揘o, nothing like that,?I say with a sigh. I wish it was that simple because at least it抎 be a relatable, human problem. Not whatever this thing is with a charging bull who buys cinnamon rolls by the bucketful. 揙kay, so you remember the crazy who tried to buy my Regis roll for five hundred smackeroos a few days ago??
揧eah??She blinks at me.
揑 saw him at the coffee shop again this morning, and he remembered me. He decided to be an even bigger swinging dick. Before I could even flip him off, he stepped up and bought four dozen Regis rolls to make sure I didn抰 get a single one.?
She stares at me in disbelief.
揟alk about issues! But that means the cray cray happened before the interview then. That抯 good news, I bet??
揢m...?I hesitate. 揟hat wasn抰 the biggest drama.?
揇akota,?she presses, setting her cup down and rubbing her weary eyes. 揕ook at me. I spend at least twelve hours a day every day smelling like a human coffee bean and baking my butt off. My knees haven抰 taken me on a walk farther than a block for a week. When you have drama and you hold back梟o. Girl, you dish it right now.?
I抦 laughing and sympathetic as she takes an annoyed slurp of coffee.
揊ine. He抯 the frigging CEO, and he was on the interview panel.?
I抦 hit by a sudden warm mist on my arm. Courtesy of Eliza, laughing so hard she spews coffee everywhere.
揋et out! Sorry.?She looks down, grabs a rag, and starts wiping up her mess while she says, 揝o how did that go??
揂bout like you抎 expect. He kept making unfunny dad jokes about my last name and my interest in joining his lowly copywriter team. He even mocked my poetry scholarship. Sorry, but not all of us were born with a silver spoon in our mouths. Some of us had to work.?
揟his weirdo owns Haughty But Nice? The whole shebang??Eliza asks.
I nod.
揢nfortunately.?
揟hey own a lot of lines. Do you know what you抣l be writing for??
I don抰 want to say it, much less do it. But I kinda have to, so I should just make my peace with it and move on.
揇akota, hey...you look like you抮e sucking on a lemon and I know it抯 not my food. My stuff never sucks.?She laughs.
揟hey want me on their new luxury line. A wedding campaign. Lucky me.?
Her face falls. A moment passes in dead silence.
揙h. Oh, jeez. Can you...can you do that??Eliza asks softly.
I roll my shoulders in something resembling a shrug.
揑 have to if I want that payday. I抳e written copy for everything under the sun, including a pet cemetery棓
揟hat gig was so sad. But at least the pets were dead.?She shakes her head. 揘ever a dull moment with you around, is there??
揑 can抰 imagine writing for a wedding being tougher than selling doggy plots,?I say miserably.
揈nough! You抮e freaking morbid, but you really don抰 like weddings. You have good reason not to, I mean, and棓
揑 don抰. You抮e right,?I agree with a heavy sigh. I abhor them. 揑f I抎 known they were hiring specifically for a wedding line, I wouldn抰 have applied. But after I got there and found out the Cinnamon Roll King was interviewing me, I couldn抰 do anything but beat the odds or blow myself up spectacularly. Now, I kind of want the job just to prove I can handle it. He needs to know I抦 not intimidated and he has no control over me.?
She grins. 揧ou sure he doesn抰? That sounds like a lot of effort for棓
揌e doesn抰. Okay??I抦 surprised at the sternness in my own voice.
揊air enough. But you抮e spending a lot of time thinking about this guy,?she says gently.
揘ot like I want to. He just keeps popping up in the worst places like a bad rash. I抳e never said anything nice about him.?
She shakes her head slowly, her hair swaying loosely.
揘o, but after Jay...do you really want another dude in your life who抯 nothing but bad news? Even if he抯 not the romantic kind...?
My heart sinks. I ignore her question because we both know the answer.
I grab a vanilla scone and bite it in half.
揑t gets worse,?I tell her, chewing loudly.
揢m, what? Your coffee shop arch-rival is about to be your new boss, and apparently he抯 as hot as he is arctic-hearted. How does it get worse??She takes a long pull off her coffee.
I take a deep breath.
揗y new job, of course. I抣l be reporting directly to him.?
揙h! Oh, shit. That should be...fun??She hesitates.
I glare at her.
揌ardly, but it抯 almost triple my current pay. More than a living wage for once in this city. So, hell yes, I抣l do it. I抦 signing away my soul on lease if I have to spend the rest of my time there with him riding my ass. I抣l put up with a lot for ninety thou.?
揃ig reward, but I抦 being serious now. Are you sure you can handle the wedding stuff? Taking the job to make this prick hurt is one thing, but you抳e done that. Mission accomplished. If it抯 just going to make you miserable, don抰 take it. If the asshat will pay you well, someone else will too. You don抰 have to be desperate.?
I smile, genuinely thankful for her insights.
Eliza always has perspective I don抰.
I slurp my coffee and set the cup down before I answer.
揥ell, it抯 a little awkward, I guess. But I have to move on at some point, right? It抯 been over a year. Weddings are a lucrative industry. I can抰 avoid all things wedding forever if I want to keep my options open梐nd this one screams 'get in.'?
揇akota...?
揑 know. I抣l be fine, I promise. People get jilted all the time. Life doesn抰 just stop with one awful breakup.?I know I抦 saying all the right things. I just wish I could internalize them enough to feel them.
揟rue. You抮e moving on up in the world and you shouldn抰 let anything hold you back,?she says warmly. 揧ou抣l get a condo soon and won抰 even need me feeding you anymore.?
揑f I get a condo, you抣l be my roommate. I can抰 make scones.?
She laughs. 揋lad to know you keep me around for a reason. So, you抳e got a new job title, new pay grade, and soon you抣l have a new place. You just have to do a little dance with the devil. Hey, if you play your cards right, maybe you抣l come out of this with a new marital status too.?
I choke on my scone, shooting her a dirty look when I stop coughing.
揇on抰. Don抰 even joke. There抯 no way in hell. I don抰 believe in weddings or marriage or fairy-tale love梟ot anymore梐nd this guy will never be anything but my boss. The dickhead is my polar opposite. Oh, plus the internet rumors棓
揜umors? You Googled him??
Busted.
揘o. Yes. I mean, only after he interviewed me and said I抎 be reporting directly to him. I just wanted to know who I抦 working for...?
Eliza nods, but her smile says she doesn抰 fully believe me.
揂nd what do the rumors say??
揌e抯 loaded. Big surprise. He抯 also a lot more invisible than most guys with his holdings. The good looks make him a magnet for women who must be sick in the head to overlook his crappy personality梘o figure梥o he takes a lot of flak for being Mr. Undateable.?
Eliza winces.
揟hat抯 rough, but who cares, right? You抮e working for him, not warming his bed. In fact, in HR circles, that抯 a big no-no.?
揝till. It shows you what a fire-breathing jerk he is.?
揂re you okay? You抮e a little red,?she tells me, her eyes widening.
揑抦 just annoyed.?Yeah. More like flustered. Hating that my ticket to financial freedom and a better life involves this bitchslap to the face. 揈ven if the rumor mill didn抰 say he was undateable, his freakout in the coffee shop basically proved it. If I were the sort of girl who believes in cheesy crap like love, I wouldn抰 date a guy who loses his shit over a cinnamon roll.?
揑s that cool, though? Like how will you market weddings? You just said you hate cheese.?
揑f I ever have a dog die, I抣l bury it in my backyard. But that didn抰 keep me from selling puppy plots.?
揧ou don抰 have a backyard. Also, buzzkill.?
揋ood point, but I also don抰 have a dog.?I sigh, sipping my coffee before I continue. 揟hen there were the lame jokes about my last name.?
Eliza sips her coffee. 揑 don抰 get what that has to do with anything.?
揘othing, I guess. Just makes him extra undateable. You抎 think a man so awful could at least make you laugh... I抦 just saying. Why would I ever date a certified bosshole? Why would anyone??