Curran pulls into the lot and parks, slamming the emergency brake down when he sees my face. “What’s wrong?”
I let out a breath, trying to compose myself. I’ve been a mess since this morning when the giant blue plus sign confirmed my pregnancy results. My first instinct was to phone Curran at the precinct, but this is news I couldn’t share through a call or text.
“Tess, what is it? And don’t tell me nothing’s wrong, ’cause it damn well is.”
I take another breath as I watch the oncoming guard park across from us. “Inside, okay?”
Curran throws open the door and slams it shut behind him. He hurries to my side, but I can’t wait, knowing I’m moments from breaking down. The stress of my week coupled with the news that I’m pregnant is too much.
I swing open the door and leap out, rushing past him and toward the back doors. Curran catches up to me, but he waits to speak until I hit the door to the elevator. “You’re freaking me out. Tell me what’s wrong.”
I shake my head. I mean to tell him to please wait, and to give me a moment, but I know if I speak now, I’ll only cry. He places his arm around me and kisses my head. “Baby,” he says.
His choice of words makes me clasp my mouth to hold back my sobs. Good God, I can’t believe this is happening.
Curran doesn’t say anything more until we reach his apartment and he’s shut the door tight. Despite the tears blurring my vision, I make it to the couch and sit. He lowers himself beside me. For all his distress, he keeps his voice quiet. “Is this about your dad? Did he do something to you? You need to come clean and tell me what he did.”
“It’s not about him,” I assure him. At least, not yet. But I know Father would make it about him if he knew. “It’s about me.”
“Are you sick? Jesus, don’t tell me you’re sick.”
I clutch his hand when he reaches for me. “I’m not sick, Curran.”
“Then what could be so bad? Did you get your grades?”
I nod, grateful for the momentary distraction. “I received them a few hours ago. I didn’t think my final debate went well, but my professor emailed me to tell me I received the highest score in my class.” I release a shaky breath. “In fact, I excelled in all my exams and made high honors.”
Curran’s entire face lights up before he seizes me in a tight embrace. “Holy shit.”
I cry against his chest, my fear, excitement, and shock releasing all at once. “The head of the department emailed earlier to congratulate me, and to inform me that I’m graduating in the top three percent of my class.”
“Tess, that’s awesome. I’m so proud—”
“And I’m pregnant.”
It’s as if he dies, right there against me. Curran doesn’t move, nor does he breathe.
The burden of my secret releases every emotion burning its way into my heart. I don’t have a best friend to confide in, or a mother to speak to. The only person I have is Curran.
I wait for words of comfort that never come, or possibly even disappointment and anger. But in the silence-filled minutes that pass, I start to fear the worst. Very carefully, I inch away to meet his eyes.
Curran doesn’t meet me with his “cop” face. He’s not angry. Isn’t sad. Isn’t anything. He simply sits there, blinking, his expression absent of any emotion.
I clasp his hands as they fall away from me, squeezing them to remind him that I’m still here. He doesn’t squeeze back. His hands simply lie as unmoving as the rest of him. I allow them to slip from my grasp and release yet another breath. “I need you to say something.”
He swallows hard. “I thought you were on the Pill.”
I lift my glasses and wipe a tear away with my fingertips. “Okay. That wasn’t it.”
He leans forward and rubs his eyes. “Sorry, I just…How did this happen?”