She has to ask? Like she doesn抰 know she went peeping through a very dark, private window into my life, and I抦 basically letting her off with a slap on the wrist?
揧ou remember earlier when you said we were even??I ask.
Nevermore takes a deep breath. Her eyes narrow. Everything is effort with her, the little brat.
揧es??she whispers.
揥e抮e not, but we抮e going to be even very soon.?
揙h, yeah? What does that mean??
揇id you notice Lucy wasn抰 here when you came in this morning??I look down, rubbing at this minor smudge on my desk.
揑 didn抰 have time to notice anything. This impatient nutter pulled me into his office and accused me of stalking and other high crimes.?
She gets my eyes.
My very tired eyes, thoroughly exhausted with this sniping back and forth.
揥ell, she抣l be gone for at least the next eight weeks. Possibly longer,?I say.
揝he had her baby??Miss Poe smiles.
揘ot yet, but she抯 in labor from what I understand.?
That happy, well-wishing grin on her face fades instantly. Her eyes go wide with grief.
揥ait. Wait, now you want me to play secretary, don抰 you??
It抯 hard to pull back my smile.
She抯 good at catching on.
揑 do have some additional work for you in the interim, yes. Don抰 worry. It comes with additional compensation,?I say flatly.
She looks iced over and unamused.
揝o I抦 going from copywriter to your standin assistant??she asks with a visible cringe.
揘o. You抮e going to be my right hand, and since you抮e killing it on the wedding line, you抣l be doing both jobs. Doesn抰 that sound like fun? I抣l spare you a chance to make more jokes about what my hands get up to when I抦 hot and bothered. I抳e heard them before and they抮e not goddamned funny.?
She glares at me like a desert sun wanting to make me a pile of parched bones.
揑t抯 like a two in one,?I continue. 揇idn抰 you tell me coffee duty seemed more like an assistant抯 role? Maybe now棓
揇on抰 even try it. You抮e on coffee duty this week. A deal抯 a deal!?she throws out with a desperate look.
揋o ahead and move your stuff to Lucy抯 space. It抯 a larger desk. You can write from anywhere, and it will be easier if my assistant is nearby,?I say matter-of-factly.
揂nd if I don抰 agree??
揥hy wouldn抰 you? I just told you it pays more.?Then I remember the day I met Dakota Poe. She turned down five hundred dollars for a cinnamon roll. 揜ight. I forgot you抮e not motivated by money like the other ninety-nine percent of the world. You also promised me ninety days. Tell you what, help me out and you don抰 have to write any runaway grooms. You抣l have full creative freedom to flex your muscles and produce whatever you want with my backing.?
In half a second, she goes from stiff as a board to a glowing red icon.
揜eally? You抎 better be serious.?She scratches at the corner of her lip, deep in thought. I try like hell not to stare, to acknowledge what her expressions do to me. 揃ut what if Anna gets mad at me because I just came in and can do whatever I want??
揑抣l talk to her. She won抰 be upset. Anna loves your ideas, and if anything, this just loosens them up.?
She puffs out her cheeks and then gives me a satisfied smile.
揊ine. I抣l go move my stuff.?
Is it wrong that I can think of better things I抎 like to move?
Yes, it is.
Still, I抎 love to move her against the wall, hold her down, and teach those lips some sorely needed respect.
I watch like the half-mad asshole I am while she stands and walks to the door, her hips pumping, reminding me I抦 a slave to thoughts I shouldn抰 have.
揗iss Poe??
揧es??She looks at me over her shoulder.
揧ou have me confused. I抦 not sure which is nicer梩he raven tattoo or the bird who抯 wearing it,?I growl against my better judgment.
She blushes.
揙h, shut up. That抯 not even close to appropriate, Burns.?
I hold up a hand, hiding my smirk behind it.
揙ne more thing, Miss Poe.?
揥hat??
揝ince we抳e already made the mistake of getting personal, we抣l be doing a lot more of it over the next few weeks.?
揥hatever you think, bro.?
揃ro??My eyebrows fly up and I hold in a laugh. 揇id you just call me bro??
She gives a rolling shrug.
揧eah, you抮e a bro. You抮e acting like a big one today. Ciao.?
揙nce you get your stuff moved, if I抦 not in a meeting or on the phone, stop by my office. I抣l show you how to use Lucy抯 EA Inbox.?
She exits without another complaint and a nice view of her plump ass, swaying with every switch of her hips.
Damn.
I don抰 dare stand before she抯 gone, or else how much I抦 enjoying that view will be on full display. She抣l be back soon and I抎 rather my right hand not know the full effect she has on me.
Once she抯 gone, I gently punch myself in the crotch under my desk.
揙w, fuck,?I snarl, ripping my hand up.
Not gently enough.
It hurts like hell, but it solves my problem.
I made a mistake by hiring this nosy, rude, insufferable woman. Every day, I抦 digging that hole deeper.
Since I can抰 fire her, here I am.
Reduced to whacking myself in the balls like a slapstick comedian and praying they抮e a little less blue by day抯 end.
It doesn抰 work for long. I find myself glancing angrily at the clock every few minutes.
I feel like God himself is slamming a door in my face.
You chose this fate, I can hear him saying. Now suffer the consequences, smurf balls and all.
More than an hour later, Poe hasn抰 come back, but Lucy抯 emails are being sorted and replied to rather quickly.
I抦 equally impressed and relieved.
My EA is damn dedicated, but I can抰 have her working on maternity leave. It抯 not right.
I open my office door around noon after reviewing the latest ad mockups sent to me and find Nevermore perched at Lucy抯 desk with the phone clutched in her hand.
揟he image with the logo isn抰 right. Whatever you choose needs more contrast with the background. This one just fades into it and doesn抰 pop.?
She抯 quiet for a minute while I eavesdrop.
揧es, everything that appears on the page is part of the ad. If the image and text don抰 mesh well together, my work doesn抰 read right. No, that抯 not acceptable. If you can抰 find a better pic, try changing the background color. But please send it back to me before you submit it. I抦 not convinced this one aligns with our messaging anyway.?
I stare at her, wondering how she read my mind. I抦 certainly feeling more confident in my staffing decisions梑lue balls and all梪ntil her whip of a tongue moves again.
揥ell, the bosshole抯 here and he probably wants something, so why don抰 you play around while I play secretary to the prince of entitlement??
My jaw tightens.
How the hell does she even see me? Her back is turned.
And I抦 officially a 'bosshole?'
揅an you have it back to me by three? You heard what Burns said. This line is a big deal and the clock抯 ticking, to put it mildly. If the CEO has inserted himself in the creative process, you can bet it抯 important. We need these ads in the pipeline and ready to go. The magazines where they抣l run have strict deadlines.?
She抯 been here for a few weeks and already talks like a manager? I hide my amusement.
揙kay, four then. Sorry to rush you. I just need to see it before I leave and if it needs a quick tweak, I want to give you feedback before you抮e out for the day.?She抯 quiet for a minute. 揙kay, thanks. Bye.?
She drops the phone into its cradle and spins around in her chair to face me.
揧ou were supposed to come back so I could show you how Lucy抯 inbox works. You never showed and she抯 responding to her email.?
揘o, she抯 not.?
揧es, she is. I抳e been CC抎 on two already.?
揂nd if I am Lucy??She purses her lips. 揕ook, the poor girl抯 busy pushing a bowling ball out of a coin purse. I get that you think you抮e important, but today, she probably doesn抰. The least I can do is fire off responses for her. I assure you she isn抰 responding to any email on behalf of the Lincoln Burns without his input on anything critical.?
Fuck, I never thought I抎 hear a vagina described like that.