Kit looked confused. “I don’t understand what you mean.”
Luna fidgeted with her hands in her lap, her leg bouncing beneath the table. “I was supposed to be one of the girls—Emmett’s girls—but Lawrence wanted me to himself.”
“Was that not preferable to the other possibility?”
“Are you serious?” The question exploded out of her before she could swallow it back down.
The way he made it sound, she should have been appreciative that Lawrence had chosen her, as though everything he had put her through couldn’t have possibly been as bad compared to what she might have suffered at the hands of others.
Kit didn’t look apologetic, but he was regarding her differently now. “I—”
“No, I never considered who I would prefer to be raped by when I was there. And no, when I was fourteen, or the three years since, I didn’t want Lawrence, or his friends.”
What suspiciously sounded like a curse sprang from his mouth as he dropped his fork with a clatter on his plate, the rest of his food left untouched. “It was a poor choice of words. I didn’t mean to imply—”
“If I was given a preference, I would have chosen not to have Lawrence’s attention.” Her eyes stung with the need to cry, her fists clenched tight. “There was a time limit for the men that came there—I’m sure you remember that well—so they took what they wanted then left. There was no leaving with Lawrence. When he wanted to rape me, he did. It didn’t matter when, where, or who was watching. So if you think I wanted that, you’re as sick as he is.”
“My apologies, Luna,” he whispered.
And he actually sounded sorry, but Luna didn’t care—she was under no obligation to.
“Can I go?” she asked looking down at her hands.
She wanted to get out of there, to escape from this disaster—at least before she made a fool of herself and actually cried. She had learned to hold them in when she was with Lawrence because he craved them—hey were what got him off the most besides her pain—and she wasn’t going to let him make her cry just because he hurt her feelings.
“You haven’t eaten,” he pointed out, oddly.
Did he think that really mattered?
“I’m not hungry.” It wouldn’t be the first time she went to bed on an empty stomach. Another day wouldn’t hurt.
But Kit wasn’t willing to give up that quickly. “I offended you, that wasn’t my intention.”
Maybe he hadn’t, but the damage was already done. So for once, Luna did something she usually didn’t.
She squeezed her eyes shut a moment before saying, “Please.”
Kit looked like he wanted to argue further, but ultimately he sat back with a sigh, and nodded once.
Luna was out of her seat in seconds, careful not to disturb the new plate setting as she slipped out of the chair and darted off back down the hallway.
But when she got back to her room, she didn’t go to bed as she’d intended, but slipped out the French doors, sitting down near the very edge of the stone balcony where she had the best view of the moon and stars.
This, she thought with emotion squeezing in her chest, this was as close to freedom as she would ever get.
But … it didn’t have to be.
Uilleam had told her before he disappeared that she was free to walk the grounds, so at the very least, she could leave this room.
She wanted to feel the grass beneath her feet—feel the cool air on her skin and breathe it all in.
She wanted to feel alive.
Glancing over the balcony once more, she tried to gauge the drop before carefully swinging one leg over, checking her balance, then did the other. Carefully, she laid her palms on the stone and dropped, wind whistling through her hair as she rushed to the ground, landing with a stumble before losing her footing.
With a triumphant smile, Luna rolled onto her stomach before pushing to her feet. The blades of grass were slightly damp, though the sky was clear.
She was walking at first, content at just feeling the blades of grass beneath her feet, then she was running, away from the chateau, away from the man inside it, and away from the reminder that her life was not her own.
Luna didn’t know where she was going, if there was anywhere to go, but she ran as fast as her feet would carry her.
There was a lightness to her step as she darted across the lawn. As her eyes adjusted to the darkness, Luna didn’t stop until she was yards away from her new home.
Out here, the strain lessened.
She could do this.
She could survive for a little while longer until her debt was repaid.
In her haste to get away, Luna hadn’t considered where Kit’s guards were stationed. She was just coming around a marble sculpture when she stopped short, nearly running into one of the four from earlier.
His mask, or rather the glowing art that decorated it was all Luna could see—the only one that hadn’t added any design to his besides the void where the mouth should have been.