Of course, he never would have been on that helicopter if I hadn’t guilt-tripped him into coming home. It was my first season on a top-tier team, and all I’d been thinking about was myself. I never should have asked him to come.
I would never forget the way my mother had screamed when she received that phone call. The way she sank to her knees in the middle of our kitchen. The way a light went out inside her that never fully returned.
A knot formed in my stomach, and I drew in a deep breath, but it did little to quell the sensation.
“Why was he in New Jersey?” Bailey asked softly. “For work?”
I snapped back to reality. How long had I zoned out for?
“He played for them at the time. He had just been traded from New York, and we were still trying to sell our house.”
Her thumb skated along my skin, easing some of the tension I was holding. “Did he play hockey with you when you were growing up?”
“All the time,” I said, still avoiding her eyes. Talking about him made me feel nostalgic, sad, and uneasy all at once. “He’s why I started playing.”
“You must have loved watching him on TV.”
“Sure did.” I took a sip of my beer. Time to steer the conversation in another direction. It was easier to talk about my asshole stepdad.
“As far as Rick goes,” I said, “I have to qualify this by saying that my mom’s not a bad person. She never quite recovered after my dad died. It was like she was broken. Lost.”
More specifically, my mom didn’t get out of bed for a month and a half after the helicopter crash. After that, it was a merry-go-round of meds and therapy, a few good days sprinkled into a lot of bad. My happy, fun-loving mother disappeared and never returned. And my rebellious teenager stage did our relationship no favors—especially with Rick in the picture.
These days, we got along, even if we weren’t close.
Bailey nodded. “I can imagine. It must have been devastating to your whole family.”
She wasn’t wrong. I think I’d been off-course ever since.
“Once she started dating again a year or so later, she dated a string of losers. Unemployed deadbeat types, probably after her for my dad’s money. One guy, Mitch, was a straight-up alcoholic.” I hesitated, weighing whether to continue.
Generally speaking, I hardly ever raised my voice. At my size, I didn’t need to in order to get the point across. Even when I got into fights in hockey, I wasn’t angry, per se. Annoyed maybe, or thinking someone needed sense knocked into them after a cheap hit, but not mad.
I could count the number of times I’d lost my temper on one hand.
But if I had a sore spot, it was men disrespecting or hurting women. Also see: Morrison.
“He pushed her against the fridge one night, and I beat the shit out of him.”
James might worry that I had anger issues, but it happened; I couldn’t rewrite history. Wouldn’t want to, either. He deserved it.
Her eyes widened. “How old were you?”
“I was thirteen. But I was big for my age, and I was fucking pissed. He didn’t know what hit him.”
“I believe it,” she said. “I’ve seen you fight.”
“Anyway, having a difficult preteen the size of an adult wasn’t a big selling point. I scared most of her boyfriends off, intentionally or not. Rick wasn’t the worst of them by a long shot—he’s decent to my mom, at least. But he didn’t want kids, especially ones that weren’t his. So he stuck around, but he made the rules. Which were basically, don’t be a pain in the ass and stay out of the way.”
What looked like sadness mixed with a hint of anger flashed across Bailey’s face. This was why I didn’t get into things like this, though with her, it was tolerable.
“And you still don’t get along?” she asked, tilting her head.
“I have a trust from my dad’s insurance. Once I turned eighteen and gained access, I moved out, and things improved a little. We can sort of coexist now. He and Sera still butt heads a lot, though.”
“What’s your sister like?” Bailey looked at me playfully. “Is she trouble like you?”
“A bit of a party girl, which is probably why she’s at ASU, but she’s a sweetheart. You’ll like her.”
“I’m sure I will.” She grabbed a chicken wing and took a bite, recoiling and setting it back down on her plate. “Holy crap. These aren’t medium. They’re more like extra-hot.”
“I can send them back if you need, princess.”
“Princess?” She narrowed her eyes. “I can handle them just fine.”
“That’s true. You’re good at handling things.”
“Oh my god, you”—she laughed, shaking her head—“never a missed innuendo.”
“Now you know more than you ever wanted about my fucked-up family tree,” I said. “What about your family? All I know is that your brother hates me.” I bit into the barbecue pork slider, watching her reaction.
Bailey waved me off. “I wouldn’t say he hates you…”
“Yeah.” My lips quirked. “He definitely does.”
Until recently, I would have said I wasn’t a fan of his, either. But if it came down to it, I could get past it for her.
“My parents are your typical middle-class suburbanites. They’ll be married for thirty years next spring. And I have two older brothers besides Derek.”
“Oh good,” I said cheerfully. “Then they can all gang up on me when I meet them.”
“No, they aren’t like that.” Bailey picked up a blue corn tortilla chip and dipped it in the spinach-artichoke dip. “They aren’t into hockey, so Derek’s dumb grudge won’t hold water. And Derek will come around—eventually.” Her lips folded into a frown. “I don’t know what’s gotten into him, actually. We used to be close.” She bit into her chip, expression clouding over.
“Maybe he’s going through something with that whole Jillian mess. But it doesn’t excuse him for being a crappy brother. Not to overstep.”
Friend or not, Derek should have stood up to Morrison about Bailey a long time ago. More than that. Derek should have pummeled Morrison.
Ward was like a brother to me, but had they somehow dated, I would have never let him treat my sister like garbage.
“I don’t disagree,” she said. “But between classes, the paper, and you, I’ll be so busy that I won’t have time to worry about Derek anyway.”
“That’s right. You must be happy about getting the sports section all to yourself.” I grinned.
“I am…Except it means more Bulldogs games.” Bailey drew in a breath. “Maybe that’s what I need to go incognito for.”
My smile faded, my tone dropping. “Anyone gives you trouble, they answer to me.”
It pissed me off that she was uncomfortable with the idea of being around these people, even in public. Especially when she’d never done anything to warrant their dislike. The way they treated her was fucking brutal. A bunch of spineless sheep.
“I think Jillian and Amelia already answered to Shiv.”
“I heard she gave them a nice little verbal smackdown,” I said. “But I meant the guys.”
“Yeah.” Her voice flattened, posture stiffening. “Speaking of that, I’m really dreading this interview with Paul.”
My second least favorite person. Well, tied with Amelia and Jillian. They were all so terrible that it was hard to even rank them at this point.
“I can tag along if you want. Sit there and glare at his sorry ass to keep him in line.”
I was 100 percent not kidding. I would enjoy nothing more than playing bodyguard around that idiot.
She paused with her hand in midair, reaching for a slider. “Probably not necessary, but I appreciate the thought.”
“Are you sure?”
“I think I’ll be okay,” Bailey said, biting back a smile. “Your caveman act is cute as always, though.”
And it was cute that she thought it was an act. This was how I was wired.
OceanofPDF.com
CHAPTER 36
OceanofPDF.com
DOING NOTHING
Bailey
After dinner, I twisted Chase’s arm to get hot chocolates to go from the Uncommon Coffee Co. Not that it took much twisting.