Grabbing a rag, she pulled the boiling potatoes off the burner and wiped away the water. “I hope I didn’t burn them,” she said as she looked into the pot.
“I think you’re good, babe. Just lower the temp and put them back on.” Picking up the lid from the counter, he smiled at her. “Use this.”
“Maybe I should have you making dinner,” She took the lid from him. “Thanks, sweetie.”
“Did you go to the doctor today?” He took one of the mini carrots she had in a bowl and chomped down on it.
“Yeah. We can talk about it later. I have to concentrate right now. Why don’t you relax and watch TV? Dinner will be ready soon.”
Axe hesitated for a moment then went into the family room. He glanced over at her while she rushed around the kitchen, streaks of red painting her face from the heat of the stove and oven. He’d thought it was a little odd she didn’t tell him what the doctor said, but then, it was her first big dinner from scratch in over a year. He’d decided that even if the chicken was dry as a bone and the potatoes watery, he’d tell her it was decent. The fact that she was trying so hard hit him and pleasure and warmth spread through him.
A few hours later, he had Baylee snuggled in his arms, a fire snapping in the fireplace, and a comedy in the DVD player. Dinner had been surprisingly good and Baylee had kept beaming with each additional helping he’d taken.
He dipped his head down and kissed her hair. “You seem like you’re feeling better.”
“I am. I love this movie, don’t you?”
“Yeah. What did the doctor say? Was it the flu like you suspected?”
“No. This part here is real funny. I’ve seen When Harry Met Sally a zillion times, but it still cracks me up.”
Staring at her, he noticed she purposely avoided him, her eyes glued to the screen. She’s not telling me something. “What did the doctor say?”
“Axe, I’m trying to watch the movie. Don’t you want to see it? We can talk later.”
With the remote in hand, he hit Pause and set it down on the couch next to them. “What’s going on?”
Without looking at him, she answered, “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Did the doctor tell you something bad?”
“No. Just something unexpected.”
“What do you mean?”
Still staring at the frozen actors on the screen, she said softly, “I’m pregnant.”
Did she say pregnant? What the fuck? He tried to grasp what he thought he’d heard. Silence snapped between them. “What did you say?”
She pulled away from him and tucked her legs underneath her. “I’m pregnant.”
Fuck. That is what she said. “How?” Axe shook his head when she rolled her eyes. “I mean, aren’t you on the pill?”
“Yeah, but I still got pregnant.”
“Did you forget to take it?”
“No. It’s not foolproof, you know. Addie said the same thing happened to her and Chas with Hope.”
“But we talked about kids and decided we didn’t want them. Fuck.”
“I know. I didn’t plan this, Axe. It just happened.”
“How did you let it happen?”
Baylee narrowed her eyes. “Me? You’re responsible for this too. And if you wanted to make extra sure, you should’ve worn a condom.”
“Are you nuts? I’d never wear a rubber with my old lady.”
“Well, there you have it. Don’t you dare blame me for this.”
“It’s just that we didn’t want kids. Fuck. I don’t know what to say.”
Baylee’s chin trembled. “You could say you’re happy and give me a fucking hug.”
Axe knew that’s exactly what he should do, but he wasn’t happy about it. The shock of her pregnancy shook him to his core. Thoughts looped around in his mind until there was no room for anything else. Thoughts of the unknown: how will it be with three instead of two, would he be a good dad, how would it affect their sex life.
Baylee jumped up from the couch. “I didn’t expect this either, but that’s the way life turns out sometimes. I have our baby growing inside me, and when I think of it that way, I’m happy. You’re acting like a first-class asshole!” She rushed down the hall toward their bedroom. The slamming door echoed around him as he sat there unable to move.
I don’t know jack shit about being a dad. I had a shitty one. His dad was never the father he needed him to be. Axe had always known him to be a cold and heartless person. Ever since he could remember, his mother and father communicated through fighting. To him, it seemed like they brought out the very worst in each other, each of them backing up the other’s vices like they were virtues. Boozing, gambling, and cheating consumed the household, and at a young age, he was left to fend for himself emotionally. The only thing he could count on when he was growing up was that neither of his parents would be there for him. They were too busy worrying about themselves. Thinking back on it, the only thing they’d had in common was their selfish streaks.
What if I’m like my parents? My dad split when I was nine, and he never contacted me again. How the fuck does a father do that? What if I do the same shit? How the hell could Baylee be pregnant? Damn! I never thought this would happen. Instead of happiness, anxiety, apprehension, and dread twisted his insides. He knew he should go to Baylee, hold her close, rub his hands down her back, and tell her it would be all right, but he couldn’t. A large part of him wanted the status quo. He didn’t want a baby coming between him and Baylee. They’d fallen into a rhythm and he loved it. With a kid around, they couldn’t be as free to love and fuck whenever and wherever they wanted, and he wasn’t sure he liked changing those dynamics.
All of a sudden the room grew hot and suffocating like the walls were closing in on him and he couldn’t breathe. He couldn’t sit there anymore. He had to move around, breathe in some cold air, and get the hell away. Grabbing the car keys, he opened the front door and took the elevator to the parking garage. He backed the car out and headed to the clubhouse. He needed to have some shots, talk shit with the brothers, shoot some pool, and not think about anything. He needed a sliver of his old life back.
When he walked inside, the brothers yelled out his name, surprise registered on many of their faces to see him mid-week at that hour in the club. A few of the club girls waved at him, their faces lit up with huge grins.
“How’s it going?” Cruiser asked as Axe came over to the bar.
“Good. I thought you were working at Dream House during the week.” Axe picked up the shot Skinless placed in front of him.
“I am, but I traded nights with Helm. He’s got some shit going with his girlfriend on Sunday, so I’ll work for him. Is your ol’ lady tied up tonight?”
Axe shook his head. “No. Just needed some fresh air and my brothers. Wanna shoot some pool?”
“You got the money to pay when you lose your ass?” Helm chuckled, picked up his drink, and ambled to the back of the room. “I’ll rack them up. Solid or stripes?”