“If anyone wakes up—”
“It’s better if we stay away and don’t scare them. Black bears aren’t normally violent.”
He’s right. It’s probably more dangerous for us to go back, but the guilt still sits around my neck, heavy as a noose.
The bears take their time. Of course, what feels like ten hours could be ten minutes. I don’t have a phone, a watch, any real indicator of time passing—unless I start counting the beats of my heart. Or Lucas’s heart, I guess. Sometimes, I can hear it too.
We wind up sitting shoulder to shoulder with our backs against the rough trunk of the oak. After a while, I open my eyes. I didn’t know I’d closed them. The moon is maybe half-full, but I can make out the shapes of trees, the shadow a couple hundred yards ahead that must be my tent. We can hear the bears now sometimes. Soft grunts and snuffles. They sound farther away. No one sounds terribly aggressive or agitated. I guess that’s good.
“How long will they stay?” I ask, my whisper sudden and sharp in the long quiet.
“Until they’re full.”
“They found food?” I ask.
Moonlight sends gray-blue shadows over Lucas’s jaw. I see it tighten and jump, like he’s furious. “I’d bet money on it. Whoever left that water might have lured the bears to us, hoping to scare us.”
“But just scare us, right? Black bears don’t usually eat humans, do they?”
“Well, mothers with cubs are up for anything,” he says. “But we’re safe enough here, so try to relax.”
“It’s my watch,” I say. “You were on watch when they came.”
“I’m not tired,” he says.
I mean to argue that I’m not either, but I’ve told enough lies today. I force my eyes open, but it’s like fighting gravity.
It isn’t comfortable. Bark is digging into my back, and I’m smelling my own stink and maybe a bit of Lucas’s too, but my body is nudging me hard for sleep, and I can feel it will win. I will sleep soon, right here, with bears in the camp and the cold air chilling me to the bone and the stupid cut on my leg throbbing like one of the club anthems Sophie blares when she drives. I can still picture her behind the wheel, long brown hair and flared eyeliner. Liv’s in the back with her constant laugh and shiny braids. I drag in a deep breath and try to roll my shoulders.
Lucas swallows and plows his feet through the dead leaves on the ground. Little sounds of nothing, and they lull me like a siren song. I don’t realize I’m asleep until I open my eyes again. The forest is different now. The black sky is replaced with gray haze, mist clinging to the ground and trees around us. Everything is still, so I do not move.
“You snore,” Lucas says beside me.
“I don’t,” I say automatically, but then I frown, pulling my head up. It wasn’t on his shoulder, but I’ve got grooves in my cheek from the bark. Reasonable trade, I guess. Except I think I’d feel better if I wrestled a tow truck.
“Just giving you shit,” Lucas says, lumbering to his feet and pulling an ugly face.
“Where are the bears?” I ask.
“They wandered off east about an hour ago? Hell, I don’t know. They’re long gone though.”
“Why didn’t you wake me? It was my shift to watch.”
“I don’t know much about keeping watch, but I’m pretty sure consciousness is required for the job.”
My cheeks go hot, and I swipe them with my hands, feel those bark grooves again. “I’m sorry. I can’t believe I fell asleep.”
He shrugs. “We’re wasted. I fell asleep with Jude watching my back.”
“Scary thought,” I say.
“Yeah,” he says with a laugh.
Out here, in the misty trees and cool predawn air, it’s easy to admit how much I like looking at him, at his hard face and sleepy eyes. Mom used to tell Dad it’s not a sin to look. Maybe she’s right on that one, but she did a hell of a lot more than look.
I pull my fingers through my shorter hair and remind myself that this is not the same. Lucas is not Charlie. I’m not breaking any vows looking at him, and I’m not falling head over heels or getting stupid. This isn’t going to hurt anyone.
But then he smiles, and I’m not so sure.
Chapter 11
Lucas walks me to the camp but then leaves me, claiming a need for a tree. I’m pretty sure he’s trying to find the food that brought the bears closer, but I don’t argue. I spot Emily first, just outside of our tent. She doesn’t ask where I’ve been, and I can tell by the rings under her eyes she didn’t have the most restful night.
“Did you hear the bear last night?” I guess.
“Yes. I’m glad you’re all right.”
“The bears spotted Lucas and me, so we backed out of camp. We thought we’d be less likely to piss them off.”
She nods and pushes her hair behind her ears. “I heard you guys leave. Thanks for zipping the tent closed for me.”