I抦 almost ten years younger, hunkered down with Wyatt in a landscape painted shades of tan.
We抮e both dusty as hell, two clean-shaven boys sitting around a fire at a base camp about twenty miles outside Mosul.
One more smile that will never be the same again. Wyatt had all of his limbs then and was smitten with his wife.
Less than a year later, he was discharged with a purple heart and no leg from the knee down, abandoned by the woman he trusted most.
Bitterness floods my veins, remembering how quickly the descent came after she left him.
First his addiction to the painkillers梐 beast he managed to get a handle on梑ut only after it cost him everything. He couldn抰 hold down a job and he抎 lost his wife and son.
Now, because he loved, he lives on the street.
Barely alive except for his obsession with fucking pastries.
Love is a tricky business, just like I told Dakota Poe.
It抯 the most hellish, unforgiving, ass-biting business I know with razor-sharp teeth designed to kill.
Some people who get bit wind up torn to pieces, digested, and shat out with all the care of an owl swallowing a mouse.
I can抰 forget that. No way in hell am I falling into that trap again.
I can抰 end up in a tent like Wyatt or at the receiving end of a knife in my back.
I can抰 do anything except the only thing I抳e ever been good at梤unning this company.
People depend on me.
Mother still receives a pension like countless others who need it even more than she does. My employees depend on their livelihood. It抯 my job to keep this machine thriving.
Love is a fucking landmine, all too capable of blowing everything to kingdom come.
I抳e seen what happens when people fall for cupid抯 schemes, that sneaky little shit.
For every Happily Ever After, there are a dozen hearts fractured and stomped into the ground like shattered ornaments.
I have rules when it comes to women for good reason. Hookups are fine as long as everyone knows it抯 a hookup, though I haven抰 even bothered with one-night flings in a long time.
Feelings梤elationships梩hose are for suckers. And if my parents did one thing right, they didn抰 raise one of those.
I don抰 date. I damn sure don抰 have any business being interested in Dakota frigging Poe. Being an employee makes her forbidden fruit of the worst kind, and that抯 all she can be.
I move to the wet bar and pour a scotch, downing it so fast I almost choke, coughing into my hand.
Yeah, it抯 that kind of night.
The silvery city lights can抰 banish the looming blackness that pulls up bad memories like imaginary monsters from my closet.
When you抮e a boy, it抯 easy to get through nights like this with a flashlight and a brave face.
When you抮e a grown man with regrets, obligations, and failures梬hen you抳e had your own heart hammered to a pulp and you抳e seen everyone you care for emotionally mutilated by romance梱ou need something stronger.
Tilting the glass bottle over the shot glass, I pour two more fingers, down it, and repeat.
I抦 on my sixth gut bomb when my phone rings.
Her name flashes across the screen. I almost drop the glass.
What the hell? Does this chick have multiple personalities or something?
揌ello??I answer.
揑抦 sorry I cut you off. It was nice of you to call and apologize. Before you went off with your usual BS, I mean. I shouldn抰 have egged you on. And shit, I realize it抯 probably too late to be calling my boss桰抦 sorry梖uck, I said shit. Ugh. I抦 screwing this up.?
揑t抯 fine,?I mutter, a crooked smile on my face.
She sighs. 揕ook, because of the way we met with you going bananas over my cinnamon roll... I sometimes forget I need to be professional around you. I抦 working on it. I promise you I am, even if it may not seem like it.?
I can抰 believe what I抦 hearing. I didn抰 think she was built with an apologetic bone in her body.
揑t抯 fine, Miss Poe. My offer stands. I have other lines you can work on if weddings just aren抰 suitable. You抮e skilled enough to retain on other projects for the long haul, even if they抮e assignments I didn抰 hire you for. We can be flexible.?
揘o, not necessary. I抦...able to compartmentalize well enough. I抣l keep delivering quality copy on the wedding campaign, or wherever else you need me.?
揥hatever you want,?I say with a nod. 揊or the record, I抦 sorry too for that last conversation. It takes two to tango and I抦 a terrible dancer.?
She laughs softly before she speaks again, this small, gentle sound hanging in the air.
揝o, we抮e good, Burns??
揥e always were. You抮e the one who didn抰 think there was any point in being friendly.?Why did I say that? This conversation has been almost civil.
揜ight, because you抮e a psychopath.?
揧es, and the most undateable prick to ever walk the earth, which you know because you spend your free time Googling me.?I抦 grateful, but mildly surprised I haven抰 heard her mention Regina, lover boy, or the lawsuit yet.
Apparently, my gag order worked better than I thought.
揥hy did I call expecting an adult conversation??she mutters.
揈asy. You needed to hear the sound of my voice.?
Where the hell is my tongue? Get it together, Burns. Now you抮e just flirting and she抯 radioactive. Not to mention she has an attitude the size of Mount Rainier. A girl like Nevermore won抰 hesitate at all to walk out when things get tough or when something better comes along.
揇ang, you got me. That抯 it. I need the majestic sound of grumpy men with tiny fuses to lull me to sleep...?
揇on抰 call my fuse tiny, lady,?I growl jokingly.
She snorts laughter.
換uestion,?I say, wisely ignoring her crap. 揃ecause you caught me off guard in the meeting today棓
揙h? That sounds like a first.?
揥hat抯 your idea of the perfect wedding??
She hesitates. 揧ou抮e really asking me that, knowing weddings are off-limits??
揧ou asked first. Fair is fair, Nevermore. It抯 just us here. No audience.?
揥ell, I don抰 believe in marriage. Not anymore. But on the off chance I抦 ever drunk enough to get Vegas hitched or whatever... I think I抎 elope,?she says.
揈lope? Why??
揥eddings are all for show. The average groom never does any real work. I抦 not willing to go through that for some dude to maybe change his mind when we抮e thousands of dollars deep and on the hook socially. He抯 either serious enough to get married the minute he proposes, or he can keep his ring.?
揧ou抮e hardcore,?I say without thinking. 揑 like it.?
揘o, I抦 jaded.?She huffs a loud breath. 揕ike why don抰 guys spend six months planning what they抮e going to wear at a wedding or what color the flowers should be? Because someone will do it for them, and then it抯 慶ute?when ads show her having to chase him. I still have no idea how that ever sells a dress. I mean, nothing screams romance from the rafters like the notion that I should beg to be good enough for some guy who supposedly wants to be my husband.?
She抯 gone all ranty.
I抦 smiling like a dumbstruck fool.
揇amn. That was the wrong question, I see,?I tell her, trying to save face.
揌ey, you knew it was a sore spot, bossman.?
I chuckle. 揑t抯 hard to believe you called me to apologize.?
揧ou抮e right. But I am sincerely sorry.?She pauses. 揟echnically, you抮e still a complete freak over breakfast rolls, but we抮e cool even if we抮e not exactly friendly. I抣l see you next week with less attitude.?
揑 hope you抣l continue being a little psycho, Miss Poe. For the sake of good creative, of course,?I say.
揚sycho? Am not!?
揂re,?I growl.
揇ude. I抦 not the one flipping out over a cinnamon梱ou know what? No. I抦 not getting baited into going around in circles again. I apologized. Good night, Mr. Burns.?
She抯 exasperated and I抦 enjoying it far too much.
Shit, maybe I really do have a screw or ten loose.
揧ou turned down five hundred dollars for a ball of dough for your pride. That抯 objectively crazier than offering five hundred dollars for said dough.?I still maintain if she knew why I needed the cinnamon roll, she抎 stop calling me a lunatic.