger for him, bringing back all the memories from when his parents died.
Shit. He would be hurting far more than I was. I needed to see him, to comfort him, make him feel better.
“His parents died in a car accident. It must have brought back some memories for him.” More memories. Connecticut had been hard enough. “Do you have my phone? I need to call him.”
“I don’t. Maybe Sam has it?”
“Harper, I need to see him. Tell him I’m okay. He’s hurting, and he doesn’t have anyone. I need to be there for him.” I needed to get discharged. I tried to pull myself up using the rails of the bed.
“What are you doing?” Harper asked.
“I need to find Sam.”
She stood up and pried my fingers off the bed. “Lie back. You’re not going anywhere. You’ve just been in a serious car accident and you should relax. Are you crazy?”
“Are you?” I asked her right back. “I love him, Harper. I need to find him.”
“He’ll be back. Just give him some time to cool off.”
Something deep in my gut told me that giving Sam time was the last thing I should be doing. If I knew Sam like I thought I did, he was shutting down. Shutting me out. He’d said he’d had no choice in how he felt about me, but what if the accident had changed all that?
“Have you seen my phone?” I asked Harper as she came back into the living room from putting the babies to bed. Harper had collected me from the hospital, insisting I go straight back to Connecticut with her as soon as I’d been discharged.
“Would you like a glass of wine now that you’re just on Tylenol?” In the three days since I’d last seen Sam, I kept expecting him to turn up, explain that he’d had to take delivery of the bed and take me from the hospital.
But he never came.
“Yeah, that would be nice, but have you seen my phone? I thought I had it right here.”
My purse, with my cell and wallet, had been returned to me in the hospital. I wasn’t sure how and I didn’t care enough to question it. I was just grateful to have it back, even if Sam wasn’t answering my calls.
“You think Sam’s phone was damaged in the crash? Maybe that’s why I can’t get through,” I asked as Harper handed me a glass of wine and my cell.
She shrugged. “Even if it was, why wouldn’t he have come back to the hospital?” Harper had stopped asking if I’d heard from him since we’d been back in Connecticut.
“It’s totally understandable that he needed a break from everything after the accident. It must have been a lot to take on considering what happened to his parents and the car crash. Don’t you agree?” I wanted to know he’d come back to me—I needed to know it was going to be okay.
“Do you need a hand?” she asked as I leaned forward.
My stomach lurched at her so obviously avoiding the question. Surely it was understandable that he would freak out. “No,” I said, pushing myself up. “I’m fine when I’m up. It’s just standing in the first place that’s hard. I’m not used to balancing on one leg.” I took a few tentative steps. “Walking on crutches has got to be good for my core, right?” I was trying not to just sit down all the time. The doctors had told me I was going to be in a cast for a couple of months, so I had to get on with my life. I’d hired a temp to keep the gallery open this week, but I wanted to be back at work on Monday.
“Who cares? I don’t have a core. My children ripped it from my body along with my dignity when I gave birth.”
I laughed and then swayed a little on my crutches. “Stop it. You love your girls.”
She grinned. “I do. But they need to understand the price I paid to have them.”
“The problem is when I’m hobbling on crutches, I can’t drink because I have no free hands.” I leaned on one of the kitchen stools by the counter and Harper brought my glass over and sat down. “You think he’s okay? He could have had an accident . . .”
“I don’t think he’s been in an accident, Grace, and neither do you, if you’re being honest.” She took a sip of her wine.
“You think he’s being an asshole?”
“It’s pretty weird that he’s left without so much as a word. And it’s been days. You’ve been discharged and he’s still not here for you.”
“He’s hurting.”
“Maybe,” she said. “But so are you. This accident could have been a lot worse.”
“But it wasn’t.”
“I just think you should prepare yourself for the fact that you may never hear from him again. He seems like he could be ghosting you.”
A stab of pain hit me in the chest.
“Are you okay?” Harper asked.
I nodded and steadied myself against the counter. She thought Sam’s silence was him walking away. Ending it. For good. I’d just assumed he was hurting and couldn’t share whatever he was going through with me. I’d expected that in a couple of hours or a few days, he’d come around. But I was getting impatient. And Harper clearly thought he wasn’t coming back.
The thought that I may never see him again, speak to him, touch him, kiss him—it was horrifying. I finished off my wine. “Can I get a top up?” I asked. It wasn’t possible, was it? He’d said he would try to build a future with me. That’s what I thought he’d said. He couldn’t, wouldn’t just walk away from that . . . would he?
“We’re happy together, Harper. Why would you think that he’d just disappear and never want to speak to me again?”