Grinning like a fool, I grind fresh peaberry beans and start the best brew of my life.
I抳e pushed the recipe closer to perfection over the last few days, using a lower flame for a longer brewing time.
This won抰 be a fifteen-dollar cup of coffee by the time I抦 through. More like twenty-five bucks of absolute luxury.
The scarcity of the peaberries isn抰 the only thing commanding a higher price tag. Process adds a premium.
Each batch of this stuff takes at least twice as long to brew as a more basic bean.
And I don抰 mind the longish brewing time when it lets me flop down on my lounge chair and remember the way Cole kissed me梬hen Dess barging in was the only reason that encounter stayed PG-13梐nd then vanished for three days and counting.
Hi, I抦 an idiot. Nice to meet you.
Seriously.
You抎 think I would have learned my lesson the last time a skeezy older man played racquetball with my heart, but apparently I抦 a sucker for punishment. Or is it a chump for Lump?
Same old heart trap, and I walked right into the snare. Again.
Thinking about Derek feels like summoning the devil. The saddest moments of my life replay like a cringe compilation video.
My chest burns.
All the peaberry sweetness and double rainbows in the world can抰 make up for the way I let that wretched man crawl up inside me.
Two Years Ago
I抦 sitting behind my desk at this god-awful legal firm梛ust a three-week temp job, thank God梬hen he strolls in.
I look up like I feel a presence.
Of course, I do.
He抯 that kind of man, the sort who holds a room spellbound the second he enters.
Thick blond hair tumbles around his face like a mane, framing those pale-blue eyes. His three-piece suit hangs perfectly off his body. He looks like the hero in every cheesy rom-com movie ever made梠nly, there抯 nothing funny about the way his eyes rake over me.
揝o Michael finally traded in his secretary? I approve of the upgrade,?he says with a self-assured smile.
What else can I do but smile back? 揙h, I抦 just the temp. Lydia抯 out on maternity leave.?
揅ould you let him know I抦 here? Derek Stevens.?
揥ill do.?I pick up the phone and call the attorney抯 office. Voicemail. 揑 think he抯 in a meeting, Mr. Stevens. I抦 getting his voicemail. Would you like a coffee while you wait??
揟hat would be stellar,?he says.
揂ny particular flavor??
揟here抯 a menu now??He grins like a movie star. 揇amn, lady, you are a big improvement.?
揚ersonal pet peeve.?I clear my throat. 揑 can抰 stand the canned stuff in the break room, so I brought a couple fresh blends I roasted myself...?
Oh, how those blue eyes ignite with surprise.
揑mpressive. Anything抯 fine, really,?he says with a friendly nod. I feel his eyes linger as I turn around and hear him call, 揑 don抰 suppose I could convince a beautiful new lady to have one with me while I wait? Or would that be asking too much??
Oh, God.
This isn抰 me.
I can抰 believe how I smile back at him over my shoulder. I never smile at strange men who hit on me in public.
Let抯 blame it on the sexy eyes and million-dollar good looks.
I brew up two cups of Madagascar vanilla in no time. When he takes his first sip, his head falls back and he groans. I almost have to look away when he pinches his thigh like he抯 dreaming.
揌oly shit,?he whispers, his eyes snapping to mine. 揧ou said you抮e a temp, Miss??
揈liza,?I offer.
And that抯 how he offers me a job I decline, laughing the whole time.
But it gets us talking for almost an hour until Michael finally emerges from his office with a scowl left by his conference call.
By the end of our conversation, a few things are clear.
Derek is seventeen years older than me.
He owns a major film company with a degree from UCLA, and he despises Hollywood so much he only flies back there from his hometown, Seattle, whenever he absolutely must.
He admires my big caf?dreams, even when I turn down his office job.
He also walks away with my number, and he calls me that night.
We don抰 have coffee again.
Instead, we bond over a three-hundred-dollar bottle of champagne at one of the finest oyster bars in the city, and then in a lavish hotel room overlooking Elliott Bay.
After that, we抮e rarely apart.
He抯 a busy man梕ven when he抯 not traveling梐nd he tells me the high-end rooms are just so he can escape and clear his head. They抮e his special oasis with a special lady, where he can be the special man he tells special me I totally deserve.
And I believe him like the lovesick little fool I抳e become.
Despite the fact that he always slips out before I wake up the next morning with a delicious breakfast alone and the room paid for, I don抰 even question it.
A month later, he meets my parents.
They don抰 like that he抯 so much older, but they don抰 complain about how respectful he is.
Dad says Derek is protective. He抣l take care of me.
Mom claps her hands together and says he抯 besotted and kind, and 搊h, honey, these true gentlemen are so rare.?
I even mention him to Wayne when I drop by to dress up Wired Cup抯 latest very average fall beverage line of pumpkin spice lattes, and he抯 a little more suspicious.
Life isn抰 a fairy tale that throws Prince Charmings at you out of nowhere. I need to be careful, take it slow, but he respects my choices.
Three months later, Derek whisks me away to the Four Seasons on a trip to L.A. We抮e in the valet line. He takes my hands and stares into my eyes.
揑抦 so fucking tired of sleeping alone, Eliza. I can抰 wait to wake up next to you,?he whispers.
揑 love you,?I slip as my heart bursts into butterflies.
He leans over and kisses me like I抦 the best thing he抯 ever tasted. 揗e too.?
The driver knocks on the window.
Derek hands him the keys and holds my door open.
We don抰 fuck like we usually do.
We make love for the first time that night. My first time ever having sex with real, deep feelings attached.
It抯 like losing your virginity for the second time, only far more intense.
It抯 not like the way it looks in movies.
I come so hard it hurts.
Then I stare at the ceiling, gripping him so tight my legs go sore when he groans and collapses on top of me, but the way he holds me after...
It抯 so very delicious, so sweet, so beautiful I抎 do it a thousand times over.
Nothing compares to the pure bliss of waking up with him the next day, or the anticipation of falling asleep in his arms again.
Nothing.
But a month later, it happens.
Derek has to go to Vancouver for a long weekend to check out some locations for a future film. No big deal.
I head back to San Diego on a whim with a couple friends from high school. We head over to Anaheim and visit Disney.
And in the It抯 a Small World line, a devastating irony.
The love of my life stands there, surreal and inexplicable.
揇erek!?I call. 揇erek, what are you doing here??
He turns around. The happy grin on his face melts into sheer dread.
Weird. But maybe he doesn抰 recognize me in my thick sunglasses and new blue highlights in my ponytail.
Is he just surprised to see me?
I run toward him with my arms outstretched.
He steps out of line with his hands out, guarded, as if he wants to shove me away.
揈liza, what the hell are you doing here??he says coldly.
I crash into his chest, closing my arms around him.
揢m, I抦 just here with friends. But I thought you were in Vancouver this weekend??
His isn抰 hugging me back with the same adoring reverence he always does.
Why?
揇ad? Who抯 she??a kid who looks like she might be nine or ten asks.
She抯 talking to Derek.
I drop my arms and stumble back, the blood draining from my face. My eyes trace from Derek to the kid who has his eyes and back to him.
揙h... You didn抰 tell me you had a daughter.?I抦 careful to keep my voice steady.
I抦 understanding and open-minded. He should have just told me.
Then a tall blonde holding a baby arrives at his side, her lips pursed in a razor-sharp line. 揇erek? Who抯 this??