DIDI MARKED PASSING time by her mother venturing into her room for food and meds. She must have been doing it in between jobs, because this was the most she had seen of her mother in a while. Didi’s latest dark period must have been a doozy if her mom was keeping close watch. She remembered snippets, but most of that time stretched out in a blur spent in the oblivion of sleep.
Caleb had left. Like he promised he would. Why he had come to her house that day still confused her. For a guy who didn’t believe in love to say that he might be falling in love with her? His confession the night of the accident had sounded so true it must have been a lie. She’d probably misheard him, because she remembered nothing else afterward . . . not until her mother had brought her home a groggy mess from all the antipsychotics and antidepressants they had pumped into her system at the hospital. She didn’t ask about the bills, and her mother didn’t say anything. Didi spent most of her time in a tar pit so black no light could penetrate it.
She pushed her head out of the mound of comforters she had been under. Judging from the smell, she hadn’t showered in a while. Her hair stuck to her scalp in a ratty mess. The nail polish Natasha had painstakingly applied the night of Caleb’s birthday was chipped in several places. Just like the fantasy. It had been fun while it lasted. Landed her in the psych ward, but it had been worth it to be a part of that world. She’d eaten great food. She’d worn beautiful dresses. She’d met new, interesting people who had made her think not all of them were rich pricks and spoiled bitches. Although Amber/Ashley definitely belonged to the fake-bitch side. But that was all over now. Back to her regularly scheduled program.
Caleb’s parting words during one of her more lucid moments in the dark hole came to her as she forced her eyes open.
“I’m here for you,” she mumbled, curling deeper into the dent her body had made in the mattress from not moving out of the fetal position she found most comfortable. She waited for the nausea that came with staying in bed for an extended period to ease.
The doorbell rang, making her flinch in her cocoon. Who could it be? Not Caleb. He didn’t seem like the try-again-after-being-rejected type. A soft shuffling to the door followed by a muffled conversation. Her mom was home. Shouldn’t she have been at work?
She closed her eyes again as the soft click of the front door shutting seemed to echo through the house. Had it always been this quiet? What Didi wouldn’t give for some music. Then again putting music on meant getting up. Not right now.
The side of her bed dipped as she was about to drift off again. A gentle hand touched her shoulder. Was it time for meds and food already?
“Didi?”
“Hmm?” she moaned.
Her mother sighed. “Don’t you think it’s time to get out of bed? You’ve been camping out in here for too long.”
In response, she burrowed farther into her nook.
The hand on her shoulder rubbed soothing circles over the comforter. “That was Natasha just now.”
Her ears perked up. “Oh?”
“She said you had plans of showing her your paintings? I didn’t know Nathan had a twin. She’s pretty.”
“Yeah,” she mumbled, her mouth dry from not speaking. The inside tasted like something had crawled in and died. She cleared her throat. “I was supposed to paint her.”
“Didi.” She sighed again. “You know that all I want is what’s best for you, right?”
Unable to find any comfort from her position anymore, Didi rolled onto her back. Her eyes blinked open until she locked gazes with the woman who had devoted everything to taking care of her. There were still lines of fatigue on that weathered face, but the purple splotches were gone from beneath her eyes. It seemed she had been catching up on sleep too.
“I know,” Didi said with a nod. “And you were right. I shouldn’t have agreed to Caleb’s proposal. It was one big mess.”
Instead of replying right away, her mom picked up a glass of water from the nightstand. Wanting a sip, Didi pushed up to a seated position. She took the glass with both hands and brought the rim to her parched lips. A moan escaped her after a grateful gulp of the cool liquid. Water had never tasted so sweet.
“What?” she finally asked when a pensive expression crossed her mother’s face. “Please don’t tell me you were fired for staying home too long.”
She blinked several times before smiling. “No. I’m still employed. I was just thinking . . .”
“Thinking?” Didi prompted, when it seemed like her mother wasn’t going to continue.
“I know you know neglecting to take your meds was reckless. But no matter how wrong I thought your relationship was, I can’t ignore the fact that you were happy. That he made you happy. I think I made a mistake in asking him to disappear from your life. And I think you’ll regret it someday if you allow him to leave. I don’t want to deny you the chance to be with him if that is what you truly want.”