“What are you doing? That’s yours,” I protested, holding my hand up, refusing to take it.
“Yeah, well it’ll keep you warm out here. And if I can’t buy you a gift, then I want to give you something. Birthdays are important. Just because we live in a condemned piece of shit, doesn’t mean we can’t celebrate,” he argued, shoving the smelly shirt in my lap.
“Happy Birthday, Imi,” Bug added, wrapping the Zippo lighter he had just been given in a potato chip bag from the ground and laying it beside me. Di took off one of the bangle bracelets she always wore and slipped it over my hand.
“Happy birthday,” Karla muttered.
My throat felt uncomfortably tight. My eyes burned with tears.
“You don’t have to give me your things—” I started to protest.
“We want you to have them,” Di said, talking over me.
I held the gifts to my chest, valuing them more than anything I had ever been given up to that point.
“Thanks, guys.” My voice cracked.
“That’s not all,” Yoss announced, pulling a pair of roller skates out from behind his back. They looked two sizes too big and were an ugly shade of brown. One was missing laces and the wheels were chipped and worn down.
“Roller skates?” I laughed, taking them from him.
Yoss reached into his bag and pulled out another pair. “They had thrown out a few pairs at the roller rink in town, so I took them. I thought we could go roller-skating,” he said with a shrug.
“Where the hell are you going to go roller-skating?” Karla demanded, looking annoyed.
“Right here. Come on, Imi. Will you go roller-skating with me?” he asked sweetly.
“I haven’t been skating since I was six,” I warned, taking off my shoes and shoving my feet into the skates. They were way too big and it was questionable whether I’d be able to stand.
Yoss quickly put his own skates on and got up unsteadily. “Well, I’ve never been. But I figure I can hold my own on a skateboard, so I should be oka—”
He instantly fell on his ass.
“This is going to be awesome!” Shane chuckled and Di gave him a standing ovation.
But Yoss was still grinning like he hadn’t just slammed into cold concrete. It took him a few tries to get back to his feet. When he was more or less steady, he held out his hand to me. “Come on, birthday girl.”
I held on to him tightly and almost pulled him over. Yoss gripped my arms and I used his body as leverage to get myself upright. “If I break something, I’m blaming you,” I teased.
Yoss frowned. “If you don’t want to skate, we don’t have to. I just thought it would be something fun to do for your birthday. But if it was a bad idea—”
I cut him off with a quick kiss to the mouth. My feet slid out from underneath me and I had to grab Yoss so I wouldn’t end up on my ass like he had. “This is fun. Come on. Let’s try to figure out how to do this.”
“This is the dumbest thing I’ve ever seen,” I heard Karla say.
“You’re just jealous Yoss isn’t roller-skating with you,” Di responded. I loved that girl.
Yoss and I slowly made our way to the area where the skaters hung out. No one was around today, perhaps because it was so cold.
After a few minutes, Yoss was able to push himself along, while I still had to hold onto him with a death grip.
“Why is it so easy for you?” I complained.
Yoss laughed. “You’ll pick it up in no time. Though it’s fine if you don’t. I like having you hold on to me so tightly,” he murmured into my ear and my belly flipped over.
“You guys are worse than a grandmother! Come on, do some tricks!” Shane yelled. The rest of the gang had come over and were now perched on a fallen down wall watching Yoss and me skate very, very badly.
“Happy birthday, Imi,” Yoss said as I finally was able to let go of him long enough to take a turn on my own.
I smiled so much that my face ached as I shuffled along in my throw away skates.
Some days were dark and bleak. Cold and hungry I felt as if I were barely existing.
Then there were days like this.
When all I felt was love for the boy who kept me safe. The boy who tried to make me happy in the most miserable circumstances. Who held my hand and kissed me softly and made me feel like the luckiest girl in the world.
Even when I had nothing, he was everything.
It was the best birthday I had ever had.
Present
Yoss didn’t say anything on the entire drive to my house.
It wasn’t exactly awkward, but it wasn’t comfortable either.
He tapped his knee in a jarring rhythm. I pulled up along the curb and cut the engine. Yoss didn’t move to get out of the car.
“This is a bad idea,” he muttered, looking towards my dark house. “I shouldn’t be here.”
I turned in my seat so that I was facing him. I felt apprehensive as well. I understood his trepidation. My suggestion had been impulsive. Something I hadn’t afforded myself in many, many years. But it had felt right.
But did it still feel right?
I looked at Yoss and I saw a troubled, sick, lonely man.