Seeing her like this hurts a hundred times worse than if Troy hurled that blade through me, but having her arms around me梚t抯 like feeling my soul come home.
I抦 about to try helping her to her feet when we抮e both blinded. A blaring spotlight rakes over us and a booming voice speaks through loud helicopter blades, 揢S Coast Guard! Come out with your hands up.?
揥e抮e getting off this ride,?I whisper, kissing her head again. 揅an you walk??
For a second, she just looks at me, her eyes big and glassy like she can抰 decide if she likes what she sees.
揈liza??I urge.
But she sucks in a breath and releases a final hitched sob. Then she抯 limp in my arms.
I stand, panicked, feeling for her pulse, her breathing, her vitals.
They抮e all there, thank God.
The second I scramble off the boat, carrying her, I hand her off to the EMT, who lays her out on a stretcher. A second team rushes past me to Troy, who抯 apparently still alive梐 fact I couldn抰 have imagined feeling so indifferent to an hour ago.
揧ou want to ride to the hospital with her??he asks.
Fuck.
After that parting look, I wonder if she抣l want me there.
Still, I抎 drown myself in this storm before I let anything keep me away.
I have to make sure she抯 okay梐nd if she抯 not, I have to tell her parents. Troy may have made up his mind to murder her, but her winding up in this mess is entirely my fault.
There抯 barely time to tell Destiny to stay with Brock through her machine-gun questions before I ride to the hospital with Eliza.
The whole way there, I lace her fingers through mine, kissing her knuckles.
揚lease be okay. Please wake up so I can apologize for the clueless asshead I抳e been.?My voice cracks as I push my lips to her ear. 揘o matter what happens, Eliza, I抣l always fucking love you.?
After I抦 able to tear myself away from her with multiple warnings from the medical staff, I find Destiny and Brock waiting for me in the lobby.
Dess stands and throws herself at me, a little cannonball looking for a hug. 揂re you okay? Is Eliza...?
揑抦 fine and so is she,?I say.
揌oly crap. That抯 great news. But you don抰 look fine.?She studies my face, her brows knit together.
揓ust a little banged up from the scuffle. It happens when you抮e wrestling an axe away from a maniac,?I grumble, realizing too late I shouldn抰 be spilling too much to Destiny without considering the consequences.
Until he went insane, Troy was an estranged uncle reunited. That has to be hard on her, one more disappointment in a family as tattered as ours.
揝orry, Dess. I didn抰 mean to棓
揧ou can say it, Dad. I don抰 care about Troy. He tried to hurt her. God, he wanted to kill you,?she whispers angrily. 揑 hope they nail his butt to the wall. Like a hundred life sentences.?
I smile. 揙nly a hundred, huh??
揌ow抯 Eliza??she asks eagerly.
揝table. Sounds like she抣l be fine in a day or two. I抦 not family, so I couldn抰 pry much out of the doctors.?I sigh. 揑t抯 been a long night. We抮e going home now, okay??
Brock stares at me. 揧ou抮e sure you don抰 need a checkup yourself, Lancaster??
揑抣l live. Eliza had it a lot worse than I did and she抯 the one worth fussing over. Thank you again, Brock, for everything.?I grab the hand he extends, shaking it with both of mine.
He gives me a tired smile. 揌appy to help. I抣l leave you folks to your business.?
We watch him head down the corridor, and I wonder if I抳e gained a friend to replace the lunatic frenemy I lost tonight.
揥e can抰 just leave her here.?Destiny folds her arms and stares at me, her bottom lip jutting out.
揥hat do you mean? We抮e not family, Dess, and privacy laws are pretty strict.?
揝o? I don抰 care if we wait all night. We can抰 leave Eliza alone.?
揇estiny, she抯 a grown woman. There won抰 even be visiting hours until tomorrow. I just got off the phone with her parents and I owe them another update soon. I promised.?
揊ine, Dad. But she抯 gonna be pissed at you again if she wakes up and you抮e not here,?she flares. Her eyes are sad, accusing me of high crimes I haven抰 committed yet.
揑抦 sorry. I can抰 rewrite the rules of the world, however much I wish I could,?I say bluntly. 揥hen we see Eliza again, it抣l be on her terms, little bee. Understood??
She looks at me angrily before releasing a loud sigh. 揜eally, Dad? You抮e just going to give her space? How well did that work out last time??
I don抰 answer, I just start heading for the lobby.
On the long drive home with an exhausted Tom at the wheel, I realize Destiny is right.
I can抰 let Eliza wake up alone, even if I抦 stuck in a waiting room.
Once we抮e home and I抳e got Destiny fed and off to bed, I call Lincoln Burns.
揥hat抯 up, Lancaster??
揂ny chance I can speak to your darling wife without her wanting to kick me in the balls? I don抰 have her number.?
He chuckles. 揇akota wants your balls crushed? What did you do??
揑t抯 about Eliza.?
揙h. Oh, shit.?I hear soft chatter and a baby laughing in the background. 揑f you guys are busy棓
揘o, it抯 fine,?he clips. 揥hat happened? Is she okay??
揝he抯 in the hospital.?
揇amn. I抦 sorry to hear棓
揌ello? What did you do to her, you lump of numbnuts??Dakota answers sharply, no doubt jerking the phone away from her husband.
I grit my teeth.
I explain the situation, ending with, 揝he抯 okay minus what looks like a few bruises, just resting and under observation. I don抰 want her waking up alone棓
揂nd you left her??
The accusation is as clear as it was when Destiny flung it in my face.
揑抦 on my way back there now. I had to get my teenage daughter settled for the night with a housekeeper to watch the place.?I pause. 揑抣l be there when she wakes up. I抦 just not sure I抣l be the person she wants to see when she opens her eyes, and if I抦 not...?I trail off.
揧ou want me as a backup.?She抯 silent for a long while before she says, 揌oly crap. Maybe you抮e actually a decent guy after all and you do deserve her.?
揑抣l see you in a few,?I say, hearing my phone click off.
She already hung up on me.
I wonder if Dakota Burns is right.
Do I deserve her at all?
My past nearly got her slaughtered tonight, and I left her vulnerable because I wasn抰 man enough for a heart-to-heart before she wound up in a fishing chest.
Troy was right about one thing in his psychotic, babbling attack.
I could have lost her.
My pride, my moodiness, my refusal to face the past on anyone else抯 terms nearly got her killed.
I see my life without her for a moment, spinning through one desolate, cold scene after the next.
Fuck.
Without Eliza, life is bleak.
After tonight, I抎 lay down my life for that woman in a heartbeat ten thousand times.
Regardless, it抯 her choice.
If she wants to walk away from me, I have to let her.
She has a right to peace from my toxic shit storm of a life.
Technically, my mangled past shouldn抰 be a problem anymore with Troy behind bars, but what if he left behind scars? What if she decides all too fairly that my bullshit just isn抰 worth it?
The stakes are so high it hurts.
This is what I get for falling in love with a bright, whip-smart angel who deserves so much more than I can ever give her.
And that angel rules my head all damn night after I make it back to the hospital and collapse in a chair.
I dream of her in that fluttering island dress she wore in Kona, the salty, sassy taste of her lips, the fragrant orchids mingling with her own scent of coffee and mischief.
When a heavy hand on my shoulder wakes me up in the morning, I look up and see Lincoln抯 amused face staring down, a baby balanced in his other arm.
揌ey. She抯 awake now,?he tells me. 揘urse said she started asking for Dakota first thing.?
I stiffen.
Dakota. Not me.
I stand, grabbing the light jacket I抳e had draped over myself like a sheet all night and head for the hallway.
揥ait, you抮e leaving??he asks.