I braced my hands on the counter, my fingers digging into the wood. “So Leah’s scholarship, and all that shit about keeping her close when we first got on board…”
He sighed and rubbed his hand over his black hair. “When Rachel got mono and didn’t show up in Miami, I knew I had to keep Leah close and happy. If she left, there was no way Rachel would show up for second term. I also needed Leah to help me with my grades.”
“So you used her?” A dark feeling I didn’t like rolled through my stomach.
“At first,” he admitted softly. “But I fell in love with her, and everything changed.”
“And then she found out, right? When Rachel showed up? Jesus. That’s why you were such an asshole last week. That was why you altered the trailer for the documentary to be all about you falling for her. So she’d see it at the expo and give you a second chance.”
He nodded.
“You’re a manipulative asshole.”
“I have no regrets,” he said. “I brought Rachel here for you to get a second chance. I know she blocked you on social media, and I know you haven’t gone after her because of us—not just me, but the Renegades. And I know now how wrong it was to ever give you that stupid fucking ultimatum.”
For the first time since I’d stolen my best friend’s girl, I felt like there was an open, honest line between us, and as pissed as I was at him, I was also blown away that he’d gone through all of this for me, especially since it involved the one person we’d both agreed to never talk about. Him, because I’d hurt him so badly by going behind his back with her. Me, because I couldn’t bear to hear her name from his mouth. I didn’t care that they’d been together for five months—she had always been mine.
“You’re seriously pushing me at your ex.”
He shrugged. “She was always more of your ex. I…” He took a deep breath. “I was never that heartbroken over Rachel. I liked her, but it was what happened between you and me that broke me.”
“And now with Rachel here? Everything we’ve worked for?” Was he risking the Renegades by bringing her here? Our friendship?
“I’m honestly okay. I have Leah, and there is no one on this earth better for me than she is.”
“You would walk away from the Renegades for Leah,” I said as fact, not question.
“In a heartbeat.”
I fidgeted with the label. “I walked away from Rachel. It decimated me, but I did it.” And she would never forgive me. I’d seen it in her eyes.
“You had your reasons.”
“She doesn’t know them.”
“Then tell her. It doesn’t have to be today, or tomorrow. You’ve got six months with her living right down the hall.”
“She hates me.”
“There’s a fine line between hate and love, my friend.”
I nodded slowly.
“Unless you don’t want her anymore?” Paxton asked quietly. “If that’s the case, then mend your fences as friends and we just…move past this.”
“That’s not it,” I fired back, my stomach in knots. “I’ve never stopped wanting Rachel—missing her. There’s no one who knows me better than she does. No one challenges me like she does or gives me the peace she can. Hell yes, I want her. But it wasn’t like I could really talk about it with you guys.”
“I know, and I’m sorry.”
I looked up in surprise. Paxton never apologized. Ever.
He met my gaze. “I am sorry that you were hurt, and that I was too selfish and too pissed to realize it. I’m sorry that it took me this long to try to fix things, but you are my best friend, and you deserve to be happy. If Rachel is that happiness, then I’m all for it.”
“She won’t even talk to me. That ship sailed a long time ago.”
“This ship is still at sail, and will be for the next six months.” He smirked. “You’re called Nova for a reason, Casanova. You’ve wooed every woman who comes within fifteen feet of you.”
“Except Leah and Penna,” I clarified.
“Penna would punch you in the face,” he said with a smile. “And I’d kill you if you went near Leah.” All trace of humor was gone for a second.
“Yeah, I know.” Not that Leah wasn’t beautiful, she just…wasn’t Rachel. No one had been Rachel. No matter how hard I’d tried to move on, she was the woman I measured everyone else against. They all came up short.
“My point is, if you want her, woo the fuck out of her.”
“And when she shoots me down?”
He grinned. “Woo her even harder.”
Woo her. Rachel had never fallen for my crap. She thrived on honesty, passion, and a little danger.
My head was still reeling from seeing her, realizing that she was less than two hundred feet away, but I wasn’t stupid. Even if nothing happened between us, if all I could do was make her understand why I left, then it would be worth it.
I just had to start by getting her to talk to me.
Good thing I was a persistent kind of guy.
Chapter Four
Rachel
At Sea
“I’m seriously bummed about the beverage situation,” I told Leah the next day as I evil-eyed my Pepsi.
“I promise that while we’re exploring Sri Lanka, you’re not going to be thinking about Cherry Coke.” She flipped a page in her economics book and didn’t even look up. Her focus was incredible, especially since we sat in a crowded cafeteria with the ocean directly in front of us. Maybe she was immune to the view. After all, she’d been on board for three months already. I was still entranced with…well, everything.
“I’m not sure I’ll be exploring with you,” I said as I moved my fries over and squeezed a small puddle of ketchup onto my plate.
Leah slammed her book shut. “What do you mean? We planned this whole trip together.” Her eyes narrowed. “You don’t want to be around Landon.”
I dipped my fry, then bit and savored the deliciousness. There was something about having American comfort food when you weren’t anywhere near America that had me ready to hug the ship’s chef.
“Don’t avoid the question by molesting your food,” Leah ordered.
“Fine. I don’t want to be around Landon. I already have to be with him for two classes, and I don’t really want him included in all of my sailing around the world memories.”
She narrowed her eyes at me while she chewed thoughtfully.
“Do you want to know what I think?” she finally asked.
“Nope,” I said, popping another fry into my mouth. That cheeseburger looked really good, too.
“Well, I’m going to tell you, anyway.”
“I figured as much.” I sucked down a sip of my Pepsi and waited. The best and worst part of having Leah as a best friend was that she didn’t pull punches. She had no problem calling me out on my bullshit.
“I don’t think you ever got over him.”
My chest heaved, and it took every muscle in my body to keep the soda from flying out of my nose. Somehow I managed to safely swallow. “Seriously?”
“When we met, it was right after Landon left you, and Brian had just died.”