His mocking reply makes my shoulders tighten. “So?” I come to Mom’s defense instantly. “Her stripping paid our bills. It kept a roof over our heads. It paid for my dance classes.”
Sharp blue eyes focus on me. “Did she force you to strip when she got sick?”
“No. She never knew about it. I told her I was waiting tables, which was true. I did do that, and I also worked at a truck stop, but it wasn’t enough to pay all her medical bills, so I stole her ID and got a job at one of the clubs.” I sigh. “I don’t expect you to understand. You’ve never had to worry about money a day in your life.”
“No, I haven’t,” he agrees.
I’m not sure if I move first, or if he does, but we’re walking again. A few feet of distance stretch between us at first, but as we walk, we get closer and closer until our bare arms are brushing with every step. His skin is warm, and my arm prickles each time we make contact.
“My mother was kind,” he finally reveals.
That’s what Callum said, too. I think of the woman that Steve married—Dinah, the awful shrew who has naked pictures of herself all over her home—and I wonder how two friends could have married such dramatically different women.
“She cared about people. Too much, maybe. She was a sucker for a sob story. She always went out of her way to help people.”
“Was she good to you? And your brothers?”
Reed nods. “She loved us. She was always there for us, giving advice, helping with our homework. And every day she’d spend alone time with each of us. I guess she didn’t want any of us to feel neglected or like she had a favorite. And on the weekends we’d all do stuff together.”
“Like what?” I ask curiously.
He shrugs. “Museums, the zoo, kiting.”
“Kiting?”
He rolls his eyes at me. “Flying a kite, Ella. Don’t tell me you’ve never done that.”
“Nope.” I purse my lips. “I did go to a zoo once, though. One of my mom’s boyfriends took us to this shitty petting zoo in the middle of nowhere. They had a goat and a llama and this little monkey that threw poop at me when I walked by.”
Reed throws his head back and laughs. It’s the sexiest sound I’ve ever heard.
“And then it turned out the zoo was a front for a drug dealing operation. The boyfriend was just there to buy weed.”
Neither of us comment on the drastic differences in our childhoods, but I know we’re both thinking about it.
We keep walking. His fingers graze mine. I hold my breath, wondering if he’s going to take my hand, but he doesn’t, and the disappointment is too much to bear.
I stop in my tracks and meet his eyes. Not a good idea, because I know he can see the longing on my face. It causes his gaze to grow shuttered, and I bite back my frustration.
“You like me,” I announce.
His jaw tics.
“You want me.”
Another tic.
“Dammit, Reed, why can’t you just admit it? What’s the point in lying?”
When he doesn’t answer, I whirl around and march off, my bare feet kicking up sand. Suddenly I’m yanked backward, and my shoulders collide with a solid male chest, stealing the breath from my lungs.
Reed’s chin comes down to rest on my shoulder, his lips millimeters from my ear. “You want me to say it?” he whispers. “Fine, I’ll say it. I want you. I fucking want you.”
I feel the hard length of him pressing against my butt and I know he’s not lying. As a thrill shoots up my spine, Reed twists me around and his mouth crashes down on mine.
The kiss is hot enough to turn the Atlantic into lava. My lips part and he slides his tongue past them, devouring my mouth in greedy strokes that leave me breathless. I cling to his broad shoulders, then slide my hands down to his trim waist.
He groans and cups my bottom, rotating his hips so I can feel every inch of him. Then, after one more drugging kiss, he releases me and staggers backward.
“I’m leaving for college next year,” he says hoarsely. “I’m leaving, and chances are I’m never coming back. I’m not selfish enough to start something I can’t finish. I’m not gonna do that to you.”
I don’t care, I want to say. I’ll take him any way I can, even if it’s for a short time, but I don’t voice the words, because I know they won’t sway him.
“Let’s go back to the house,” he mumbles when my silence drags on.
I follow him without a word, my lips still tingling from his kiss, my heart still aching from his rejection.
* * *
I’m just drifting off to sleep when my bedroom door creaks open. I groggily lift my head. Within seconds I’m wide awake.
Reed climbs into bed beside me. He doesn’t say a word. The room is too dark, so I can’t see his expression, but I can feel the warmth of his body as he slides closer. The heat of his palm as he strokes my cheek before grasping my chin and tilting my head toward his.
“What are you doing?” I whisper.
His voice is pained. “I decided to be selfish.”
Happiness explodes in my chest. I wrap my arms around his neck and pull him closer. His lips hover over mine, but he doesn’t kiss me.
“Just for tonight,” he tells me.