This wasn’t how I planned this conversation to go. I planned on a formal detached discussion. Instead I leaned against him, because his eyes told me he understood.
“It’s just a date on the calendar,” he said, stroking my shoulder lightly with his fingers. “We can still have Christmas.”
“It wouldn’t be real.”
He shook his head.
“Helen doesn’t care that it wouldn’t be exactly on December 25th. Caldenia doesn’t care. Orro will jump on any excuse to cook a feast. Your sister
could use a Christmas. She hasn’t had one for a while. We’ll get a tree, we’ll decorate, we’ll wrap presents, and I’ll kill any Draziri that tries to interfere…”
I stuck my head into his hard chest. He held me tighter.
“What’s wrong with me?”
“Residual combat stress,” he said. “Happens when a corrupted innkeeper almost kills you and then an idiot assassin shoots a nuke at you, all in twenty-four hours.”
“When did you learn Old Galactic?”
“About three or four months into the Nexus tour. There wasn’t much to do but fight and wait to fight. I went through a lot of manuals and brain imprints. It kept me from snapping. I’m a walking encyclopedia of random knowledge.”
I let out a long slow breath. He rubbed my back.
“I thought you were packed.”
“Where would I go?” he asked me.
I leaned against him and we sat quietly for a while in front of the fire. There was no give in Sean. No softness in his body. It was all hard muscle and bones, wrapped in harsh predatory strength. The lean lone wolf trotted out of the dark woods to lay by the fire because I was here. He never abandoned who he was. He still had his sharp teeth and fiery eyes, not tame, but content to behave so I wouldn’t chase him off. It made me want to go down to the kitchen and bring him something to eat.
I had put together a logical, convincing speech, but all of that seemed stupid now.
“The inn has to come first,” I said. “The safety of the guests before the safety of the innkeeper.”
He didn’t say anything.
“It’s a weird life. Once you bond with the inn, you can never truly leave. Even if you do, you still feel the pull of it. Some people view it as being trapped and they can’t wait to get out. It can get boring when there are no guests. Then again, when there are guests, it can get so busy you barely have a chance to sleep. Sometimes guests want unreasonable things. Some of them listen to you explain the danger and then run straight into it. But that’s your life. You take care of the inn. You keep them safe. They leave and you stay. Always.”
He still wasn’t saying anything.
I took a deep breath. “This is what I chose. Right or wrong, I’m here. This is my home.”
Why was this so hard? I just had to say it. Even if he got up and walked away, at least I would know where we stood.
“If you’re going to be an innkeeper with me—“
He pulled me closer. My voice caught. I swallowed and kept going. “—you would have to put the safety of the guests first. I will follow your lead in a fight. I won’t argue or beg. I won’t ask you to change your strategy. But this life would have to be enough, because I can’t unchoose it. If that’s not what you want…”
He didn’t say anything. It felt like a lifetime. The air was viscous and heavy, like I was swimming through molasses.
I raised my gaze. He was looking at me, his amber eyes full of flames from the fire. “But would I get you, if I were an innkeeper?”
“Yes.”
“That’s all I want.”
The weight dropped off me. I didn’t realize I was carrying it. I kissed him. One moment I was looking at him and then my lips touched his, forging a connection between us.
The muscles of his arm tightened under my fingers. His lips closed on mine, hot and hungry. The kiss deepened, turning possessive, hot, heady like the intoxicating heat of strong wine gulped too quickly. He licked my tongue. He tasted so good. I slid my arms around him, wanting more. I didn’t care if the whole galaxy burned, as long as he kept kissing me like that.
He broke the kiss. His eyes were completely wild. The wolf was staring back at me and he wanted me more than anything in his forest. It made me feel beautiful.
“Not tonight,” he said. “You’re not in the right place tonight.”
He was right. I slid closer to him and put my head on his chest. “Okay.”
A few seconds passed.
“I’m an idiot,” Sean said. He sounded resigned.
“No,” I told him. “You’re my wolf.”
He turned to me and a sharp humorous spark lit up his eyes. “Don’t you know wolves are dangerous?”
“I do. You should kiss me again, Sean Evans. I really want you to.”
He kissed me back and I melted into it.
CHAPTER 10