“Well, that was that.” I sat down in a chair. “I’ve learned nothing useful, except that Freud would love to interview him and that he has apparently given some thought to torturing me.”
“On the contrary, my dear.” Caldenia set the can down. “We’ve learned a great deal.”
“What do you mean?”
“You heard, but you haven’t listened. You must learn to listen, Dina.”
Within the depths of the inn, the door to Baha-char opened. I felt Maud and Arland and nobody else. Crap.
“What?” Sean was on his feet.
“They’re back. Alone.”
The door flew open in front of me and I hurried into the kitchen and then into the front room, Sean and Caldenia behind me. Maud and Arland emerged from the hallway. Mush, fruit peels, and garbage covered their armor. Some unidentifiable sticky yellow slime stained Arland’s breastplate, and pieces of some broken circuitry stuck to it. White ash filled Maud’s hair. Arland was shaking with rage. Maud looked ready to rip someone’s head off. The reek of rotting garbage filled the room and I gagged.
“What happened?” I squeezed out. “Where is the Archivarian?”
Maud hurled her sword onto the floor and spat a single word. “Muckrats!”
*
“You let muckrats steal the Archivarian? Are you crazy?” Of all the… How could they… Argh!
“They were already there!” Maud waved her arms. “I swear!”
“Lady Maud is correct,” Arland said. “When we arrived, the merchant’s shop was ransacked.”
“He owed money to the muckrats,” Maud added. “He missed a payment so they went through his shipment and took the Archivarian.”
I put my hand over my face. Of all the creatures, it had to be muckrats.
“Why would they want the Archivarian?” Sean asked, his voice calm.
“The lights,” I said.
“What do you mean?” Sean asked.
“The tank is likely big, ornate, and has blinking lights on it.”
“We pursued,” Arland said. “And then we tried to bargain. When reason failed, we attempted to storm their compound.”
“Did you happen to storm it through a garbage compactor?” Sean asked.
Arland gave him a blank look.
“It’s not his fault,” Maud said. “He was brave and he tried. I tried too. They dumped garbage on us and then acid.” She crouched, grabbed her sword off the floor, and stood up, all in one fluid motion, and stuck her sword under my nose. The blade resembled a half-melted candle.
“Two years.” Maud’s voice trembled, and I couldn’t tell if it was from despair or outrage. “I’ve had this sword for two years. It saved my life. Look at it.”
“You needn’t worry, my lady,” Arland said quietly. “I assure you that you will have a new blade, one suited to your skill, before nightfall.”
I heaved a sigh. Berating and yelling wouldn’t fix anything. It would make me feel a lot better, but we didn’t have time to waste.
“We came back here as soon as we could,” Maud said.
“I still think that a prolonged assault may have yielded some results,” Arland said.
“No, Maud is right.” I pulled my robe off and grabbed the car keys from the hook by the door. “You can’t fight muckrats. You can’t reason with them either. You can only trade. Maud, I need you to defend the inn. The Draziri likely won’t attack. It’s broad daylight.”
“Where are you going?” Sean asked.
“To Walmart!”
“I’m coming with you. Kiran’s fixated on you. You can’t count on him being rational.”
I opened my mouth… It would take longer to argue and we didn’t have time. For all I knew the muckrats were prying the argon tank open as we spoke. Besides, he was right. The Draziri had made it personal during our last conversation.
“Okay.” I turned to Maud. “Hold the inn. Please.”
“I got it,” she said.
I stuck my feet into my shoes I had left by the front door and ran for the garage. Sean followed me.
I jumped into the driver's seat, he took the passenger one, and I forced myself to casually drive out of the garage and pull into the street at a reasonable speed instead of peeling out of there like a Nascar driver. Nobody assaulted us. Nobody followed.
“What are muckrats?” Sean asked.
“Magpies of the galaxy. They have a fort at Baha-char.”
Ten minutes later we marched through Walmart’s doors. I headed straight for the toy aisle.
“What are we looking for?” Sean asked.
“Look for the most annoying thing you can find. Anything that’s loud, has flashing lights, and complicated moving parts.”