I hated our situation but I would never complain about it to her. It wouldn’t do any good.
We sat down on the tracks and I held her for a long time.
We kissed on and off, over and over, knowing that time was counting down to when she had to leave. We talked about our feelings, our lives, school, the future, all that normal bullshit. For me, it was just about hearing her voice. Seeing the happiness in her eyes when she talked about the future. The only thing we knew… we wanted each other in our future.
“And that’s what we’ll have,” I whispered to her. I touched her chin and kissed her. “No matter what. It’s always about us.”
I got an hour that night with her on the tracks. So much running through my mind and heart. So much I wanted to do to her but couldn’t. I took what I could though. And that was her time, her smile, the sound of her voice, and as many of her kisses as I could.
It was a perfect goddamn night.
When we stood up and she had to leave, I grabbed her and hugged her tight.
“It’s going to work,” I whispered. “I will never leave you.”
“I believe you, King.”
“No matter what happens, I’ll always be back. You just say my name, Linds, and I’ll do everything I can to be back.”
I kissed her again and let her go.
I waited until she was out of sight.
I put my head back and looked up to the moon.
I felt like I was going to cry.
I finally understood what love meant.
42
(Lindsey) *NOW*
“IT’S up to him now,” Knox said as he handed me a cup of hospital coffee. “I’m sorry.”
“I don’t understand any of this,” I said.
“It’s better than being in prison,” Slam said.
“So the guy who helped him shot him?” I asked.
Knox nodded. “We were outside securing the building. Uncle Jakey was finishing up the deal. That Anderson guy came out of nowhere. He shot right at King. Before Uncle Jakey could react, his lawyer, Ted, pulled out a gun and shot Anderson. What a fucking mess.”
“A real fucking mess,” Slam said.
They both wouldn’t look at me when they spoke. Something told me that wasn’t the real story. Instead, it was the story they wanted the world to see.
I put the crappy cup of coffee down on the floor and stood up. “I have to see him.”
“Take it easy, Lindsey,” Knox said. “I don’t want anything to happen to the baby.”
“Stay out of my way, Knox,” I said. “You’ve been there, right? You know the whole story. Me and King. If I’m going to lose him for good I want to be there.”
Knox begged me to give him a minute and I did. He returned with a doctor who I easily tore apart with words and tears, demanding I see King. I made it clear that if I didn’t get to King I would start going into every room until I found him.
“He’s slowly coming out of this,” the doctor said. “The surgery went well but there can still be complications.”
I looked at the doctor, a tear running down my cheek. “All we’ve had is complications, Doctor. What’s a few more?”
I was escorted into a hospital room.
It was a big room with a lifeless King on the bed. The only sounds were the machines beeping, proving that he was still alive. I fought back the tears as I walked to the bed. I grabbed for his hand and lowered myself down to his chest.
I could hear his heart. It was the second most beautiful sound in the world… only behind the sound of my baby’s heartbeat.
I picked up my head and wiped my eyes.
“King. I’m here. I need you here with me. You promised me, right? All those times. I know you hate promises. I know you never really promised me, but it was there. The way things are… this is us. It’s always us. From standing in the rain after you kissed me to finding out about being pregnant, it’s been years.”
I lifted his left hand and kissed it.
I leaned forward and made his hand touch my stomach.
“Our baby is in there, King. If it’s a boy, I need you. I can’t raise your son by myself. A crazy outlaw who wears his passion the way you do. I can’t do it alone. And if it’s a girl? Who is going to protect her? She might be wild like me. Falling in love so easily and with a guy that everyone said was wrong. I need you there to guide her through everything.”
There was no response from King.
Of course there wasn’t.
This wasn’t some cheap romance movie.
This was real life.
And King was fighting for his life.
SLAM, Knox, and Matteo were in the room with me.
“Why don’t you take a breather?’ Slam asked me.
“No,” I said. “I’m standing here until he makes his decision.”
“Lindsey,” Knox whispered. “Doctors said it could be days.”
“Then I’ll wait for days,” I said. “I quit my job. I took a new one. I have time off.”
“Christ, she’s crazy,” Matteo said.
I looked at Matteo. He lifted his hands and mouthed sorry.
Slam stood next to me. He grabbed the foot of the bed.
“I remember the first time I saw his dick.”