Only the Rain

“They’re sleeping right now,” I tell her. “Did Cindy call you?”

“We thought you could maybe use a hand with the girls.”

It didn’t sound at all like Cindy to ask her mother to come help me out. I’d called her after we left the doctor’s office, told her about the tonsillectomy in our future, but it was a short conversation because she was working behind her teller’s window. About an hour after that I got a text from her that said, You need anything? Dani okay? And I texted back, Everything fine. Going camping in the living room.

And then it hit me. Janice is one of those people who goes to the doctor twice a week or so to get whatever kind of prescription she can wangle. I’m fairly certain she patronizes a couple of different doctors and a couple of different pharmacies. Today was probably her day for the Med Express.

I told her, “We’re good, thanks. I’d rather not disturb their nap.”

“Can’t we come in and take a peek at them? It’s been a long time since Donnie’s even seen them.”

“I bet they’ve grown like weeds,” he said.

I didn’t give him any reaction, didn’t even turn my eyes to him. To Janice I say, “Can I talk to you a minute?” And I hold the door open just enough that she can squeeze inside. The second she’s over the threshold I close the door behind her.

“What’s wrong, honey?” she says.

“Look. Cindy doesn’t want him anywhere near this place. She told me that straight out.”

She clicked her tongue. “I wish I knew what in the world she has against him. He’s her father, for God’s sake.”

I said nothing to that, so she looked up at me and asked, “Why is she so mad at him all the time?”

“You’d know that better than me,” I said.

She scowled and shook her head, as if the whole situation was beyond her comprehension. “He used to be overly critical sometimes, I know. But he’s not that way anymore.”

“I think maybe the problem was bigger than that.”

“There’s nothing else to it,” she said. “She makes things up, is all. She always has.”

“I’ve never known her to make anything up.”

“Well she’s going to have to get used to this situation. He’s going to be around now. He’s part of the family.”

“Janice,” I told her. “Let me put it to you this way. You’re always welcome here. But if he so much as ever sets foot inside this house again, I’m going to punch him in the face.”

That was probably the first time all morning her eyes came all the way open. Then she blinked at me a couple times. I sort of felt bad when she started to tear up, because I’m not usually the kind of guy who says things so bluntly. But then she turned away and jerked open the door and stepped out to him, giving him just enough time to look at me with a hurt and puzzled expression on his face before she took him by the arm and yanked him around.



That evening, my camping buddies and me picked up Cindy at the bank. I could tell by the way she came striding across the parking lot that she was seriously ticked off about something. She glared at me when she climbed in, then turned off the look long enough to smile at the girls in the seat behind us and ask, “My baby girls doing okay?” After she talked to the girls a minute or two, she hit me with that glare again.

“So how was your day?” I asked her as I was pulling out into the traffic.

“I need to stop at the store and get some Jell-O,” she said.

“I think there’s a couple boxes in the cupboard,” I told her.

“You think so or you know so?”

I figured she was either pissed at me for threatening to punch her father, or because she found out that the plant was closing. The first option seemed highly unlikely. She was more likely to be pissed because I didn’t punch him. Which left the second option.

For the rest of the ride home I kept my mouth shut and did what I was told.

Back at the house, she got the girls settled in front of the TV with a couple of pudding cups, then she said to me, “I want to talk to you in the garage.”

I wasn’t even down off the garage steps before she spun around and said, “Did you think I would never find out?”

I froze for a second or two, long enough for a feeling of cold dread to wash over me. Then I said, “Who’d you hear it from?”

“Well apparently everybody in town knows about it except me. Apparently I’m the last person to find out. You know what I heard at least a half-dozen times today? You mean Russell didn’t tell you? I can’t believe Russell never told you about it! Do you know how embarrassing that is?”

You know that sick, gut-punched feeling you get when you let down somebody you love? That’s what I was feeling. “Sweetie,” I told her, “I’m sorry. I wanted to find another job before I told you. I didn’t want you to worry about it.”

“Well I am worried. I’m very worried. We’re going to have another baby in March!”

Because she wasn’t showing yet, it was easy at times to forget she was pregnant. Easy for me, I mean. I doubt I’d ever stop thinking about a baby if there was one inside me.

“How much longer before you’re done?” Cindy asked.

It takes me a while to say it, but I know I have to. “It would have been today. But now it’s tomorrow.”

“Dani needs a tonsillectomy! How are we going to pay for that without insurance? Plus there’s the mortgage, the truck payment, the . . . the . . .”

I grabbed her and pulled her close and told her, “Shhhh, shhhh,” while I stroked her hair. “I’ll find a job, I promise. If I have to I’ll get on with Burger King or Mickey D’s. Those places are always looking for managers.”

“You didn’t go to college to manage a bunch of teenagers,” she said.

“I went to college to get a degree so I could take care of my family. And that’s what I’ll do. However I have to.”

“It’s not the long term I’m worried about,” she said. “You’ll find a job, probably even a better one. But even if it only takes you till Thanksgiving, that’s three months we have to get through on my income alone. We can’t make our payments on that!”

“There’s some stuff of Pops’ I can use,” I told her.

“What stuff?”

“Stuff I stored for him. He says it’s mine anytime I want it. Old coins, silver certificates . . . It’s probably worth a few thousand anyway. Enough to keep our heads above water for a while.”

“Are you sure it’s safe out there?” she said.

“Pops and I are the only ones who know it’s there.”

“Is he still going to give us his car? We could probably sell that for a couple thousand.”

“I’m pretty sure he wants to keep it until they take his license from him.”

Then she started crying again. “We don’t even have any college funds started. We need to have three of them.”

“Ah, baby,” I said, and I pulled her close again, although I needed it as much as she did. “I’ll ask Jake if he knows anybody who might take me on. I’ll get us a paycheck somehow. You know I will.”

She nodded and sniffed a little. “Maybe you’d better get those things out of storage and bring them here. We need to figure out what we have to work with.”