Hearing the shower turn on, I lean back against the door with my eyes closed, attempting to regain some sense about things—about myself. The waters are getting muddy with what Noelle and I are doing.
I’m feeling thrown off, like back in Survival Evasion Resistance Escape school—where we were dropped off, individually, in the middle of nowhere, and hunted by the “enemy.” It sucked balls but it was necessary; the point being to understand what it might resemble to end up somewhere, alone, and only reliant on yourself for survival in unfamiliar enemy territory. Right now, I’m navigating lands unknown, doing things I’ve never done before and I’ve got to figure out how to survive without getting my ass handed to me. Which means only one thing.
I need to end this now.
Walking toward the bathroom where I hear Noelle humming softly while she showers, something tightens in my chest. Pushing open the door to the bathroom, I step in and watch her through the glass shower door, the water running slickly down her curves. This is it. This is the last time I’ll see her like this.
The shower door slides open. I need to remember this—the way she looks, her lashes wet, hair against her scalp—so beautiful and perfect.
She crooks her finger at me with that sparkle of naughtiness in her blue eyes along with a mischievous grin and I make the firm choice right then.
I’ll need a little longer with her. Just a little longer.
Chapter Forty-Eight
Noelle
We’re lying on my couch, his hard, firm body beneath mine as I lie atop him, my head against his chest with the soothing sound of his heartbeat beneath my ear while we watch television. One of his arms is wrapped around me—not too tight, but just tight enough—and I really like this. If I could press record for any moments in my life, this would be one of them. The comforting way he holds me feels like it heads straight to my heart. When he presses his lips against my hair, it takes everything in my power to resist letting out what I know would be a long, girly sigh.
“I didn’t realize you were so adept at cuddling,” I remark quietly.
“I’ll have you know, I’m well-trained at cuddling. It’s taken me years to perfect this.”
“I’ll bet.”
He draws back in mock dismay. “You have complaints about my cuddling?”
Shaking my head, I murmur, “No. It’s pretty nice.” Then, I teasingly continue, “Could be addictive, Kavanaugh.”
“Then I’ll just have to be your supplier,” comes his husky reply. Wait a minute. Did he—? Oh, holy shit. He did.
Well, kind of. He kind of admitted he likes this, too. Enough to be my snuggling “supplier.”
“Don’t overthink it, Davis.”
His quick mind-reading comment makes me smile against his shirt, closing my eyes for a brief moment and just let myself imagine. Imagine what it would be like if this could be a constant in my life. If my life included some sense of normalcy, no crazy people popping up, a guy who actually cared for me and wasn’t opposed to being in a relationship. Imagine coming home from a crazy day at work to let out one of those tired sighs and curl up with Foster like this in front of the television. Simple. No frills.
Perfect.
Swallowing tightly with regret at all the possibilities that couldn’t actually be, I turn my focus back to the show we’re watching. This is plenty. It’s good enough for me.
Right?
*
“Hey, Cottonmouth,” Foster calls out and I can barely refrain from rolling my eyes at his Kill Bill movie reference. “Where is the file with the renewal for the—”
“You mean the renewal for the Jacksonville International Airport?” I suggest sweetly. “You mean the one I laid on your desk not five minutes ago and told you—specifically—I was setting it there?”
His eyes narrow. “That’s enough lip from you.”
That’s not what you’ve said before. Especially not the other night, I think smugly to myself.
“You two kids need to be put in time-out?” Miller offers, amused.
“No,” Foster and I both answer in unison, our eyes darting over to stare at each other in surprise.
“Whatever,” Miller mumbles before rising from his desk while grabbing his keys. “I’m off, boss,” he says to Foster. “Probably won’t get finished with this site’s training until much later so I’ll see you tonight.”
“I’ve got to meet up with the head of security at the Port Authority in an hour, and then I’ll be heading down to assist Kane with the class he’s teaching on unarmed combative skills.”
“Roger that. See you two later.” Once Miller exits, the door falls closed behind him. With only me and Foster remaining, it feels like there’s an electrical charge in the room.