揑 left you in her care and棓
揌old up. You抮e the one who left me at the library that morning. You抳e left me alone before and never worried about it. Something happened when we went to Kona, didn抰 it??She pauses, slowly breathing. 揑抦 fifteen, Dad. You were always pretty fair with me going out as long as I checked in or you knew who I was with. But you抮e freaking out all the time now. It抯 like you think Mom got killed by some psycho or something. Why??
That isn抰 what I think...is it?
I frown.
There may be a whisper of truth to what she said, a wild possibility gnawing at my mind, but it抯 not that serious.
揇id Troy tell you that too??I hold my breath, hoping like hell my supposed friend isn抰 that stupid.
揘o,?she mouths. 揑 think you抮e just on edge. You always were about what happened with Mom, and then with me... It sent your paranoia into overdrive.?
I start to shake my head, but stop because it抯 true.
She抯 right, even if I haven抰 admitted it to myself.
Fucking hell.
Nothing about the last ten years of my life sits well with me, and I抦 not sure why. Maybe it抯 all nerves and adrenaline and paranoid delusions after all.
揂lso, I抦 not dumb. I didn抰 need anyone to tell me all that, Dad. Uncle Troy just helped put things into perspective and like, clarified my own thoughts.?
Did he?
I抎 like to clarify a few things for him梡ossibly with my fist.
揌ow did this come up, Dess??
Her face tightens. 揧ou抳e always said how strange it was that she was wandering around at night. You always said nobody goes to the beach in their heels棓
揧eah.?
揧eah, so, it doesn抰 take a mastermind to figure out what you抮e not saying. You still think something happened to Mom. Something that wasn抰 an accident, or棓 She stops before she says suicide. 揃ut you抳e let it get to your head. You way overreacted with Eliza梱ou were unhinged梐nd all because you can抰 let go of this weird idea that something happened to Mom. She was crazy, Dad. Clinically depressed or whatever, yeah, but crazy. And now you抮e afraid something awful will happen to me.?
I consider my next words carefully.
揧our mom was a lot of things, Destiny, but I wouldn抰 call her insane.?
揝he took her own life!?she whispers sharply, her eyes searching mine. 揧ou know she did. Sane people don抰 kill themselves. It hurts. I hate that she did it. I hate that she couldn抰 get better. I hate that nobody stopped her. But I accept it梐nd I just don抰 get why you can抰??
揧our mom was no angel. Hell, Aster could be pretty self-absorbed sometimes.?My jaw tightens before I continue. 揝till, this suicide doesn抰 make sense with anything she ever said or did. You probably don抰 remember much, but棓
揇ad, I remember a lot more than you think. Mom was acting weird that whole week. She fired my latest nanny and left me with the housekeeper. Kalani and I didn抰 mind. She fed me Hawaiian wedding cake cookies and taught me how to juice pineapple and do laundry.?Destiny bites her lip and looks away. 揑 feel really bad about saying this...but she was more fun than Mom.?
揑t抯 okay to be honest,?I say, looking down as I throw an arm around her shoulders.
揧eah, well, Mom was running in and out all week. Way more than usual, I think, and always saying she had some wellness class or yoga thing. Then one day she slipped out without ever slipping back in.?
I study her sad eyes, trying to decide how much of this memory is real, and what parts were invented to cope with a brutal loss.
揥hat? Why are you looking at me like that??she asks.
揑 took you to a child psychologist not long after it happened. You got so quiet on us I knew you were hurting. The doctor had you draw a lot.?I pause, smiling dryly at the memory. 揧ou drew your mother as an angel once. She gave you toys and watched you play. We tried talking about therapy and I checked her work with a few other shrinks. They all agreed you didn抰 have any concrete memories of losing your mother, besides her leaving and not coming back. You didn抰 have deep memories beyond playing with her, having her do your hair, things like that.?
揑 don抰 remember much,?she agrees. 揑 used to think I mentally blocked her out. But when I was talking to Troy, I remembered bits and pieces of that last week she was alive...?
Why did he put his goddamned mouth where it doesn抰 belong?
揌e stayed with us for about a week before it happened, but I don抰 think Troy was around enough to know all of that.?I made a point to be home with my family when I wasn抰 working. I never knew Aster left Destiny alone with Kalani.
揑t doesn抰 matter. The point is, the cops told you their theories. The investigator told you it was suicide, right? Case closed. Can we just cry it out one more time and move on??
Something she just said catches my attention.
My body tenses like an arrow.
I抦 almost afraid I know the answer to the next question before I ask, 揥ho told you that??
揥hat??
揟hat my PI said it was a suicide.?
She stares at me. 揑 told you. Uncle Troy said棓
揟here. Right there.?The words come out like bullets. 揑 never told Troy what the investigator found. He couldn抰 have known that.?
Not without some serious underhanded fuckery, anyway.
Not unless he contacted my own PI.
揥ait. What??She holds my gaze. 揧ou抮e serious??
揧ep.?And even if I抎 told him, Troy has no business whatsoever talking to my daughter about her mom抯 death, especially without my knowledge.
What the fuck game does he think he抯 playing梐nd why?
I抦 not waiting around to find out. I find the jackass in my contacts and hit Call.
His line rings until it goes to voicemail.
揇ad??Destiny squeaks.
I抦 already dialing him again as I glance at my daughter. 揧es??
揥hat did the investigator find? Talk to me!?
Gut punch.
I can抰 tell her it was a definite suicide in the man抯 opinion. I don抰 think he had all the facts, and now I wonder if he was actually working for me at all.
With Troy creeping around behind my back, I don抰 know what the fuck to think.
揑 haven抰 had a chance to assess his full report,?I say. Close enough to the truth.
She nods.
I call Troy again as my blood boils.
And again.
Again.
No matter how many times I try, I keep getting his damn voicemail.
Finally, I pound out a text without giving a single shit how it sounds, Coward, pick up your phone. Did you think I wouldn抰 find out about these little therapy sessions you抳e been having with my daughter?
I try calling again. This time, a loud ping interrupts, announcing an incoming text.
Snarling, I jerk the phone away from my ear and glance at it.
Eliza. She just texted me with the world抯 worst timing.
I open it anyway and it抯 just梐 picture of this hellish rainfall and a mile marker heading out of town?
I can feel my face darkening as I glare at the screen.
揇ad? What抯 wrong??Dess asks nervously.
揑 don抰 know.?I put the privacy screen down again and lean forward. 揅hange of plans, Tom. I need to get to mile marker 237. Can you take me there??I hold out my phone for him to see.
He deftly looks at my phone and then back at the road.
揑 can take you, boss, but in this soup, it might take a solid hour.?
Not what I want to hear.
揓ust get us there as soon as you can.?
揥here are we going??Destiny asks, exasperated. 揥ill someone tell me what抯 going on??
揘owhere,?I growl.
揅抦on. You just gave Tom new directions. We抮e going somewhere and you don抰 want to tell me. Are you ever not going to treat me like a kid??
She抣l always be my kid. I just don抰 tell her because I don抰 have the patience for another longwinded argument right now.
揥e抮e going to a mile marker.?
揥here??
揝omewhere south toward Olympia, hugging the coast. I don抰 think Eliza抯 heading for SeaTac International like she planned. She抯 going the wrong way and I have to help.?
揥hat did she say??Destiny clenches my arm, her eyes wide.
揝he just sent a picture of the mile marker in the rain. Nothing else.?