Taking a deep breath, she picked up her socks and shuffled to the kitchen. On the table she saw the first note: Honey, paid the power bill. Love, Mom. She smiled. Obviously, since the lights were on. At least it was one less thing she had to think about, especially since she had no job to help with the expenses. She turned toward the fridge and found the next note: D, made lasagna. The third note was stuck to the micro wave: Already precut the lasagna. Place one of the plates in for a minute. On top of the micro wave was a plastic cover with yet another note: Make sure to cover the plate or the sauce will splatter. Remember, just sixty seconds.
Didi shook her head when her eyes landed on the most important note of them all: Don’t forget to take your meds. It was stuck to the plastic organizer. Mothering from afar, that was what her mother called it. No use delaying the inevitable. She filled a glass from the tap, then opened the PM portion and took out the pills one at a time. Three hundred milligrams of lithium prevented the mania. Twenty milligrams of Prozac treated the depression. Fifty milligrams of trazodone helped her sleep. Klonopin was for her anxiety. And the propranolol was for the shakes. Each one vital. Each one she would take for the rest of her life.
Many viewed mental illness as a weakness. To her it was like being on a boat alone in the ocean, holding a kite string in one hand and an anchor chain in the other and finding the balance so she wouldn’t sink.
With each pill she swallowed, she felt some sort of normalcy return. Of course, the real effects of the drugs wouldn’t happen until she digested them, but the mere thought of taking them was enough to calm her down.
Breathing easier, she headed into the laundry room. Opening the washer, she dropped her dripping socks inside and began stripping. When she was in nothing but her underwear, she dumped the rest of the clothes from the basket she had left there the night before and scooped in detergent. With the last of her strength, she turned on the washer, then hobbled the final steps into her room. She fell into bed and dragged the comforter over herself. Painting Caleb could wait.
Five
THE FIRST WORDS out of Caleb’s mouth as he faced Nathan and Preston across the octagonal gazebo at the far end of the Parker Estate half an hour later were, “JJ Parker has gone insane.”
Nathan tilted his head in wonder while Preston . . . well, looked like himself—stoic, with arms crossed. His friend’s silence he was used to, but his cousin being unusually mute unnerved him. He had expected a louder reaction than blinking.
He opened his mouth to speak again, when Nathan finally asked, “What the hell happened between the time we dropped you off and now?”
Like a dam breaking, Caleb launched into a fast-paced narration of events. He paced as he spoke, waving his hands in the air.
“Now I have to spend three days a week at the firm starting Monday if I want Europe and the rest of the year off,” he finished, breathing heavily. Not five minutes after he had left his father’s study, he had gotten a call from JJ’s assistant informing him of his duties as an unpaid intern and how many days he was expected to show up at the office downtown. Caleb might not have seen the man’s face while on the phone, but the guy sure did sound smug. Unpaid had surely been his father’s idea, since interns got a weekly stipend when they worked for Parker and Associates. Oh, how far the mighty had fallen in the course of a single day, and he damned Amber to the pits of hell for it.
“So, let me see if I understand everything. . . .” Nathan waved his hand in the air while Caleb concentrated on not hyperventilating. “Because you broke up with Amber, JJ wants you to intern at the firm for the summer and attend all the events to get your gap year back.”
Caleb bit back the choice words he had at the mention of Amber’s name as Preston added in that deep, quiet voice of his, “Don’t forget keeping his nose clean.”
“Right.” Nathan nodded in his best friend’s direction. “Thank you.”
Preston crossed his legs, his foot nudging against Nathan’s shin. A soft breeze ruffled his sun-kissed blond hair. The muscles in his tanned arms bulged as he gestured toward Caleb. “Is there any chance of you getting back together with Amber until the end of the summer? There are a lot of events sponsored by the firm this year. I already have the invites at home. And knowing JJ, you’ll have to attend all of them in order for him to give you the go-ahead to leave for Europe.”
“I mean, what’s a little over two months of sticking it out with her compared to the freedom you’ll get afterward? Breaking her heart after she successfully shielded you doesn’t seem like such a big sacrifice,” Nathan chimed in, playing devil’s advocate.
“But she broke the rule,” Caleb said, a frown creasing his brow.
“Can’t you make an exception this one time?” Preston asked.
“No.”
Sympathy colored Nathan’s tone when he said, “Caleb, you know I will bury a body for you, but sometimes you frustrate me. Love is love. If she feels that way, then let her. It doesn’t mean you have to return it. You’re already in a bind as it is.”
“What does that make me if I string her along for two more months?”
“Someone concerned about self-preservation.”