“Well, I know I’ve taught you that it’s rude to be late,” his mom said. “Now I’ve got to write you a note for school and for your teacher. Make sure to also apologize in person.”
Jacob leaned his head back against the railing of the porch and let the early-morning sun bring him some warmth. “I plan to apologize to everyone.”
“You’re a good boy,” she said softly, warmly. “And, honey?”
“Yeah?”
“You sound different this morning. More…relaxed.”
When he closed his eyes, he could still see Sophie naked and over him in his bed, head back, mouth open, the sexiest little whimpers escaping her while she rode his tongue. Yeah, he was most definitely feeling more than a little relaxed.
“Is it a girl? Because if so, you tell her that you can’t afford to be distracted right now. You have grades to pull up.”
He pressed his fingers into his eyes, a knot tightening in his chest. “I know. It’s going to be okay, Mom.” Even if he didn’t know how.
“Well, I know that,” she said, and paused. “Honey? I sure wish you’d undo our pinkie promise.”
The one where he’d convinced her not to tell Hud that he’d been checking in with her every week for the nine years he’d been gone and that he’d managed to visit at least once a year on leave. “Someday,” he said.
Carrie sighed. “Love you, baby.”
“Love you, too, Mom.”
“Don’t forget to do your homework!” she said, and hung up.
Jacob blew out a breath and closed his eyes. The nurses had assured him she was physically healthy and doing fine, but no one could tell him when or if she’d ever figure out she was living in the past most of the time.
Shaking it off, he stood and stretched for a minute or two and then went for a run along the lake, heading north. Hell, maybe Carrie was the lucky one, not having to live in the moment, in the present, facing life’s harsh realities every day. He wouldn’t mind the same once in a while.
Five miles later he found himself at the resort. Unable to help himself, he walked around, refamiliarizing himself with the place that seemed at once exactly what he remembered and yet so different.
They’d grown, he’d realized. The day lodge had once housed the cafeteria and several shops, but now those shops had been pulled out and sat in another building adjacent to the lodge. The outside eating area had a beautiful overhang to allow shade, and the huge north wall of the place was no longer just a plain wall.
A mural had been painted on it. A huge mural that had been done like a gorgeous 3-D tapestry, depicting the brand of Kincaid family that was the five siblings: Gray, Aidan, Hud, Kenna, and…himself. Bigger than life.
He was still standing there staring at himself when Kenna came up to his side. She didn’t say anything, but he could feel the emotions coming off her in heavy waves. He drew a deep breath as he stared straight ahead, just as she was doing. “I know you’re mad at me,” he said. “And you have good reason. I shouldn’t have left like I did. And I shouldn’t have stayed away.”
She didn’t say anything, and he realized with a hot poker-like stab of pain to the gut that she stood there silently, tears pouring down her face. Gutted, he closed his eyes. She’d been sixteen when he’d left, and he’d known her for only a few years before that because his dad, their dad, was an asshole. But Jacob had known damn well that Kenna had worshipped him.
And she was crying.
She never cried. Once she’d broken her arm riding on Hud’s shoulders on his skateboard and hadn’t shed a tear. She’d crashed on Devil’s Face skiing and broken her leg. She’d become a world-champion boarder. And she’d had a very public meltdown.
All without shedding a single tear.
“Kenna,” he whispered hoarsely, devastated when he turned his head and found her big eyes swimming with emotion that nearly drowned him.
“I loved you,” she whispered, and punched him in the gut.
Chapter 11
Nice right hook,” Jacob said.
“I’ve got a left hook too,” Kenna said, her voice still broken. “And unless you want to see it, start talking.”
He turned to face her and—very carefully—put his hands on her arms and pulled her in.
She resisted for a beat and then stepped in to him, burrowing deep with far less hesitation than he’d shown, slipping her arms around his waist and pressing her face to his chest. And then her shoulders started to shake and she slayed him dead.
Her overwhelming emotions spilled onto him, making him remember everything he’d so carefully buried. Walking away from those he loved so thoroughly that he’d lost them. Then losing Brett, and everything he’d shoved so deep he’d hoped to never feel again came barreling back, stealing his breath. All he could do was hold on.
Finally she shoved free, swiped a hand under her nose, and jabbed a finger into his chest. “You just walked away, like…like I was nothing to you.”
He shook his head. “No,” he managed. “Not like that. Kenna—”
“You never even looked back! I mean, how could you do that, Jacob? You devastated me and I’m so…” She blew out a breath and tossed up her hands.