“Oh, Alex was born a Dom. We met in college and Ian had already introduced him to the lifestyle.” God. What was she doing? She was gabbing like a schoolgirl, like a woman who was still married, telling her girlfriends how they met. Eve clammed up. She wasn’t a girl and she wasn’t like Avery. She cleared her throat. “But that’s a boring story. Did you find out if the baby’s a boy or a girl yet?”
“We won’t know for another couple of weeks,” Avery said, her eyes focused on Eve as though she was trying to decide just how far to push. “But it doesn’t matter. We’ll be happy either way. I heard Serena’s having a boy.”
Jake and Adam had done nothing but talk about their future son. Everyone was moving on with their lives. It was just she and Alex and Ian who were stuck, and Ian couldn’t help it. He hadn’t found the right woman.
Eve knew she’d found the right man. Alex was still here. He was still in her bed some nights. She could reach for him, hold him tight.
Lately she’d been wondering if they shouldn’t try again. Lately the memories had started to fade and she found herself reaching for Alex again. She’d started remembering things fondly. Their wedding day. She’d found photos in a box in her closet, and she’d stared at them for the longest time, thinking how handsome he’d been. He didn’t smile in the pictures. No, not Alex McKay. He smirked in the sweetest way, those upturned lips a testament to how satisfied he’d been with the day. In the picture she’d finally placed on one of the bookcases in her office, Ian and Sean had been standing beside Alex, all three of them so arrogant she had to laugh.
And her momma and dad had been beaming out.
It couldn’t hurt to pull that old picture out, she’d told herself. It was just a nice memory. But placing that picture where she could see it had her thinking.
Hell, Avery and Liam had her thinking.
What if they could start over?
“How long did it take you after Brandon died to want to try again?” The question was out before she could really think it through, and she wished immediately that she could take it back. It was rude. It was intrusive. “I am so sorry. We’re not in a therapy session. That was uncalled for.”
Avery reached out again. Eve got the feeling she would just keep right on trying even after Eve pushed her away, so she should just give in, let Avery hold her hand. “Hey, I know you’re a professional, but you should remember that sometimes friends are therapy, too. And it was a long time. I had a lot to work through. I had a lot of rage and anger and bitterness.”
Somehow she couldn’t see Avery being bitter for a second.
Avery seemed to sense what she was thinking. “Hey, I’m human, too. I hated the world for a while, but one day I woke up and I realized I didn’t want to live my life that way. I had to make a choice. I could be angry about the past or I could try to find a future. It sounds simple.”
Eve shook her head, surprised at how emotional she was getting. She never cried, but the tears were right there, threatening and somehow sweet. “No. It’s not simple at all.”
It was a decision she had yet to make.
“A divorce can be like a death,” Avery said gently.
Eve took a long breath. “It wasn’t the divorce that hurt me. I mean, it did, but something else happened and I don’t think I’ve gotten over it.” That was a lie. She knew damn well she hadn’t gotten over it. “I’ve done all the therapy, but I’m just now starting to think that I want to move on with my life.”
Her grieving process had been long and painful for them both, but she was finally at the point where she might be able to accept that Alex had changed. He’d been so distant after Michael Evans had nearly killed her. He’d said all the right things. He’d told her he loved her and that nothing had changed, but he’d left her alone when she needed him most. He’d gotten obsessed with revenge.
“I need to make a choice. I need to try again or let Alex go.” Saying it out loud was a huge weight off her chest. God, she actually felt lighter.
“Are you joking, Evie?” Liam asked. Damn. She hadn’t heard him return. He slid into the booth, placing his hand over Avery’s and hers, lending his support. “Because you can’t imagine how much better we would all feel if you were serious. I worry about you, girl.”
It had been years since she’d led a real therapy session. Not since her college days. She’d left counseling for profiling, but she hadn’t forgotten one truth about therapy. Sometimes it took the right words to reach a person. A therapist could say the same thing a hundred different ways, but only one of them would reach inside the subject and plant a seed. It was why a therapist shouldn’t give up.
She thought about her wedding day picture. What did she owe that girl in the picture? What did she owe the Eve she had been? What did she owe her parents, who still loved her?
What did she owe the husband she’d loved from the moment she’d met him?
“I want to try. Li, do you think you could help me with something? I want to surprise Alex at Sanctum tonight. I think I might want to renegotiate that contract of ours.”
Liam smiled and promised to help as the waitress brought their food.
Avery, who had promised she didn’t want bacon, stole her husband’s.