Would I?
I knew that one day, no matter what, we’d become one of those statistics. It wasn’t something Kat and I talked about, but I think she knew, too. If we succeeded in freeing Bethany, there would be consequences. Staying here wouldn’t work. We’d have to leave, possibly even go into hiding. I had money saved up to make that transition work for at least a period of time, but that didn’t make it easy to think about or accept.
I’d changed Kat’s entire life.
And sometimes I could admit how ridiculously selfish I was, because there were moments, many of them, where I knew I wouldn’t change a thing. Made me a shitty person, totally got that, but I tried the whole stay-away-to-protect-her business. Didn’t work.
The only way for us to be in charge of our future, to willingly disappear one day, was to prepare ourselves for our next Mount Weather raid.
We focused on training with the onyx every day that we could. Repeatedly exposing ourselves to the damn stones drained all of us of energy. After every session, Kat and I crashed, and I think we spent more time dozing than we did anything else.
Progress was slowly, painfully being made. Each of us was able to increase our resistance, and by the beginning of May, all of us could withstand the onyx for about fifty seconds before ending up flailing on the ground.
Ash and Dee had started joining us just to watch us basically mutilate ourselves, and today had been the first time Ash tried out some onyx, much to Kat’s amusement. I’d tried to deter Ash, but she didn’t listen. She’d lasted a whole second before shrieking and dropping the stone.
Ash couldn’t understand, after experiencing the pain firsthand, how anything or anyone would be worth subjecting themselves to this, and she was obnoxiously vocal about this, upsetting Dawson. He’d stormed off from the lake and I had followed, talking him down. Dawson had gotten a lot better at handling the rawness of his emotions, but there were still moments when I feared that he was going to run out of the fragile patience and go after Bethany on his own.
Once I was sure Dawson was as settled as he could be, I headed back to the lake. Halfway, I ran into Blake.
He kept a decent distance from me. “How is he?”
Ignoring him, I kept walking. Dawson’s current state was none of his business.
Blake sighed. “Kat is still down by the lake. I didn’t want to leave her—”
Stopping, I wheeled around so fast he looked like he got whiplash from it. He must’ve seen something in my stare, because he quickly backed off with his hands in the air.
“I just didn’t want her to be out here by herself.”
My hands curled into fists. The fact that he acted as if he were Kat’s protector was revolting, but truth was, it had been smart of him to hang around. Being alone, out in the open, wasn’t wise. I watched Blake disappear among the trees before I resumed my trek. I broke free of the last couple of trees and stopped walking. Probably stopped breathing, too.
Everyone had left except Kat. Near the edge of the lake, she lay in the sun, her head resting on the springy grass. Eyes closed and dark hair spread out around her, she was just…just lovely. Walking toward her, I realized she was asleep.
I couldn’t let myself think about the fact that Blake had been creeping nearby while she slept, even if it were necessary. If I did, it would ruin this moment, and dear God, Kat and I had seriously been lacking one-on-one time that didn’t involve us passing out due to exhaustion.
A tired smile tugged at my lips as I stretched out on my side beside her. Propping my head up on my hand, I watched her for a few moments. I thought about what I’d ordered for her over the weekend. It should be here by tonight, and I chuckled as I pictured her expression when she saw it.
If I were a good guy, I’d let her sleep, but I was unable to help myself. I brushed my lips over hers.
Her lashes fluttered and then swept up, revealing soft, unfocused gray eyes. “Hey,” she murmured.
“Hey there, sleeping beauty…”
Kat smiled. “Did you kiss me awake?”
“I did.” I placed my hand on her stomach. “Told you, my lips have mystical powers.”
She laughed. “How long have you been here?”
“Not long.” My eyes searched hers. “I found Blake skulking around the woods. He didn’t want to leave while you were out here.”
Kat rolled her eyes.
“As much as it bothers me, I’m glad he didn’t.” It actually pained me to admit that, like cutting off my own nose or some crap.
“Wow. Pigs are flying.” When I narrowed my eyes, she used her fingers to brush the hair that had fallen over my forehead back. My eyes drifted shut. It was incredibly soothing whenever Kat fooled around with my hair. “How’s Dawson?” she asked.
“Calmed down. How’s Kitten?”
“Sleepy.”