Lexi cried until there was nothing left inside of her. Then, drawing in a deep breath, she exhaled slowly and got to her feet.
Feeling hollow and shaky, she dressed in a pair of plain black pants, black flats, and a short-sleeved blue angora sweater that Mia had bought for her.
In the living room, she found Eva standing by the kitchen table, dressed all in black, looking worried. She was gulping coffee—it was what she did when she was nervous; that was one of the things Lexi knew about Eva now. Whenever Eva missed smoking, she drank black coffee until the craving passed. “This is a bad idea. What if there are reporters there?”
“I have to face them sooner or later.”
Eva gave her one last worried look, started to say something, and changed her mind. Lips thinned by those unspoken words, she walked out of the double-wide and led the way to the old Ford Fairlane.
They drove onto the island in silence.
As they passed the high school, Lexi noticed the reader board. Now it read: Mia Farraday Memorial. Grace Church. 4:00 P.M. today / GRAD SATURDAY @ 1:00.
The parking lot in front of the church was full.
Lexi let out her breath.
Eva pulled into an empty spot and parked.
Lexi got out of the car. As she moved forward, her broken arm started to ache and nerves fluttered in the pit of her stomach.
“You can do it,” Eva said, taking hold of Lexi’s good arm.
Inside, the church was full of teenagers and parents and teachers. Up by the altar was a poster of Mia in her costume from Once upon a Mattress. In the beaded blue bodice, with stage makeup emphasizing her green eyes, she looked radiant and beautiful, a young woman with a bright future.
Lexi stumbled; Eva kept her going.
Lexi heard people whisper as she passed.
“… Lexi Baill … surprise…”
“… if she’d been a better friend…”
“… poor thing…”
“… some nerve…”
“Hey, Lexi, you want to sit here? Lexi.”
She turned slowly, saw Zach’s ex-girlfriend, Amanda Martin, sitting in the pew to her right.
Amanda scooted sideways, made her mom and dad scrunch together to make room.
Lexi sat down by Amanda. She looked into the girl’s sad eyes, and suddenly they were both crying. They hadn’t been friends in high school, but it didn’t matter now; all that stuff just fell away. “It totally wasn’t your fault,” Amanda said. “I don’t care what people say.”
Lexi was surprised by how much that meant to her. “Thanks.”
Before Amanda could say anything else, the service began.
The priest said Mia’s name, and every high school girl in the church burst into tears, and more than a few boys joined in. The priest’s words painted a picture of a happy eighteen-year-old girl who was almost Mia and yet not quite. He didn’t say that she snored when she lay on her back or that she moved her lips when she read or that she liked to hold her best friend’s hand while they walked through the mall.
His words she could withstand. It was the slideshow of Mia’s life that devastated her. Mia in a pink tutu, her arms circled above her head … Mia holding a Captain Hook action figure, grinning … holding Zach’s hand as they stood in the cold ocean water, grimacing. The last picture was of Mia alone, wearing a crazy tie-dyed T-shirt and cutoffs, smiling for the camera, giving the world a thumbs-up.
Lexi closed her eyes, sobbing now. Music began to play: it was not the right music. Mia wouldn’t have liked the droning, solemn chords. And somehow that hurt most of all. Whoever had picked the music hadn’t thought of Mia. It should have been a Disney song, something that would have gotten Mia on her feet and made her sing along with her hairbrush as a microphone …
Sing with me, Lexster. We could be in a band … and Zach, laughing, saying, no more, Mia, dogs are starting to howl …
Lexi wanted to clamp her hands over her ears, but the words came from inside of her, memories blooming up and spilling over.
“Time to go, Lexi,” Amanda said gently.
Lexi opened her eyes. “Thanks, for letting me sit with you.”