Austin pressed his lips against my belly. “Daddy’s here,” he whispered. “Are you giving your mom a hard time again?”
I ran my fingers through his unkempt hair, feeling his whiskers lightly scratching against my skin. He continued with petal-soft kisses, telling our child about the night when he’d fallen in love with me by the lakeshore—the way the wind blew my hair back, how I was a terrible singer, the silly pajamas I wore.
God, I loved that story.
Our story.
“Austin?”
“Yeah?”
“Does it ever scare you?”
He lifted his head. “What?”
“That we just might have this baby.”
He crawled on top of me and balanced on his elbows. “Oh, we’re having this baby. What’s been bugging you?”
“I’m scared I’ll make an awful mother. I’m raising a Packmaster’s baby; that’s a lot of pressure.”
He rubbed his nose against mine. “You’re not raising him alone.”
“All these attacks are happening, and I’m afraid…”
His face tightened. “No one, and I mean no one, is going to hurt my child. We can’t stop hell from knocking at our door, but that doesn’t mean we should stop living because we know it’s coming.”
“I don’t want to go to war with a baby. It’s hard enough losing one before they’re born, but—”
“Shhh.” Austin kissed my mouth reverently. “We’re not losing him.”
I sniffed. “Or her.”
“Him,” he repeated.
The way he said it caught my attention. “What makes you think it’s a boy?”
Austin shook his head. “I can sense a strong alpha in there.”
I smiled. “Maybe that’s our headstrong little girl, just like her mother.”
He flopped over to my right side. “We’ll see. Should we talk about names?”
“No.” I flattened my hands on my stomach. “I don’t want to jinx anything.”
“You mean you don’t want to get too attached. Am I right?”
Damn. He knew me too well. But how was I supposed to be brave? I’d already lost babies—ones I’d secretly given names to and imagined them growing up in our home. The longer it stayed inside me, the harder it would be to let go. Right now a baby was just an idea, but soon it would fill my belly and more of my heart. I didn’t have the courage to name a child I might have to say good-bye to. The Relic had given me a kindling of hope that I might one day carry to full term, but somewhere deep in the back of my head was a nagging voice that kept telling me I wasn’t good enough or deserving enough to be a mother, and maybe that’s why I was being punished with all these maladies.
“Let’s just wait before we start talking about names,” I said.
“Afraid I can’t come up with a good one?”
I glared at him. “Your parents almost named Jericho Beaver because of their naming scheme based on where you guys were conceived. I’d be scared to hear what you come up with.”
He kissed me softly on the temple. “Kitchen Table has a nice ring to it.”
Chapter 16
“Lorenzo sure knows how to throw a peace party.” I extended my hands toward the fire, the wood hissing and crackling with heat.
“You say that, but I’m quite certain one of the teenagers has snuck into our room to use the Jacuzzi,” Ivy replied.
The noise from the party had become too much, so I’d asked Ivy if there was a quiet place I could sit for a while. Now here we were, in Lorenzo’s favorite room with the Native American motif. We had a cozy spot by the fire, William sitting across from me.
Ivy handed William a glass of ginger ale. He crossed his legs and smiled appreciatively while Ivy took a seat in a wooden chair to his left, her cane resting against the wall within reach.
“Sorry. I didn’t mean to pull you away,” I said. “Normally I love a good party, but the noise is a little overwhelming. You can go back if you want.”
“You’re my dearest friend, and I can think of no better company to be in.” Her eyes drifted down to my small rounded belly. “Five months have gone by so quickly. It won’t be long before the little one is here. How have you been feeling?”
“Better. I could have used Izzy’s Relic, but Edward’s been great through the whole thing. He checks on me frequently and monitors my diet. The herbal shakes he gave me for the first few months didn’t taste very good, but I felt so much better. If anyone in your pack ever needs a Relic, I give him my full recommendation.”
William stretched his legs, then crossed them at the ankle. “And how is Lakota settling in with the Church pack?”
“His parents miss him,” she replied. “But we’ve spoken, and they support his wishes. He is a man now, and a man must begin making choices that define his character. Lakota has been protective of Hope since the beginning. They are almost six years apart, but his parents have always encouraged him to spend as much time bonding with her as possible. Family is important to them, and I’ve been fortunate that such a loving couple raised my son.”