“No. I wanted recognition for how good I was, because I deserved it.” It’s what he says, but something in the memory makes him lower his head. “Instead, you moved on to those who were struggling, instead of commending those who got it right the first time around. Maybe I impressed myself, and maybe a few others there, too, but I sure as hell didn’t impress the one guy I thought I should, you.”
“Why’d you care what I thought?” I’m not just blowing smoke. I honestly don’t know where he’s going with this.
“I told you: because I was supposed to be better than you. At least, that’s what I kept telling myself….”
Joey stares out into the deserted lot, where an old rusty Buick is parked in the corner. “I think everyone knew how good I was,” he says. “But where they saw confidence in you, they found arrogance in me. I was placed with you for a reason. So maybe one day, I could be better. The thing was, since I wasn’t impressed by you, I didn’t see it for the gift the higher-ups meant it to be.”
I don’t move, mostly because the claws ripping their way down to my soul won’t let me.
“You know why I’m stuck in this chair?” he asks, his voice cracking.
Christ. I look hard at the pavement, realizing he’s crying. “Because I didn’t do my job,” I admit.
“No,” he gasps, trying to speak. “It’s because I didn’t do mine.”
I turn in his direction, watching the tears pour out of him like a faucet.
“When you went to cuff that perp, I housed my weapon instead of covering you. I was rolling my eyes at how you were taking your time talking him down—thinking you were nothing but a * when you yelled ‘Gun!’ The first shot was meant for you and it just missed your head. I barely had time to yank my piece out of my holster. But as fast as I was, I wasn’t fast enough.” Joey breaks down then, his voice forcing its way through his sobs. “I’m sorry. Jesus Christ, Curran, I’m so fucking sorry….”
Tess
I lift my phone to check the time. Declan is worn out and starting to make his exit, and Curran still hasn’t shown.
Finn’s whistle has me looking to the door. “You girls ready?” he calls.
I lift my purse and weave my way through the crowd with Wren at my heels. We join her brothers minus Curran at the door. “Any word from Curran?” Killian asks me.
“No. I’m not sure what’s keeping him.”
Declan places his arm around me and leads me forward. “Come on. I’ll take you to my place so you won’t be alone. We can wait for him there.” He turns before leaving and waves, inciting the crowd who gathered to cheer.
Seamus laughs as we step out. “Yo. Attention Philly and all your lowly inhabitants—even youz all the way in Kensington!” he yells. “May I present the one and only Declan O’Brien, your future king and possibly the best-dressed male outside of Lower Merion Township!”
“Fuck off,” Declan says, shoving him back and joining the others in their laughter.
I used to think Declan was so staid and proper. But in his family’s presence, I see the roughhousing Philly boy Curran’s always described. Although Declan’s more serious in a professional atmosphere, I’m glad he’s finally comfortable enough around me to show this side.
As Declan and his brothers continue to joke, my thoughts return to Curran. His group counseling sessions are often intense. I’m worried tonight was harder than he let on.
Sofia inches closer and places her hand on my shoulder. “I’m sure Curran has a good excuse for not being here.”
I try to smile. “I know. I just wish he would have come.”
“Will we see you for lunch at our place tomorrow?” she asks, quietly.
I nod. “Yes. We’ll be there.”
After a brief round of goodbyes, Declan leads me to his beautiful sedan with tinted windows. His place of honor at the impromptu celebration secured him a spot in front of the pub. I slip inside when he opens his passenger-side door for me, but the sight of Melissa exiting the building distracts him from shutting the door.
He nods graciously her way and offers what most would consider a dashing smile.