Still, I couldn’t shake the feeling that something else was going on.
Unease settled in my gut, and I returned my attention to my write-up about the school’s art fair. From beside me on my desk, my phone vibrated and lit up with a new text.
999-855-5955: Where was your boyfriend this afternoon?
Bailey: I changed my number for a reason, Luke.
999-855-5955: Oh, I think you’ll be happy I tracked you down.
A photo attachment followed. Fear creeped in as I dragged my fingers across the screen, zooming in. It was Chase on the porch of a green house. The door was open, and Kristen was standing in the doorway.
No.
A familiar form of agony settled in: betrayal. Just like with Luke. Learning about this from him was beyond ironic, like everything was coming full circle. My mind backpedaled, frantically searching for a reasonable explanation. Maybe the picture was old, from before. But then why would Luke even have it?
From inside my bedroom, I heard Shiv answer the door and let Chase in. When he crossed the threshold into my room, his posture was stiff, and his eyes were haunted. He even looked guilty.
“Hi.” He stuffed his hands into the pockets of his jeans, leaning against the doorframe.
More alarm bells went off in my head when he didn’t come close and give me a hug or kiss hello.
“Where were you earlier?” I was too upset to be strategic about how I approached what was going on, and his standoffish behavior was only causing me further panic.
“Practice,” he said. “Look, we need to—”
My heart sank. Strike one. He lied.
I cut him off, giving him a sharp look. “You sure about that?”
“What do you mean?” Chase frowned, but guilt swam in his eyes.
“Did you make any other stops along the way?”
Please tell me the truth. Please own up to it.
“I had to do a few things, yeah.”
Pushing my desk chair back, I stood, watching his face carefully. My pulse revved. “Was Kristen one of them?”
Chase broke eye contact and looked at the floor, shaking his head. Almost inaudibly, he muttered, “Of course.”
“What the hell is going on, Carter?”
There had to be an explanation for this. There had to be a good reason he was there, and he was going to tell me what it was. I trusted him. I believed in him.
He looked back up at me with so much anguish in his eyes that tears welled up in my own. “Nothing happened with her. I swear.”
Yeah, I’d heard that line before—a few too many times. But never from him. None of this made sense.
And the worst part was that it felt like he was telling the truth.
I sucked in a jagged breath and sank my teeth into my bottom lip to stop myself from crying. “Then why were you there?”
“I—” He faltered, shaking his head. “Can’t.”
My voice cracked. “Please tell me. I want the truth.”
This was not happening. Could not be happening. This was the guy who’d been there for me unconditionally, even when I pushed him away. Who’d been nothing but patient and kind and—most of all—honest with me. Sometimes brutally so.
“No,” he said more firmly. A flicker of his usual self-assured demeanor appeared, but it disappeared almost as quickly. “I haven’t even looked at anyone else since I met you. I think you know that.”
“I thought I did too, but I need an alternate explanation.”
I took a step, followed by another, and drew closer to him until we were within arm’s reach. His jaw ticked as he watched me, but he didn’t move. Neither of us moved. I searched his face, probing, like I might see into his brain if I tried hard enough.
“I need you to trust me, James.” The muscles in his neck were strained, his voice matching.
A strangled sob escaped from the back of my throat. “How can I trust you when you won’t give me an answer?”
“I love you more than anything in this world, but I can’t give you that.” His eyes held mine, pained but unreadable. “And we can’t…” He let out a heavy sigh. “I can’t be with you right now.”
My world shattered at my feet.
“What?” I shuffled back, putting space between us like it would somehow protect my heart. “How can you—how can you say you love me and then turn around and do this? You don’t want to be with me anymore? Just like that?”
Chase started to reach for me and caught himself, dropping his hands to his sides. He balled his hands into fists, flexing and releasing. “That’s not—I want to be with you more than I want anything.”
“Right,” I retorted angrily. “Except you’re choosing not to.” An ache erupted in my chest, so consuming that I thought I might literally be having a heart attack. I loved him. He loved me. I knew both of those things to be true, so how could this be happening?
It was like learning everything I thought to be true was a lie.
“I’m sorry,” he said. “This is what’s best.”
I opened my mouth to respond, but the words didn’t appear. We stared at each other, bathed in unspoken words and unanswered questions. The silence stretched on and on while my heart bled out on the bedroom floor, one beat at a time.
Finally, he cleared his throat. “I should go.”
With another pained look, he turned and started for my bedroom door. Still frozen to the spot with disbelief, I watched him disappear into the hall. Moments later, the sound of the front door shutting quietly behind him followed.
Tears erupted in earnest, accompanied by huge, gulping sobs. I couldn’t stop the tears, couldn’t catch my breath, couldn’t make sense of what Chase had said. Everything we had was gone. And I still didn’t understand why.
“Bailey?” Shiv called. “Are you okay?”
“No.”
Seconds later, she stepped into my room. When she caught sight of me, she rushed over and threw her arms around me. “What happened?”
My voice cracked. “I don’t know.”
OceanofPDF.com
CHAPTER 55
OceanofPDF.com
48 HOURS
Chase
Fuck my life.
I guess I just did.
“Think about it, James. We would have really tall kids. They would be giants.”
“You’re drunk, Carter. Cute, but drunk.”
OceanofPDF.com
BAILEY
Blinking in disbelief, I reread the email on my screen.
“Dear Ms. James, we are delighted to inform you that you have been selected to receive full tuition funding for the upcoming academic year…”
My chest pulled tight as the words blurred. I got it. I got the scholarship.
It was a hollow victory when Chase had blown up my world recently. I still couldn’t wrap my head around what happened. He showed up looking like someone died, broke things off with zero warning, gave me no explanation, and left. Just walked out the door without looking back.
Since then, radio silence. No calls, no texts, nothing.
I’d been going in circles ever since, trying to figure out what went wrong, what to do now, and how to make sense of it. I’d picked up the phone and selected his contact at least a dozen times—either out of sheer habit or because a surge of resentment would hit me and I wanted answers. Hell, I deserved answers, far better ones than the half-assed excuses he gave me. But every time my finger hovered over his name, I’d freeze. Hurt, anger, confusion, pride…a million things held me back.