Oh God.
For the first time since the war, and with startling clarity, Edward realised how desperately he wanted to live.
How much there was in his life to live for.
He wanted to be with Belle, a lifetime with Belle and their children. A big, messy, noisy family who would terrify him and turn his hair grey with worrying for them, but wasn’t that what everyone lived with? It was normal and right, to fear for those you loved, and even if the worst happened, wouldn’t you want to live every day given you like it was a gift, rather than bury yourself in a hole for fear of living at all?
“No!” he cried, scrambling to his feet as the beam began to give. “No!”
Chapter 31
“Wherein fears burn white hot.”
“Have you seen Lord Winterbourne?” Belle asked another man, once again receiving a shake of the head from a weary, soot-smudged face.
“He’s in the barn,” someone called back as Belle span around in horror.
“What?” she exclaimed as the lad, one from the boxing club, she thought, pointed thankfully at the smaller barn and not the one that was blazing like an inferno.
Belle’s heart gave an uneven thud in her chest. She felt sick.
“Why?” she cried, moving forwards. “What’s he doing?” Fear curled around her heart and held it captive. She needed Edward here. Now. She had to know he was safe. The whole bloody castle could burn to the ground, for all she cared, but she wanted Edward.
She felt a hand on her arm and looked around to find Garrett looking extraordinarily dishevelled.
“He’s sawing through the truss, my lady. They’re going to use the horses to pull the roof down so the fire can’t take hold. Ned Cowell is with him,” he added, though his grasp on her arm tightened. “Now you stay here or his lordship will worry, and I’ll be dismissed if I let you go another inch,” he added, his tone brooking no argument.
“But Garrett!” Belle pleaded, staring at the smoke billowing from the smaller barn with horror. She couldn’t breathe, fear immobilised her lungs, making it impossible to draw a breath. She was screaming inside, screaming for Edward, though she didn’t make a sound, only trembled. She began to move forwards.
“No, my lady,” Garrett said, his voice firm and his grip upon her arm even firmer. “It’s not just you to worry about now.”
She looked around in alarm, seeing a fatherly light in the butler’s eyes. Good Lord, did everyone know? She swallowed the idea that Edward might never know, might never even realise she carried his child, let alone live to see it. No. No.
Before she could pray or beg God to keep him safe, there was roar that hurt her ears, and a blast of heat so intense that her skin prickled and grew tight. The south barn collapsed in on itself, throwing flames and sparks and debris high into the sky. The horses screamed in horror, surging forward as Ned was carried along, digging his heels in and pulling with all his strength. But the mighty shires were too strong, even for one build like an ox himself, and they lumbered forwards, ears flat back and eyes rolling with fear.
“Edward! Edward!”
Garrett could not hold her as terror gave her strength, and she ripped her arm from his grasp, running forwards as a sickening crack split the air like a gunshot. A plume of dust and smoke and splinters exploded through the open doors of the barn as the roof caved in - and in the midst of it a figure emerged through the doors, scrambling on the wet cobbles to get clear as the roof crashed to the ground.
“Edward!”
Belle launched herself into his arms, almost knocking him flat against the cobbles as he fell to his knees. He was breathing hard, coughing and choking. But all she could see were his eyes, bright and alive, alive, glittering like emeralds against his filthy skin. Every inch of him was covered in dust and grime, and Belle thought she had never seen a more wonderful sight in her entire life.
“Belle,” he said, grinning at her as though he’d won some kind of prize. “Belle.”
He pulled her close, rocking the two of them together as Belle sobbed into his shoulder, one minute scolding him and pounding at his chest with fury for putting himself in danger, and the next running her hands over him, begging him to assure her he was unhurt.
“I’m fine,” he said, grinning at her like a fool. “A bit toasty, and I think I sprained my ankle, but nothing that won’t mend, I promise you. You don’t get rid of me that easily, you know.”
Belle gave a hiccupy laugh and fell upon his neck again, clinging to him as hard as she could. “If you ever frighten me like that again, Edward Greyston I’ll ... I’ll ...”
“Now you know how I feel,” he said, his tone half-amused, half-serious. “So, you’ll never climb another ladder as long as you live,” he said, his voice firm. “And I promise to stay out of collapsing barns.”
“Deal,” Belle said with a sigh, oblivious to the men still slinging buckets of water around her.
“Come now, love, we can’t sit here all night, these cobbles are wet and you’re freezing.”
Belle got to her feet, refusing to let go of Edward’s arm and supporting him as he was hobbling a little.
“Eddie!” They both turned to see that it was Charlie who’d shouted, running out through the smoke, waving his hat and rushing up to his master, his narrow chest heaving. “Damn me,” he said, gasping for air and bracing his arms against his legs to catch his breath. “When ... when I saw that building collapse and they said ye was still inside ... Lawd, ye gave me a bleedin’ fright.”
Edward reached out a hand and squeezed Charlie’s arm. “Shut up, you daft devil, anyone would think you cared.”
Charlie chuckled and shook his head. “I care that you still owe me that twenty quid, ye great lobcock,” he threw back, but with such affection in his eyes that Belle’s frail hold on her emotions threatened to leave her for good.
“Away with you, scoundrel!” Edward exclaimed, though he was still grinning. “I’ve never known a ruder valet in all my days. Damned if I know why I keep you.”
Belle looked around as Crecy ran over and grabbed her arm, looking up at Edward with admiration. “How brave you are, Edward,” she said, smiling broadly.
With amusement, Belle noticed Edward looking awkward under her praise. He cleared this throat to avoid answering.
“Yes, well, that’s enough of my husband’s heroics for one lifetime,” Belle replied, her voice firm, and was relieved that she no longer sounded like she was going to burst into tears. “So, enjoy it while you may,” she added, glaring at Edward, who simply grinned at her.
“Any ideas how it started?” Crecy asked, as they all turned to look at the devastation, relieved to see that at least the blaze was under control now.