My instincts take over. I walk steadily back into the bedroom, collect my things together, shove them into my holdall and leave the room.
I don’t know where I’m going. I don’t know what I’m going to do. All I know is that running isn’t going to make things any worse this time. If I stay, I’m doomed to the same fate that I could possibly, just possibly, get away from. It sounds crazy, but that thought pops into my head again: the desire to up sticks and disappear, embracing my free spirit. In this moment, I know I will never truly be free, but right now the only option I have is to try.
My legs feel like jelly as I descend the stairs. I can hear the blood pulsing in my temples and feel my heart trying to burst through my chest. Everything else appears to be silent. I can’t even hear my footsteps on the floor, nor can I feel them. Everything is numb. It’s almost as if I’m cocooned, unable to take in any sort of external stimuli. As I push open the door to reception and head for the exit, the sound of Jessica’s voice bursts through my bubble and yanks me back into reality.
‘Dan? Is everything okay?’
I just look at her, unable to say anything. I can see that she’s spotted something in my eyes as they well up, the tears clouding my vision as I blink furiously to hold them back. I manage it.
‘Fine,’ I say.
‘Are you sure? Where are you going with all your stuff?’
‘I have to go,’ I say. ‘I need to check out.’
‘You’re not due to check out until tomorrow,’ she says, almost as if I’ve somehow got the days muddled up – silly me – but with more than a hint of concern in her voice, too. ‘You don’t look well, Dan.’
‘No, I feel ill,’ I say, hoping this somehow explains everything. ‘Sorry, I have to go.’
I pick up my bag and head for the exit, my hand fumbling in my pocket for my car key as I walk quickly in the direction of where I parked. My head’s pounding and I can’t even remember what my car looks like. Did I even drive here?
Before I can answer any of those questions, there’s a hand on my shoulder. Jessica.
‘Dan, what’s wrong? What’s happened?’ she says, a real look of concern in her eyes now.
‘I’m sorry,’ I reply. It’s all I can think to say. I kiss her on the forehead.
I press the unlock button on my car’s key fob and walk over to where I heard the bleep and saw the lights flashing. Jessica’s still trying to talk to me as I open the boot and throw my bag in, closing it before I walk round and climb into the driver’s seat. Before I get there, Jessica’s opened the passenger door and got in.
‘What are you doing?’ I say.
‘I don’t know, but I’m not letting you go like this. Something’s not right, Dan. Tell me. I’m not taking no for an answer.’
I sit in silence, staring through the windscreen for what seems like an age. Suddenly, it feels like I’ve got all the time in the world to work out my reply, almost as if the solitude of the car has provided some sort of barrier. I know I need to tell her. She’ll find out in a few hours anyway, but she should at least know that I’m innocent. The police won’t believe a word she says, but I hope that at least she will know. Someone needs to know.
‘My wife. Lisa. She’s here.’ All that time sat silently and that’s the best I can come up with.
‘Here?’ she replies. ‘Where?’
‘In my bathroom.’
‘I’m not sure I understand.’
‘She’s lying in my bathtub. Dead.’
Jessica just sits looking at me. I’m still looking straight ahead, but I can feel her eyes burning into the side of my face.
‘Dan, what happened?’ she whispers.
‘I don’t know. I came back up to my room after dinner and she was lying there. I swear.’
‘But how? How did she get in there? How did she die?’
‘It looks like she was strangled.’
Jessica takes her eyes off me for the first time. ‘Jesus, Dan. We need to call the police.’
I sigh. ‘We can’t. They’ll think it was me.’
‘Why would they?’ she says. ‘You were down in the restaurant. If it wasn’t you, you can prove it. They have forensics and stuff. If you didn’t do it, what’s the matter?’
‘I can’t explain,’ I repeat.
‘I really can’t get my head round this,’ she says. ‘This is crazy.’
‘Tell me about it.’
She puts her hand on my upper leg. ‘Dan. Look at me. Look me in the eye and tell me you didn’t kill Lisa.’
‘I told you, I didn’t. I just came back up to my room and—’
‘I need you to look me in the eye and tell me, Dan. It’s important.’
I do as she says. Her eyes look lost, hopeful and desperate.
‘I didn’t do it.’
She closes her eyes and nods, then puts on her seatbelt. ‘Start the car.’
7
Before I even know where I’m going, I’ve put the car in gear and I’m driving out of the car park, my tunnel vision focused dead straight ahead of me.
‘Head for town,’ Jessica says, pointing out over my front-right headlight.
‘Why? Where are we going?’
‘As far away as possible,’ she says, ‘but we’ll need money. The banks will still be open if we’re quick.’
‘What about an ATM?’ I ask, my head filling with a mixture of a fog of confusion and the screaming of a thousand violins.
She just looks at me. ‘How far’s three hundred quid going to get us? We need to be able to go into the branch and withdraw as much as we can. What’s your bank’s limit?’
Right now I don’t even know my name. ‘I dunno. I’ve never asked.’
‘Which bank are you with?’
‘Lloyds.’
‘There’s one on the High Street,’ she says. ‘Keep going and I’ll show you.’
I try to start to make sense of my thoughts. ‘Should we not be getting as far away as possible? I don’t feel comfortable staying around here.’
Jessica smiles and chuckles slightly. ‘You need to try to keep a level head. No-one’s going to know about Lisa until tomorrow mid-morning at the earliest. That’s when the maid service will be up to clean the room. We’ve got, what, eighteen hours? We can be on the other side of the world by then. Let’s take our time, think this through and stay calm.’
Now it’s my turn to laugh. I can’t help myself.
‘What? What are you laughing at?’ she says.
‘You. How can you stay so calm? The wife of a bloke you’ve known a couple of days is lying murdered in a hotel room and you decide to jump in the car with him and escape to God knows where.’
She’s silent for a couple of moments before she speaks, whispering, ‘I trust you.’
‘I wouldn’t trust me.’
‘Why not?’
I shake my head. ‘It doesn’t matter.’
We drive in silence for the next minute or so, weaving slowly through the traffic, towards the High Street, before Jessica speaks again.