‘Don’t be silly.’ She pauses. ‘So how was Jenny? Did you have a nice day beside the sea?’
She allows the silence to stretch. They contemplate each other and it’s Vicky who looks away first. Downstairs are back, judging by the music. Amber looks out of the window. One of them is out there, sitting in the dark on the bricked edge of the flower bed, smoking a cigarette. Graham, she thinks. Or is it Paul? It might be Paul. She’s never taken the trouble to learn who’s who. He taps ash into a beer bottle at his feet, looks up and catches her eye. She stares him out. She hates the lot of them.
She turns. ‘You didn’t have to hide it, you know.’
Vicky gazes at her and tears well up. ‘I meant to tell you. I am sorry.’
‘No,’ Amber says hurriedly. ‘Listen. It’s as much my fault as yours. Things have been a little strange recently. And I know you’ve been under a lot of pressure. I was only teasing.’
‘I should have mentioned it but I was fighting Josh over his protective sleeve when your text came in. I wasn’t thinking.’
‘Vicky, I’m not going to go into a jealous frenzy because you and Tom have taken some other family to the seaside. I just want to know, does it have anything to do with what I asked you? Have I spoilt things between us?’
‘No! No, of course not. Amber, you are my best friend.’
And you are so transparent. She can see where Polly gets it from. The mere hint that she might be in trouble and she dissolves. Poor Vicky. All Amber has to do is pet her and stroke her ego and all will be well.
But then why does she feel so sad? So lost? Where has this sudden welling of emotion come from? She bites down on her lip and turns her back on Vicky, wrings a cloth out under the hot tap and starts to clean the surfaces. Robert is an incurably messy cook. Maybe it’s just that she’s finding it hard to contemplate the end of a friendship. Because, when all this is over, what will she do without Vicky? Is it worth it even? Maybe she should go back to where they were before, ignore all the provocations, the reminders.
‘Amber, what’s wrong?’ Vicky’s hand is on her shoulder.
She turns round and allows herself to be hugged. ‘Sorry,’ she sniffs. ‘It’s not your fault. I’ve had a shitty weekend.’
‘Browning Street?’
She nods. ‘I can’t help myself. I took the keys home on Friday and I keep going back, even though it’s torture. I want it so much. It’s eating away at me. That’s why I needed to see you this afternoon. To get some perspective.’
‘I don’t think me telling you it’s just a house is going to help.’ Vicky is joking and Amber manages a small smile.
‘No. You won’t say anything to Robert, will you? He doesn’t know I’ve been round and I don’t want him to.’ She extricates herself from Vicky’s embrace and blows her nose. ‘So what’s the disaster?’
Vicky is already putting her coat back on, doing up the buttons, turning up the collar. She groans.
‘You won’t believe it, but one of the girls left the tap running in their basin upstairs. It’s gone right through the house.’
‘Oh my God, how awful. Which one of them did it? Not Polly, surely.’
‘They’re both denying it.’
Amber gives a little shrug. ‘It might have been an accident.’
‘I don’t think so. The plug was in. That’s what’s so upsetting.’
‘Goodness. I’ve never had either of your girls pegged as malicious.’
A hint of defensiveness passes across Vicky’s face. ‘They aren’t.’
That was poorly judged. ‘No, of course not. Maybe you or Tom said or did something inadvertently. Something that made one of them feel demeaned? I don’t know, but these things don’t come out of nowhere and it’s easy to forget how deeply children can feel.’
‘Oh, I’m in no doubt it’s my fault,’ Vicky sighs. ‘But I don’t think there was anything wrong this morning. And we had a really happy day.’
So you did, Amber thinks. Good for you.
June 1992
MAGGIE’S GREEN LINEN coat was hanging over the banister. Katya frowned at it. The school must have noticed her absence already and raised the alarm. It was the first time since she’d been at the Bryants’ that she’d gone missing during the day, but Gabriella said Linda had died because she was a junkie and a prostitute and refused to let Katya join in her game. She left right at the beginning of lunch break, so it would be a surprise if they had noticed that she was gone yet, but not impossible. Luke wasn’t even supposed to be here or she never would have come back. He’d told them he had an interview in the city and would be gone all day. He must have lied. Maybe he always lied. But how was he going to get a job if he didn’t go to interviews? This was a problem.
She found Maggie in the kitchen wearing a colourful cotton summer dress that flowed out from an elasticated waist under her boobs and her hair was loose and wild. The radio was on. Katya watched as she spread butter on two slices of bread, swaying her large bum to the music.
‘Maggie.’
Maggie jerked, dropped the knife and pressed her hand to her throat. ‘Katya! You scared the life out of me! Why aren’t you at school?’
Katya took in the scene and answered with a question of her own. ‘Why are you here?’
Maggie retrieved the knife and put it in the dishwasher. When she faced Katya again her skin was flushed. ‘I was passing so I dropped in to have a quick chat with Luke about your transition to senior school.’
Katya glanced down at Maggie’s bare feet and back up at her eyes. Maggie turned away abruptly, cut the sandwiches into triangles and took them to the table.
‘Where’s Luke?’
‘In the shower. When I got here he wasn’t even out of bed.’
She spoke too fast, like she was making up excuses. Their eyes met and held and Katya felt a dawning horror. She backed out of the room, shaking her head slowly. Maggie rushed over and caught her by the arm.
‘Let go of me! I know what you’re doing.’
She struggled, but Maggie’s grip tightened. Katya had always thought of her as soft, when she was in fact very strong. It was the fear in Maggie’s eyes that told Katya she was right. They had been doing it while the house was empty. She’d seen that expression and smelt that particular scent on her mother.
‘He said he had an interview!’ she yelled, squirming to free herself. ‘Why are you telling lies?’
‘Shh. Don’t be silly. No one’s lying. Luke is unhappy about the job situation, and he’s been trying so hard to pretend everything’s all right. When I saw the state he was in I told him to get a wash and I’d make him something to eat. I felt sorry for him, darling. That’s all.’
‘What are you doing back here?’
Luke appeared in the doorway roughly towelling his hair. He didn’t look particularly upset. Maggie let her go and Katya shrank from her, rubbing her bruised arms.