“Oh come on. You were hot. I didn’t think you’d notice a nobody like me.”
“Everybody’s somebody,” he said as Ruth’s mother touched her arm.
“We need to go,” Bev reminded. “Can’t be late.”
Ruth nodded at Ethan, reluctant to leave.
“There’s a lemonade social after the service,” he said, handing a fan to Bev before they walked in. “I hope to see you both there.”
Organ music filled the small, airy church as they slid into a pew in the second row.
“You know Coach Starr?” her mother asked under her breath.
Ruth leaned back against the cool wood of the pew. “From high school,” she answered, trying to keep it simple. “He’s a coach now?”
Bev shushed her and handed her a song book as a flourish of organ music signaled the first song.
There was comfort to be had in some church rituals, but during the first two songs and opening reading Ruth had trouble keeping her thoughts from straying. Thoughts of Ethan Starr were like mind candy, and she wondered if he was single, why he’d come back to town, what had become of his rodeo career. She longed to twist around in the pew like a five-year-old and search the congregation for his earnest blue eyes. Restraint, she reminded herself.
*
Ruth’s interest was drawn back to the moment when her father focused his sermon on the tragedies that had befallen Prairie Creek in the past few days. He intoned gravely, “I invite you to join me in praying for the safe return of Addie Donovan, a young lady from this congregation. Her parents, Debra and Jeremy, are here with us, and I pray that they’ll feel a groundswell of God’s love and support.”
It was more compassion than she had ever seen from Robert McFerron. He spoke of the importance of pulling together as a community to support families in crisis and maintain the safety of children and young people. “God bless Addie Donovan and her family.”
Would you have talked that way if I had been snatched away in high school? Would you have supported me if you found out I was raped?
Shifting on the pew, Ruth realized her father was a fine public speaker, but a lousy human being. Handsome, engaging, narcissistic, and quick to find fault, Rob McFerron had been a charming but harsh father. For a preacher looking to ward followers off sin, that quality could be helpful, but Ruth had learned the hard way that a hypercritical bent made a man a terrible father or husband. How had her mother put up with it all these years?
Ruth knew how unbearable a man like that could be; she’d been married to one too. So classic to marry a man like your father, warts and all. She had hooked up with Sterling Baker because he seemed so sure of right and wrong. But as she grew and learned to stand on her own two feet, she felt smothered by Sterling’s way of life. It was a relationship so tight, she could barely breathe.
Five years ago, when she asked for space, Sterling refused to let go. For a time, she worried that he would snap and get violent. She began making preparations to leave Santa Barbara, knowing that she was walking a tenuous line by taking their daughter out of state without having full custody. She began to take Penny to their favorite places in Santa Barbara—the palm-lined beach, the pier, the zoo. They went for pancakes at Sambos and ice cream at McConnell’s on State Street. In Ruth’s mind, they were saying good-bye before heading across the country to anonymity.
Thank God, Penny had proven to be the great equalizer. Sterling could be selfish and depraved, but even he would not knowingly harm their child. Besides, he’d started having an affair with Suki, so he had a woman to take Ruth’s place.
She had been grateful when he found Suki and started a family; he’d even lost interest in playing father to Penny, agreeing to let her move back to Wyoming with Ruth so that he could focus on his wife, and his twin sons, designer dogs, and sports cars.
“Brothers and sisters, let us pray,” her father said, spreading his hands wide. “Father God, we ask that you grant the safe return of Addie Donovan.”
“Amen,” the congregants agreed.
“And God bless the soul of Courtney Pearson,” said the minister. “May she rest in peace.”
“Amen,” said Ruth softly, thinking: There but for the grace of God go I.
*
After the service, the Donovans were surrounded by congregants who lined up to offer support. Ruth went to the opposite end of the reception room, deciding to wait for now and avoid overwhelming the tense couple. She saw Jan Pearson, bent over and pressing a handkerchief to her mouth, being guided away by a man and woman, whom she believed were Rachel Byrd’s parents. Ruth’s heart ached. She wanted to offer them all comfort, but sensed that Jan, and maybe the Byrds as well, wanted to escape too much attention. Earlier she’d thought she’d recognized Erin Higgins’s parents, but they were nowhere to be seen now.
Then she saw Cal Haney in line with a short, doe-eyed woman, his wife, and her decision to back off from the man was affirmed, especially when he spotted her and gave her a wink.
She moved toward the refreshment table in the corner, saying hello to a few people who remembered her from high school as she passed. Her return to Prairie Creek had made her realize how isolated she had become in high school after the trauma. With no friends and no emotional access to her parents, she had spent the last two years of high school in a stoic zombie mode, pushing herself to survive, get her diploma, and escape this place.
As she sipped a glass of lemonade, she overheard people talking about the Prairie Creek football team, one man encouraging the other about a son who had been dropped from the roster last year because of grades.
“Wyatt’s a gifted player. He’s pretty tricky out there as a running back. Let him know that this is his time for a second chance. If he can apply himself and get the grades this year, I’d be thrilled to play him.” The coach’s voice was low and gravelly. She shot a glance over and saw that it was Ethan.
“I’ll let the boy know,” the player’s father said. “Coming from you, Coach, that’ll mean a lot to him.”
“And you tell him that we can get him with a tutor if he needs help with academics. It’s up to him. If he’s willing to apply himself, there’s no limit to where he can go.”
“Thanks, Coach. Much appreciated.”
As the player’s parent walked away, Ethan turned to Ruth. “And that would be the summer recruitment portion of my day.”
She laughed. “So you’re the football coach. You must be pretty popular.” Out here, high school football was the only thing happening on a Friday night. “Still competing in rodeo?”
“Not for years. That last bronc ride earned me a spinal injury, and I had to switch professions from entertainment to education.”
“Oh no.”
“Nah, it’s fine. I give horseback riding lessons out at the Dillinger ranch, but mostly I’ve moved on to teaching and coaching.”
“Do you miss the rodeo?”
“I’m pretty happy where I am. Though it appears I’m a disappointment to my father.”
“Really? He says that?”