But he was not, strictly speaking, quite sane, even though he didn’t hear many animals.
At age ninety-one, with his CoreModded organs updated by the special dispensation from the Crown, Cuthbert might have had another decade or two of life to look forward to if he could stay away from the Flōt. He was trying—very hard. He’d make it weeks sometimes, and only rarely need to go, to rest a few days, to the Whittington detox. He would vanish from Astrid’s flat for a week or two, then come back, always remorseful. But he always came back. In so many ways, he still believed that Astrid was his long-dead brother, Drystan, and Astrid didn’t have the heart to disabuse him of the notion.
In her own unobtrusive way, Astrid had learned much more about him in the last year—the abuse he and his sibling suffered at their father’s hands, his mother’s emotional neglect, the inexorable love the two boys received from their witchy gran. Above all, she discovered the deep break in Cuthbert’s being that occurred when his older brother drowned.
Earlier that summer, one morning, Cuthbert had asked “for that coin,” just to see it again.
“The souvenir bracteate? The one you gave me?”
“Yes.”
She snatched the Undley Bracteate from her pocket. She’d learned that boffins at the University of Leicester had decoded the ancient Anglo-Frisian inscription on the coin. It turned out that gagoga maga medu meant something along the lines of “Abracadabra—to you, kinsman, a drink of mead.” The researchers said it was actually the oldest sentence in English.
Cuthbert glanced at the bracteate for a moment, as if looking for something. There were the two brothers, Romulus and Remus, drinking from the teats of a she-wolf beneath the image of Constantine.
“I’ve not been as good to yow, Astrid, as yow’ve been to me. I canna stop missing my brother, Dryst, and I’m sorry for that.”
“No,” she said to him. “Never think that way. You’ve helped me—you brought me through the Death, you know?”
“I’ve done nothing,” he said. “It’s yow, Astrid. Yow’re the angel.”
In the year he was with her, all this knowledge helped her come to her own livable terms with what happened to her in second withdrawal, when she herself experienced a mystical encounter, and with what had happened since. She’d come to believe that being the Christ of Otters wasn’t a supernatural event; it was subnatural. It was a deeper part of being human.
AFTER HIS NAP, with Muezza at his toes, Cuthbert did something he’d pledged to himself that he’d never do. He snooped around the flat a bit and went where he knew he oughtn’t. He tiptoed into Astrid’s bedroom, looking behind himself continually, terrified she’d walk into the flat. It wasn’t the London Zoo, and there was no malice or prurience, but he hated himself for doing it. He felt compelled only out of a loving, cracked desire to know more about Astrid, whom he still associated with Drystan in a way that was helplessly immovable.
So a few minutes later, the erstwhile saint stood at his Messiah’s dresser, and he gazed at the small collection of things Astrid had put there. They struck him as sacred, even in their mundanity. There were the three fotolives, including the one with Astrid as a girl in a red teepee, and extra hairpins. There was a loose gangliatoxic round packed into its cylindrical bronze cartridge. There was a set of blue nuplastic swimming goggles with a precious white band. And there was a carefully folded DNA wipe with tiny number 5’s all over it.
Cuthbert unfolded and flattened the wipe out. It was dated from the day before yesterday.
He’d heard of these wipes, but he’d never seen or used one. He felt curious. It felt dry and papery, yet slightly sticky somehow, too. He suddenly recalled that, the day before yesterday, Astrid had gently wiped a bit of cake from the corner of his mouth at tea, using what he thought was a serviette. He hadn’t thought twice about it until now. She had looked oddly uncomfortable, he realized, not herself. The wipes were used to establish or prove familial genetic relationships, and this one indicated that the chance of a direct genetic connection between whoever had been swiped was roughly 5 percent. Cuthbert began to refold it, but he couldn’t keep the folds straight, and this—and the sudden dread that she would reject him—caused such anxiety, his hands shook and the refolding process failed again and again.
Such was the weakness of Cuthbert’s hearing, and his distracted state, that when a scrabbling at the flat’s front door began, and Astrid came in, he hadn’t a clue she was behind him.
“No,” she said. “Don’t look at that. Please, Cuddy.”