Then Cade looked at me. “Truce expired?”
“Yep.” I could do this. I could go back to ignoring him again when all I really wanted to do was ask him if he got in trouble with his parents Friday night after the hotel incident. If his stepdad got kicked out of the golf club. If he was doing okay.
He backed slowly away from the car and my mom rolled up the window as she pulled away.
“I have no idea what you have against that young man, Lil,” Mom said, “but it needs to stop.”
I nodded. “It’s stopped.”
I showed up at Isabel’s house half an hour later. I’d thrown on a black T-shirt to symbolize what, I wasn’t sure. When she opened the door though, her expression was one I didn’t understand—guilt mixed with sadness mixed with something like hope.
“I’m sorry,” she said.
“What? Why?” My right eye started to twitch. What was she going to confess to now?
“I read them. I shouldn’t have. They were private. But I did.”
I let out a breath. “Iz, I didn’t know it was him when I was writing them.”
“I know.” She took me by the hand and led me to her room where all my letters were stacked neatly on her desk. “We can’t burn these.”
“What? But I wore black.”
She laughed. “These letters, Lil … It’s no wonder you fell for him.”
“I didn’t … ” I started to protest, but I couldn’t lie. “I know.”
“But he doesn’t know he’s been writing you?”
“No.”
“He thought that was Sasha?” She pointed at the letters.
“I’m pretty sure.”
“Then he’s an idiot. Those sound nothing like Sasha. Those letters are so you. He fell for you.”
A lump formed in my throat. “He didn’t fall for me.”
“It sure seems like he did.”
“Even if that were true, which it’s not, it doesn’t matter. I’m choosing you. I’m choosing us. I wore black.”
She smiled and pulled me into a hug. “Can I tell you something?”
“Of course.”
“I was always jealous of you and Cade.”
I pushed away from her so I could see her face. “Jealous? Of our fighting?”
“Yes. He’d get more passionate discussing something you did than anything we’d ever done or talked about. I never told you that I always kind of thought you two had a connection you both refused to admit to.”
“Iz.” I could tell what she was doing and I didn’t want her to feel like she had to do this.
“Hear me out.” She picked up the letters and placed them gently into my hands. “I want this for you.”
I smiled. “I love you for that, but he doesn’t want me, he wants her. The girl from in here.” I held up the letters. “Or at least he used to. He stopped writing and I have no idea why. Maybe because he thought she was Sasha. I don’t know.”
“Then tell him you’re her!”
“I’m scared.”
“If you don’t try, you’ll always wonder.”
“Isabel … ”
“Please, Lil.” She looked me in the eye. “I’ve been selfish. I never had him. Never all the way. I tried to blame that on you, but it wasn’t you. It was us. Me and Cade. We weren’t right for each other. But you two … ” She placed her hands on the outside of mine, which were still holding the letters. “You two would … What was that he said in one of the letters? Balance each other perfectly? Something like that? Anyway, I agree with him. You would. You do. Lily, give this a chance.”
Her plea was so sincere, so heartfelt, that all I could do was say, “I’ll think about it.” And “Thank you.”
When I went into my room later that night, something was on my pillow. The first thought I had was that Jonah had been in my room again messing with my stuff. But that wasn’t it. On my pillow sat the newspaper clipping for the song-writing contest, flattened as best as possible.
“Don’t give up,” Ashley said from behind me. “I’m sorry I’ve been so hard on you.”
I turned to see my sister in the doorway, my brothers’ heads peeking out from behind her.
“Did you guys do this?” I asked.
“You’re good, Lil,” Ashley said. “You can do it. You just need to believe in yourself.”
I picked up the newspaper clipping to reread the contest entry deadline and a glint of silver caught my eye. Beneath the clipping, there in the middle of my pillow, was money. A stack of bills and some change.
“I know it won’t cover the whole cost of a new guitar,” Ashely said, “but it’s a start.”
“I put the quarters in,” Jonah said proudly.
I couldn’t speak. A hot trail of tears spilled out of my eyes. My siblings came in the room and wrapped me in a group hug.
“I love you guys,” I said through a sob. “Thank you.”
“We’ve missed music around here,” Ashley said.
“You guys are the best.”
“We know,” Wyatt said.
“What’s that smell?” Ashley asked.
Jonah giggled.
“Ew!” Ashley broke free of the hug, dispersing us all, and chased Jonah out of my room to loud shrieks. I had the best family in the universe.