Never Let You Go

“I set that up before you came over,” he says. “Thought you might want some privacy.”


I turn to look at him. He’s standing in the doorway, Mom beside him, and I know she wants me to say something nice, but I’m realizing, for the first time, how they don’t really fit together. Mom is kind of preppy, wholesome, like one of those women who go back to school in their forties and becomes a doctor or something. Greg looks like one of those guys who never really grows up. I instantly feel bad for the thought. “Thanks for letting us stay here.”

“No problem. I want you to feel at home. If you guys end up staying longer, you can paint the room whatever color you want.”

“We’re going to be living here?” Mom didn’t say anything like that. When we went to visit Angus, she just said we were going to Greg’s until the police find out if Dad was in our neighborhood yesterday afternoon. The vet figured out Angus was drugged with Ambien. Mom freaked when she heard that.

Greg’s face kind of turns red and he looks at Mom. Her face is also flushing. “We don’t know yet what’s going to happen,” she says. “Let’s take one day at a time for now.”

I give her a how-can-you-do-this-to-me look. She smiles brightly and says, “So should we order pizza for dinner? Greg says there’s a really good restaurant nearby.”

“I’m not hungry.” After we saw Angus, Mom and I went to Tim Hortons, then home to pack up. My sandwich is still sitting like a lump in my stomach.

“We’ll order a couple types,” Greg says. “You can decide later.”

I sit down on the bed. “Okay if I hang out in here for a little bit and watch some TV?” I make my eyes big and sad. “I’m just really upset about Angus.”

Mom narrows her eyes at me, making it clear she knows I’m playing her, but I know she won’t say anything in front of Greg. I am upset about Angus and what my dad did to him, but mostly I want to be alone so I can call Jared.

“Sure,” she says. “Come out whenever you’re ready.”

After they’re gone, I close the door behind them, then settle on the bed and turn on the TV. I don’t plan on watching anything, but I want the background noise. I flip to the music channel and it’s playing one of the songs we listened to at Jared’s party last night. I smile at the memory. The party was fun, and Jared was right, his friends were nice. Even the girls—one of them said she loved my hair. Jared was also right about his parents leaving us alone. I only saw them once at the door, then we hung out downstairs for the rest of the time. A few kids had brought bottles of booze and Jared rolled a couple of joints. I wasn’t going to smoke any, but then he blew some in my mouth and it was kind of sexy and fun and I ended up getting high.

We snuck upstairs to his room and made out for a while. We even took our shirts off and it was amazing, feeling his skin next to mine. I almost wanted to go all the way with him, had made up my mind to just get it over with, but when his hands started going down my pants, I panicked and said no. He rolled over and stared up at the ceiling for a while, his chest heaving.

“I thought you were into it?”

“I am, but that doesn’t mean I want to do everything.”

He turned and looked at me. “Are you a virgin?”

I felt the heat in my cheeks. “Screw you.” I started to get up.

He grabbed my hand. “No, sorry. Stay. I didn’t know. I’ll slow things down, okay?” I settled back down beside him and he rolled closer. “I wish you could stay here forever.”

“You’d get bored of me.”

“No,” he said firmly. “I’ll never get bored of you.”

We texted all night after I got home, and a few times today. He knows we’re staying at Greg’s. My phone vibrates now. How’s it going?

Okay.

Heard from your dad?

No. He’s such an asshole. I can’t believe he tried to kill Angus!

Want to get something to eat?

Greg and my mom are ordering pizza.

So?

I’ll ask.



Twenty minutes later, Jared picks me up. I thought Mom would insist I stay home with them, but I think she feels bad about everything and only asked me to be back by ten. When Jared comes to the door she walks us out. “Be careful on the roads.”

“Sure thing, Lindsey.” My mom smiles, but it looks fake, then she closes the door. Sometimes I get the feeling she might not really like Jared, but I’m not sure why. It probably doesn’t help when he calls her by her first name, which is pretty bold. We get in his car.

“Why do you call my mom Lindsey?”

He looks surprised. “I don’t know her last name. I mean, yours is Nash, but she’s divorced. I’ve always called her Lindsey at my house, so I thought it was okay.”

“I don’t think she likes it.”

“Whatever.” He shrugs. “I’ll stop.” He’s staring out the window, so I can’t tell if he’s embarrassed, but I decide to move on. I’ve got bigger things to worry about.

Chevy Stevens's books