But he’d stepped back and was turning away. “So protect that miracle. Let yourself have time to get priorities in order before you jump into the fray. Life out there can be scary, even terrifying.”
“Terrifying?” It was a strange thing for him to say. “I’m not afraid of terrifying. It’s only the unknown. It’s what people who aren’t protected by people like my mom and you face every day. It’s called life.” She turned toward the doorway to the auditorium, where a stage manager appeared. He spoke into his wireless headset and flashed his index finger, indicating one minute until showtime.
One minute, and she’d once more be drawn into that smothering darkness. One minute, and she’d feel the chains reaching out for her again.
Kendra whirled back to Waldridge. “I’ve given it all the time I can. This needs to stop.”
He tilted his head. “That sounds very defensive. No one’s making you do this, Kendra.”
“I know it.” She moistened her lips. “But sometimes it sure feels like it.”
“No.” Waldridge glanced toward the end of the corridor, where a tall, lanky man stood. Was that coincidence? Kendra wondered. The man wore a black suit and a crisp white shirt, and his appearance vaguely reminded Kendra of a Secret Service man … or an undertaker.
“Who is he?” Kendra asked.
“A supporter of the project.”
“I’ve seen you with him before. In Dallas and New York.”
“Yes.”
She frowned. “You speak differently to him than you do everyone else.”
Waldridge looked at her in surprise. “What do you mean?”
“With everyone else, with all your colleagues, you’re the main man. You’re the boss. Everyone is always trying to impress you. But not this guy. For some reason, you defer to him.”
“That’s not true.”
“Yes, it is.”
He stared at her for an instant and smiled. “Those eyes have become very sharp in these last months. He’s a very important supporter. Everyone has to defer to someone in this world.”
“Not you. You shouldn’t have to do that. Why hasn’t he ever introduced himself to me?”
“Perhaps he’s shy.”
“I don’t believe that.” She studied the man at the far end of the corridor. He stiffened and turned toward her as if he’d felt her looking at him. He stood there gazing at her for a long moment. Then he abruptly walked away, disappearing into the darkness. Kendra’s gaze shifted back to Waldridge. “I don’t like your ‘supporter.’ He wants me to keep on doing these dog-and-pony shows, doesn’t he?”
“It doesn’t matter to him. Not at all.”
“I believe it does. Why else would he be going to all these conferences? I’m not that fascinating.”
“Oh, but you are. You just haven’t found it out yet.”
“I haven’t found out a lot of things. That’s what I’ve been trying to tell you. I know you think my appearance at these conferences help promote what you’re doing, and that’s why I’ve been on board for it.” She stared down the corridor at the spot where the lanky man had stood. “But I don’t like anyone thinking they’re so important that they can tell a man who works miracles what to do. And I don’t like the politics, and I don’t like the publicity. So you’re going to have to find another poster child. I’m bowing out. This is the last speech I’m giving for you guys.”
“Could we talk about this later?”
“No. This is later as far as I’m concerned.”
“Kendra…”
“You said I might never be normal, and that’s all right. I’ll be what I’m meant to be because I’m going to get to know who that is.” She stepped closer to him. He was so important to her. She had to make him see what she was seeing. She was willing him to understand with all her heart. “I’m going to experience everything that comes my way. I’m going to drink the wine. I’m going to reach out to people. I’m going to understand how they think and why they think it. I’m going drown myself in music. I’m going to sing and not mind if I’m not perfect at it. I’m going to live.”
She drew a deep breath, staring desperately up at him. “You mean so much to me. I’ll listen to you. I don’t know if you can convince me, but if you tell me that I’m wrong, I’ll listen, and I’ll think about it.”
He slowly shook his head. “I refuse to lose credibility in your eyes. I value your respect far too much.” He smiled ruefully. “Besides, you’ve already made up your mind. I stood here watching you, and you almost swept me away with you.”
“You understand?” she insisted. “It’s not because I don’t realize what I owe you.”
“You don’t owe me anything. I was paid in full when I watched your face that day you took off the bandages.”
“Bullshit.”
“I’ll accept the correction. Perhaps you owe me a bit more, but you have to accept that I received a huge gift that day, too.” His smile vanished. “So I refuse to collect any more compensation from you in any form. Get the hell out of here. Right now.”