I refuse to look at him the entire time we’re sitting there in that courtroom. The only things I care about now are moving on with my life, him being sentenced and locked away, and trying to forget that I was ever na?ve enough to believe what we had was true love.
What a freaking joke.
Laney reaches over to link her arm through mine as we walk out of the courtroom after Brad’s sentencing, confirming he’ll be in jail for a minimum of eight years.
“You holding up okay, sweetie?”
Part of me doesn’t know how to answer her because if she’s referring to Brad, then yes. If she’s referring to her brother, that would be the complete other end of the spectrum.
A firm hell, no.
Laney and the rest of the group made it a point to show up today, to offer their support by just being here for me. I’m not even sure how Kane, Miller, Doc and Lee managed to finagle their schedules to be here, but they did. And it makes it even more difficult knowing I’ll be leaving these incredible people behind, not getting to see them every day at work and often be included in their affectionate banter.
There was one person who didn’t show up, of course. I swore I felt his presence at one point, but when I didn’t catch sight of him, I realized I was being delusional. I’m caught between being grateful he didn’t and … both surprised and hurt that he hadn’t shown up.
Guess I really don’t matter to him after all.
As we step outside the courthouse, they all gather around me, and I thank everyone for stopping by and supporting me. As most of them begin to leave, waving their goodbyes, Laney steers me off to the side with her, while my eyes drift over the crowd of people exiting the courthouse, down the steps that head to the large parking lot.
“Looking for someone?”
My heard jerks to Laney. “No.”
Of course, she knows I’m lying. With a small smile tinged with sadness, she tips her head to the side. “He was here, you know.”
Shock reverberates through me, but I say nothing, knowing I won’t be able to manage words without my throat closing up on me. I can’t talk about Foster. It just hurts too much.
“He left just before us. I sent him a text to see why he didn’t wait for us to walk out, but he said he didn’t want to upset you.”
All I can do is offer a short nod in response. “Thanks, Laney, for everything.” I squeeze her hand affectionately. “I’ve got to get going.”
“Call me if you need anything, okay?”
“Okay. Thanks, again.” I turn away to make my way out of the courthouse and down the steps to the parking lot where my car is waiting.
And the entire time, I swear I can feel him watching me. I don’t look, can’t bear to, but I know he’s watching me get into my car. He’s probably doing it out of some weird sense of duty or obligation, but he doesn’t realize it hurts me even more. Makes me feel like I’m unable to escape him—escape this hold he still has on me.
It’s then I know I did the right thing by resigning. It’s the only way I can possibly try and move on from this.
But how do you move on from someone who has your heart and won’t give it back?
Chapter Fifty-Seven
Foster
“You’re a fucking creeper, Kavanaugh,” I berate myself as I sit in my truck, watching Noelle make her way to her car, the slight breeze tousling her blond hair. Even behind those dark sunglasses of hers, I know her eyes are weary after what went on in that courtroom. She hadn’t looked over at Brad once, had sat there, spine straight and regal even as I knew she hated being there.
There was no way in hell I was going to miss being there—even if she didn’t want me to be. Regardless of what happened between us, I didn’t want her to be in that asshole’s presence without me around in some vicinity. I hadn’t told anyone I was planning on showing up—aside from my sister, of course. She had bombarded me with text messages last night.
Laney: I’m texting because if I call you, I’ll only start yelling at you for hurting Noelle. You’re an asshole, by the way. I still love you but you ARE an asshole. So. Are you coming tomorrow?
Me: To the courthouse? Yes, I’ll be there.
Laney: You going to try and talk to Noelle?
Me: No.
Laney: Still have your head up your ass, I see.
Letting out a long sigh, I shake my head. I’m working on pulling it out.
Laney: That sounds decidedly gross and sexual. Yuck.
A weak smile formed as I read my sister’s text. Laney McBrainy. You’re a perv. You know what I meant.
Laney: Fos, hurry up and get your head out of your ass. Please. I want the happy Noelle back and I want my brother back.
Frowning, I typed, What do you mean? I’m here.
Laney: I’m going to call you. I think I’m calm enough now.
Before I knew it, the screen of my phone lit up, my sister’s name flashing.